Black Pastors: Impeach Holder. “A coalition of black pastors … calling for the impeachment of Attorney General Eric Holder for violating his oath of office by trying ‘to coerce states to fall in line with the same-sex marriage agenda.'” Let’s just say consistent, gross abuse of power. Gross.

Cindy Sheehan for California Governor, 2014. “Then this is a day of independence For all the Munchkins and their descendants!” Betcha that’ll make ’em forget “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”

Report: ‘Rampant corruption’ in Booker’s Newark. “Will the national media run with this story, considering that it appears to entangle a rising star politician from New Jersey?” Well, they might if Booker was a fat, white Republican who may have caused a traffic jam…

CNN’s media critic: Journalists shouldn’t ‘give equal time’ to global warming skeptics. “Let’s begin with an important journalistic statement. Some stories don’t have two sides. Some stories are simply true. There’s no necessity to give equal time to the ‘other side.’ One of these is climate change.” “Journ0lists” trying to decide scientific truth is like fish trying to pedal bicycles.

HHS seeking access to “full Twitter historical data”… for “ongoing monitoring” of public health issues. What “public health” issues are they monitoring? Psychosis-induced failure to kiss Obama’s behind? Hallucinations that progressives are fascists? Public health issues… riiiight.

Obama administration under growing pressure to make an arrest in the Benghazi attack. “…to quash lingering criticism of its response and help clear the road for a possible Hillary Clinton presidential run in 2016.” In other news, YouTube announced an outage due to a rash of users trying to remove films they posted…

Does Obama have any foreign policy successes? Does a bear buy insurance via the healthcare.gov website while crapping in the woods? “Obama hired a Secretary of State who had no relevant experience for the job because he wanted to avoid criticism from her … and because he read in a book that Lincoln surrounded himself with rivals.” Next question.

Feds spending $175,000 to observe “swimming abilities” of fish. “Study will produce a ‘fish swimming video’.” To paraphrase the old song, “Fish gotta swim, birdbrains gotta govern…”

New ObamaCare losers: Public Employees. “Cities, counties, public schools and community colleges around the country have limited or reduced the work hours of part-time employees to avoid having to provide them with health insurance under the Affordable Care Act, state and local officials say.” ObamaCare pi**es into the wind, supporters tell themselves it’s raining.

Michelle Obama: “Young people are knuckleheads,” which is why they need Obamacare. Yeah, she just called the demographic group that most fervently supported her nincompoop husband “knuckleheads.”

Over FCC interest in “story selection”, MSM finally a bit curious about Obama Admin. “Our biggest problem is that the press has voluntarily surrendered its freedoms for the sake of idols and ideologies.” Feet of clay, brains of poop.

MN Dems laugh when asked why Obamacare doesn’t save families money. “I thought the Affordable Care Act would save $2,500 per family,” a constituent asked. “What happened?” Klobuchar and Walz looked at each other sheepishly, before laughing uncomfortably. The joke’s on us, as usual.

Vote turnout tactics won’t sell ObamaCare. “…veterans of the president’s reelection campaign are literally hitting the bricks, going door to door in targeted neighborhoods trying to find new customers one at a time.” Wonder if Mickey Mouse, the Dallas Cowboys and Adolf Hitler have signed up yet?

Union members indicted for burning down Quaker church. “Ironworkers Local 401 [was charged] with allegedly participating in a conspiracy to commit criminal acts of extortion, arson, destruction of property, and assault in order to force construction contractors to hire union ironworkers,” the FBI said in a press release. But MSNBC thinks workers don’t want to join unions because of “racism.”

Subpar: Anti-Obama street art covers Santa Monica. When you’ve lost Santa Monica, you’ve lost…. er… umm… well, Santa Monica.

George Soros more than DOUBLES net worth during Obama years – now at $20 BILLION. The income inequality Obama doesn’t talk about.

Hollywood asks California to cut taxes — for the film industry. The one percent wants a tax cut – fancy that.

The U.S. Middle Class is turning proletarian. “Despite President Obama’s rhetorical devotion to reducing inequality, it has widened significantly under his watch.” Not “despite” – these creeps talk about the middle class (mostly around election time) but when they act, it’s for their own benefit.

Media largely ignores violent Venezuela crackdown on opposition. “Over the past week, Venezuelan protesters have been fighting against corruption in the government, high inflation, and a high murder rate.” You’re probably saying “What’s the big deal, it sounds like any weekday in Chicago?” OK, but if Sec’y of State Ketchup Face said it was caused by Climate Change, betcha the media-ocrities would notice it then.

National clown shortage may be approaching, trade organizations fear. Of course, there’s a shortage, they’re all in government now.

Obama: Signing up for Obamacare is “just part of growing up.” Ummm, and just WTF would YOU know about that, Empty One?

Chicago school suspends 11 year old for voluntarily turning in broken toy gun. Well, that’ll learn ‘im – never give broken toys to skool officials, they want good ones to play with.

1 in 4 Americans unaware that Earth circles Sun. “Ten questions about … science were on the quiz, and the average score – 6.5 correct – was barely a passing grade.” Betcha those 25% watch state-approved media a lot and think the earth revolves around Obama. Or else it’s due to Climate Change.

Tennessee VW workers reject recruitment bid by UAW. “The rejection of a key Democratic Party ally occurred despite President Barack Obama’s personal support for the unionization drive.” “Despite” or perhaps “because of”?

Biden: Be optimistic on state of the nation “in spite of who’s president”. Sounds like Slow Joe thinks “Obama” is a four-letter word.