Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

Holder tells Congress “Lying has to do with your state of mind.” “Well, if you want to have this legal conversation, it all has to do with your state of mind and whether or not you had the requisite intent to come up with something that would be considered perjury or a lie,” Holder said. Or, as the last liar who hired him said, it all depends on what your definition of is is. Hey flaming pants, your chief of staff knew and your boss knew so in which of the 57 states was your mind for you to have the requisite intent not to know?????

Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance. Carrots and zucchini are also on the list of forbidden fruit… er, vegetables. “The unnamed sheikh was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.” Sounds like the sheikh has some issues of his own.

Moore: “Wall Street already has their man and his name is Barack Obama.” Rich, hypocritical propagandist is shocked, shocked he tells you, to find out Obama rakes in lotsa money on Wall St. Mikey, anyone that thought Obama’s campaigns are funded by “little people” with $10 checks is even sillier than someone who thinks you mean all that BS you peddle.

Blagojevich sentenced to 14 yrs, apologizes for corruption but claims he thought what he did was “permissable.” Blago does have a point. To paraphrase the old maxim, when in Chicago, do as the Chicagoans do. Ain’t that right Barry?

Obama now blames The Internet for job losses. “‘If you were a bank teller or a phone operator or a travel agent, you saw many in your profession replaced by ATMs and the internet,’ President Obama said at a campaign event in Kansas.” Possibly the reason for that is the Democrat political circus act hasn’t mandated all sorts of “benefits” like Obamacare coverage for ATMs and the internet yet.

Hollyweird: that Obama thrill up our leg is gone. “He can’t make up his mind about anything,” Mr [Norman] Lear said. “He just vacillates. Like Democrats do generally.” No, they don’t “vacillate”, they lie, because the stuff that makes you Hollywood leftists cough up big bucks is box office poison almost everywhere else.

NAACP petitions UN over “massive voter suppression.” Well yeah, we heard something about that happening in 2008 but AG Eric Holder said there was nothing to it.

Anxious Greeks emptying their bank accounts. Last one to leave Greece, please turn out the lights (assuming any are still lit.)

While giving an economic speech in Osawatomie, Kansas, President Obama said, “It is great to be back in the state of Texas.” [Video at the link.] Or to paraphrase the Wizard of Oz, “TOTUS, I have the feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” We only bring this incident to your attention due to the fact that if one of the GOP candidates said it, you’d see it a few million times on the evening news. But since a Harvard genius Democrat did it, it will be down the memory hole in 5, 4, 3, 2….

Explosion seen as big setback to Iran’s missile program. Gosh, Iran’s had such bad luck with their peaceful weapons of mass destruction program. They’ve endured Stuxnet, fatal accidents to top scientists and now this. You’d think someone didn’t want Iran to be able to launch ballistic missiles with nuclear weapons on them or something.

Jesse Jackson: “Christmas should be a poor people’s holy day.” The Reverend comments on how “non-Christian people use Jesus to lure you into Santa Claus’s birthday party and unless you have the holiday spirit, which is his songs, his wine, and his stuff you’re not welcome at the party of the man whose party it is.” Sounds like he’s been drinking high-octane egg nog spiked with more than a little squirt of opiate of the people, if you catch our drift. And his.

Detroit facing hostile takeover by state of Michigan. Gov. Rick Snyder is reviewing Detroit’s finances, the first step toward a state takeover. If he deems it necessary, he could appoint a manager to run the city who would have
virtually unlimited power to do whatever it took to fix Detroit’s finances. It’s like having a deficit super committee that actually was a deficit super committee.

Obama fundraiser and US Ambassador (to Belgium) blames Israel for Muslim Anti-Semitism. “He [ambassador Gutman] argued that an Israeli-Palestinian peace treaty will significantly diminish Muslim anti-Semitism.” Sure it will. The Palestinians have pretty much said there will only be a “peace” treaty over Israel’s dead body.

Asian-Americans are identifying themselves as white on college admissions forms to circumvent Affirmative Action programs. Liberal math: a 1997 study found that Asian-Americans needed a 1550 SAT to have the same chance of getting into an elite college as white students with a 1410 or black students with an 1100. Something to chew on the next time the idiots in the media tell us someone is a genius because they went to Harvard.

YOU could be fueling the world’s future! In Durham, England, corpses will soon be used to generate electricity. “A crematorium is installing turbines in its burners that will convert waste heat from the combustion of each corpse into as much as 150 kilowatt-hours of juice — enough to power 1,500 televisions for an hour.” Burning our earthly remains so our survivors can watch Obama talk for an hour on TV? Hey! Obamacare, the death panels, the harassment of oil and gas production, it’s all becoming hideously clear now…

TSA stops teen at airport for gun replica on her purse. “Vanessa and her mom said it’s hard to believe anyone could mistake the design on the purse for a real gun because it’s just a few inches in size and it’s hollow, not to mention Vanessa has taken it on planes before.” The brain of the jerk who stopped her is also just a few inches in size and hollow. Nice match.

Occupy SF protesters to open “People’s Reserve Credit Union.” Some folks are about to learn the lessons of banking reality the hard way. The road to economic hell is paved with foolish bankers. Your money may be safer stuffed into one of their mattresses.

Mother says son was suspended for sexual harassment for calling teacher “cute”. According to the mother, the boy didn’t say it to the teacher in question, but made the comment to a classmate and was overheard by a substitute teacher (sounds like there’s basis for an “invasion of privacy” lawsuit there.) Today’s public schools – your kid won’t be able to read or write but he’ll certainly know not to make innocent comments within earshot of Big Brother.

Labor Force and Unemployment Rate Adjusted for Population Growth Since 1948 Show Falling Unemployment Rate is “Statistical Mirage.” It seems for the first time since 1948, the size of the labor force has flat-lined (actually shrunk) for the past 3 years. “Those who think the economy is improving based on the falling unemployment rate are looking at a statistical mirage based on an extremely atypical and prolonged drop in the labor force.” Well, mirages are all they have.

“Eric Holder will no longer be Attorney General of the United States. That-that is – you’ll see that happen soon now. Very soon.” According to the “Insider”, the House Judiciary Committee starting on Dec. 8 will be the “turning point” for Eric the Red. Watch for on-the-record condemnation of Holder from Democrats. We’re hoping his prediction comes true. FYI – you can sign the online petition to impeach Holder here.

Occupy London morphs into “Animal Farm” – anti-capitalist “elite” accused of misusing funds and holding secret meetings in Starbucks. “Some demonstrators accused of becoming ‘elitist’ with too much power… Rising tensions leads to the finance committee stepping down… One member accused of using public donations to fund flights to New York…” No wonder Obama and the Democrat-Media axis found the occupados so appealing. Lizzy Warren plagiarized George Orwell.

Jon Corzine, the former head of bankrupt commodities brokerage firm MF Global, has been subpoenaed to testify about his role in the collapse before a congressional committee. Hey, a greedy fat-cat Wall St. banker is gonna get grilled in front of a congressional committee! Just what Obama and the Democrat-Media complex said should happen. We’ll bet they’re high-fivin’ each other today like it was November 2008 again.

At 623,666 cars, GM’s dealer inventory is an all time absolute record, and represents about 3.5 times the total GM vehicles sold in November! Why make more product than is likely to be sold? Because building the car is what matters to various gubbermint statistics (PMI, CMI, etc.) What GM is really trying to manufacture is the appearance of an economic recovery to aid Dear Leader’s reelect effort. FYI – this is basically how China’s whole economy works, the model so many “smart people” want to bring here.

Obama tells big-money donors “I’m going to need another term to finish the job.” Sure, the patient’s not quite dead yet, right Doc?

Afghan President Hamid Karzai has pardoned a rape victim who was jailed for adultery, after she apparently agreed to marry her attacker. Let’s see now, because she was raped, she was jailed for adultery? And because she’s agreed to marry the rapist, she gets a pardon? Yeah, but her attacker (her cousin’s husband) got sent to the pokey, also. Well, okay then.