Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

Muslim Brotherhood takes Egypt’s elections by storm. Continued electoral success would allow Islamists to give Cairo’s government and constitution an Islamist character and lead Egypt to tilt away from the West towards Iran. “Analysts say Islamists may also seek to annul the 1979 Egypt-Israel Peace Treaty…” Barack the Brain might not only lose more countries than Jimmy Peanuts, but also kill one of the few accomplishments of Carter’s presidency. Obama’s doing for America what the Chicxulub asteroid did for the dinosaurs.

Daniel Hannan tries to explain to some occupados what capitalists really think (as opposed to what the overpaid tenured academics who taught them think we think. Yeah, good luck with that.

Obama tells Jewish donors: “This administration – I try not to pat myself too much on the back – but this administration has done more in terms of the security of the state of Israel than any previous administration.” There are two lies in that sentence and we’re not sure which one is the more outrageous.

Drama in Thailand as Israeli lifeguards save two drowning Iranians. “When we told them we were Israeli they just got up and fled.” You’re welcome.

McDonalds has devised a workaround that appears to comply with Frisco’s “Healthy Meal Incentive Ordinance” – they’ll sell you the Happy Meal and make you pay 10 cents extra for the toy. We’re lovin’ it.

Whotta surprise! The Obama Admin has abruptly sealed court records containing alarming details of how Mexican drug smugglers murdered a U.S. Border patrol agent with a gun connected to Fast and Furious. The most transparent administration in history – their lies and bullsh!t excuses are tissue-paper thin. Otherwise, they’re about as transparent as a brick, make that stone, wall.

It’s “the gridlock alert day of the decade” as President Obama arrives in Manhattan for three fundraisers, coinciding with the annual lighting of the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. And the doofus is coming in at 5pm, just in time to screw up the evening rush hour. Paging Chris Christie… you asked what it is exactly this useless fool does? Here’s your answer.

“Solyndra was just the beginning, we’re going to see a lot of [solar] companies go bankrupt.” Of the few hundred or so solar panel makers worldwide, just 20 to 40 are expected to remain standing in a few years time. Why? Slack demand, oversupply, loss of gubbermint subsidies, things anyone with business experience would’ve predicted. Obama’s magical green economy turns brown…. unexpectedly!

NY Times describes in one headline exactly just how far up its butt its collective head is: “Barney Frank, Moderate”. There was an old joke that went “You can tell you’re drunk when you brush something off your shoulder and it’s the floor.” How do you tell when your moribund newspaper leans far left? You brush something off your right shoulder and it’s Barney Frank.

Obama administration rejects Republican states’ health law waiver requests. Is there anyone who doesn’t get an Obamacare waiver? Sure, and coincidentally they’re states with Republican governors that Obama is has very little chance of carrying next year! Wow, what’re the odds of something like that happening, huh? Why, it’s almost as unlikely as a big donor to Obama’s campaign getting a huge loan from the Dept. of Energy!

Retiring Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) announced on Tuesday his support for the repeal of the Independent Payment Advisory Board, a significant portion of President Obama’s health care overhaul. The IPAB is the “real death panel” in the health care law, according to Rep. Phil Roe (R-TN) who authored the bill to repeal it. Barney Frank, no longer bound by political obligations, does what he thinks is right. Too bad we can’t get people who do that before they retire.

Chris Christie remarks on Obama’s “present” vote in the deficit reduction negotiations: “What the hell are we paying you for?” Obama knew the stupor-committee was doomed to fail and so he didn’t get invovled… “Well, what HAVE you been doing, exactly?” Asking the raaaaacist questions the media can’t be bothered with. BTW, why the hell is anyone paying the MSM, for that matter?

Treasury Sec’y Paulson tipped off hedge funds before 2008 gov’t takeover of Fannie and Freddie. “You just never ever do that as a government regulator — transmit nonpublic market information to market participants,” says a former general counsel at the Federal Home Loan Bank of San Francisco. “There were no legitimate reasons for those disclosures.” Of course, there ARE illegitimate reasons for it… crony capitalism, for one.

Obama in 2006: I “stole” book title “Audacity of Hope” from Rev. Wright, “my pastor”. Wait, we thought Obama was asleep when Wright spoke and never heard a word he said. The video (at the link) was shot in 2006; to paraphrase something another pompous fraud once said, maybe Obama heard Wright before he didn’t hear him or something.

Washington Post’s Aaron Blake tweeted: “Hey Tweeps: Looking for outlandish/incorrect predictions and quotes from Newt Gingrich’s past. Any ideas for me?” Yeah, he said his “stimulus” would hold unemployment under 8%, his health-care “reform” would lower insurance premiums and the deficit, and then there’s “57 states”, “corpse-man”,… oh wait, you said NEWT Gingrich… our error.

NBC’s Gregory: Idea that tax hikes hurt economy “one of the falsehoods that’s peddled in Washington”. Sure, everybody remembers JFK’s tax hikes to stimulate the economy, right? Some of the other falsehoods peddled in Washington: NBC is a news organization and David Gregory is better than an empty chair as host of “Meet the Press.”

Canada to pull out of Kyoto Protocol next month. Danger, exploding green head shrapnel incoming: “Canada will be a pariah globally if it goes through with this.” No, Canada is just acknowledging what everybody already knows, Kyoto is a sham.

Politico: Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) will not run for re-election for a 17th term. He’ll hold a press conference at 1 pm ET to discuss his decision. Probably wants to spend more time with his family or something.

Colin Powell blames media and Tea Party for divisive tone in Washington. Sure, there was NO partisanship in Loonytown before the Tea Party got there. And President A-hole in One, Botox Nancy and the other political circus acts (like OWS) have nothing to do with the “divisive” tone in DC either, right? “Divisive” to the political class means you have an opinion different from the one you’ve been told to have.

Hundreds of enraged Pakistanis have taken to the streets across the country, burning an effigy of President Barack Obama and setting fire to US flags after 24 soldiers died in NATO air strikes. Barack Obama makes us long for the sober competence of the Carter years.

2nd round of “Climategate” emails reveals even the BBC thinks “BBC objectivity” is a joke. BBC’s Alex Kirby to climate “scientist” Phil Jones: “…we are constantly being savaged by the loonies for not giving them any coverage at all…and being the objective impartial (ho ho) BBC that we are, there is an expectation in some quarters that we will every now and then let them say something.” The climategate email hacker is a legitimate 21st century hero.

Occupy Wall Street plans benefit album for itself. Michael Moore is planning to sing(?) The guy putting the disc together said “the goal is to raise between $1 million and $2 million to help fuel the movement that is protesting income disparity.” So now it’s “income disparity” OWS is protesting? And they do that by disrupting the jobs and careers of average people and small businesses? Why not protest air pollution by passing gas at Moore’s mansion? Makes just about as much sense.

A gift idea for all the golf-playing hyper-educated empty suits on your holiday “don’t wanna give ’em anything but I gotta” list. Available at the barackobama.com store for only $15. Gift wrap it in ironic laughter at no extra cost. Hey, Obama’s now a golf tool! (But wasn’t he always?)

Occupy organizers in Indianapolis recruit the homeless to keep protests going. Astro-effing-turf. It’s so hard to find good helpless these days.

In cash-strapped Washington, President Obama’s $1 trillion health care law is presenting a tempting target for lawmakers seeking funds for other projects, as Congress last week raided the health care piggy bank for the third time in less than a year. Just like the social security “lock box”, if you leave a pile of money laying around in Washington DC, some crooks will inevitably come by and swipe it. We call those crooks “representative” and “senator.” The joke is that Obamacare was already underfunded, requiring 10 yrs of taxes to pay for 6 yrs of benefits. At this rate, it may be broke after 6 months.