Author: J.P. Travis

Cash-strapped British Foreign Office spent 10,000 pounds to re-stuff a dead snake. But the bureaucrats defended themselves: “It is quite a bit of money, but he is a very big snake. We will not be constricted, nor will we scale back, in our dedication to preserve this historic national treasure.” Gotta love those Brits – always game for anaconda pun.

UN rep/Princeton prof Richard Falk calls for “world capital” in Istanbul. At first you want to snicker at the notion of putting the world capital in a Muslim country. It’s like a joke – like making East St. Louis the capital of Illinois. But then it dawns on you: “Hey, does that mean they’ll move the United Nations out of New York? Great idea!”

Liberal college lets transgender pervert expose himself to little girls. Evergreen State College in Washington doesn’t just allow the transgender pervert to show his male genitals to girls in the shower and sauna, they apologized for kicking him out of the locker room in the first place. Liberalism: real-time 24/7 reductio ad absurdum.

After 25 years of construction, North Korea might finally finish its new hotel… next year. Maybe. Communists – they needed more than a quarter century to build one hotel and they probably installed rotary phones and tube TVs in every room.

Business Week admits blaming Sandy on global warming is silly… then does it anyway. For evidence, the Bloomberg writer cites an “illuminating tweet” from a professor in Minnesota. Hey, don’t laugh. That’s 140 whole characters.

Saudi wedding guests are shoo-ins for 2012 Darwin Awards. They started firing their guns into the air in celebration, which chopped an electric cable in half, which fell against a metal door, which electrocuted 23 people. These are the people we enrich by refusing to build the Keystone Pipeline.

Hurricane Sandy vs. CNN’s Ali Velshi. You try to be a good person, right? But then you see a dumbass reporter standing in the middle of a hurricane for no ostensible purpose other than ratings and you find yourself wishing for one perfectly-timed well-aimed extra-strong gust…

How bad is the financial crisis in Hungary? They’re going to sell Hungarian citizenship to any foreigner willing to fork over 250,000 euros for Hungarian government bonds. Let’s see: we have approximately 25 million illegal aliens in the U.S., times $322,600 each… hey, why didn’t we think of this? (Flashback.)

Pop quiz: what do Havana and Detroit have in common? Answer: leftwing rule since 1961. Havana was one of the most affluent cities in the world when Castro took control and Detroit was one of the most affluent cities in America when Democrats took control. Now the two cities look alike – that’s Havana above and Detroit below.

Michael Mann claims in court filings that he won a Nobel Prize. He didn’t. He calls himself “a Nobel prize recipient.” He’s not. One wonders whether such a man might have lied about other matters, too.

Lest we forget… that the upcoming presidential election is important, this is a photo of St. Rita’s Catholic Church in Nigeria after being hit by a Muslim suicide bomber yesterday during mass. This is what the heart of Islam looks like. These are the people with whom Barack Obama wants dialogue and the people he ushered into power across North Africa.

THIS is why we hate the media. After propagandizing in favor of Obama for five straight years, the New York Times – surprise, surprise – announced today that everything he’s done is working, anybody else would mess up the wonder of what he’s done, and endorsed him for re-election.

How stupid is the TSA? This stupid: they print your boarding pass with a little number “3” that tells you ahead of time you’re going to be screened. If you don’t want to be screened – like maybe because you’re a terrorist – then simply reprint the boarding pass with a little number “1” and walk right on the plane.

U.N’s Human Rights Council calls for boycott of U.S. companies… that do business in Israel. “The George W. Bush administration refused to participate in the HRC, but President Barack Obama joined it soon after taking office,” says the article.

It’s a woman’s world. An Australian filmmaker arranged for two youngsters to auction their virginities online. The young man got a high bid of $3,000 – the young woman will receive $772,000. Apparently the “War on Women” is over and men lost.

The ties that Biden – Joe’s brother snags $1.5 billion Iraq deal. The founder of the company denies that politics played a factor in winning the deal, but admits the Obama administration played a role and concedes that James Biden provides “access to senior levels of government.” Uh huh.

While California burns, Rally for Nudity participants fiddle. It happened Saturday in San Francisco, naturally. Naked protesters were fighting a proposed law criminalizing nudity, but judging by the bodies on display the city needs this law… no ifs, ands, or butts about it.

More than 50% of foreclosures are now repeats. When Obama took office it was less than 20%. So those expensive government bailout programs aren’t really solving the problem for most people – just delaying the inevitable.

Innovative special forces ready to deal with Islamic terrorism. C’mon, even Muslims have to laugh at this, don’t they?

Huffington Post loonie tune kicked out of Hating Breitbart premiere. Ryan Clayton was apparently screaming during the movie and trying to start a fight. Liberals and the concept of free speech: it’s like fish riding bicyles.

Remarkable unfathomable ignorance of Debbie Wasserman Schultz. She doesn’t know about one of the biggest stories of the Obama presidency. “I have no idea what you’re talking about… I’m happy to answer any serious questions you have,” sneers the DNC chair when asked about Obama’s kill list (35-second mark).

Gallaudet University fires diversity officer for being too diverse. Diversity is fine, apparently, as long you are diverse in a politically correct manner. Signing a petition favoring heterosexual marriage is going way too far.

Whoopi Goldberg pretending to be a journalist… is just embarrassing. She asks Ann Romney how she can be First Lady and talk to “mothers whose children are coming home in bags, you know, from wars,” since “I believe that your religion doesn’t allow you to go fight.” “No, that’s not correct,” replied Ann. Any more questions, numbskull?

Zumba hooker getting a rise out of Kennebunk. Why is it, whenever a prostitution ring is busted, there’s always a politician involved? And what do you bet Zumba classes across the nation are getting an influx of new male members?

John Kerry says he needs an exorcism. We agree. We’ve felt that way since 1971.