Author: J.P. Travis

Baltimore Mayor Catherine Pugh is a thief. But at least she’s a slick thief. Somehow she got the University of Maryland Medical System and the Baltimore school system to buy tens of thousands of her self-published children’s book, Healthy Holly: Fruits Come in Colors Like the Rainbow… most of which are sitting in warehouses where nobody knows what to do with them.

Democrat presidential candidate comes out against circumcision. As if there wasn’t already plenty of nuts running for the Democrat nomination, now we’re gonna be talking about those nuts.

How does CNN stay in business? Fewer than 1 million people actually watch the network, but 90 million households pay $1.00 per month in carriage fees to CNN through their cable bills. That’s how.

Did Bernie Sanders run into Harry Reid’s exercise band? Or did he fall down the stairs like Hillary? Or did he have brain surgery like Joe Biden?

CNN: New Zealand mosque shooting is Trump’s fault. This is the sort of erroneous disinformation and sophomoric analysis that makes intelligent people want to puke when they try to watch CNN. It’s like watching kindergartners pretend to be journalists. And if CNN is the unflushed toilet of TV news, Don Lemon is the biggest turd in the bowl. This accusation came only minutes after the attack.

MSNBC asks Elizabeth Warren to weigh in on the college admissions scandal. This goes so far past irony we need a new word in the English language to describe it. Super-irony? Bizarrerony? Grotesquerony?

Debra Messing tweets picture of vagina cupcakes to honor International Women’s Day… and then apologizes for thoughtlessly excluding the “innumerable beautiful, unique and powerful women who don’t have a vagina.”

Paul Krugman says anti-Semitism from the left is okay. Just when you thought Democrats were done with their week of being dumb about the Jewish issue… here comes Paul Krugman.

Billionaire dies during penis enlargement surgery. Why? He was already a pillar of the community…

Georgia college decides self-driving cars are racist. Because of “algorithmic bias” the cars’ object-detection systems have more trouble seeing dark-complected pedestrians. Especially at night. This No Shit Sherlock moment brought to you by the Georgia Institute of Technology.

What happens if you’re a journalist and you say something negative about George Soros? Well, eight journalists just found out the answer to that question. They were fired.

Wait a minute, she said WHAT? Leana Wen, president of Planned Parenthood, in a tweet about migrant children being separated from their parents, said (and no, this is not a joke), “Forcibly removing a child from their parent or guardian can cause lifelong physical and emotional harm to the child’s well-being.”

Blackface governor’s wife hands out cotton to black students, tells them to imagine what it was like to be slaves. Democrats in Virginia cannot seem to stop stepping on their own… history. Like a TV sitcom, there’s a new episode every week.

Where’s Waldo? Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doesn’t seem to live in the congressional district she represents nor has she opened even a temporary district office there. Desperate constituents have resorted to leaving sticky notes on the door of the condo she claims as a residence–but neighbors say they’ve never seen her and the mailman says mail for the condo piles up for months before anyone shows up to collect it.

Gallup: Liberals outnumber conservatives in only 6 states. And now you know why Democrats always cheat to win elections. Without election fraud, the Democrat Party would be almost as fringe as the Libertarian Party.

Folsom Lake College calls police on cartoon drawing of frog. Spring is just around the corner, you know how we can tell? Because the snowflakes are melting. We would love to hear the recording of that 911 call:

“Hello, we have a crisis out here at the college. Somebody put a cartoon drawing of a frog on one of our bulletin boards.”

“Um, how is that a crisis, ma’am?”

“Well, we’ve heard the frog is a white supremacist.”

“The cartoon drawing? Of a frog? Is a white supremacist?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“Ma’am, are you high on something?”

Ocasio-Cortez thinks New York can now spend the $3 billion in tax breaks Amazon won’t be getting on something else. Seriously, that was not an easy headline to write. This woman is so other-worldly ignorant, encapsulating her stupidity in a headline is almost impossible. They should use her as inspiration to make another Dumb and Dumber movie: Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberest.

Washington Post fact-checker admits Ocasio-Cortez was lying, but… gives her zero Pinocchios. Compare that to when they admitted Trump was telling the truth but gave him a Pinocchio anyway.

Panera Bread tries socialism. Fails. They opened five experimental restaurants where food was offered at a “suggested donation” price. The restaurants did not do well. They especially did not do well in liberal Portland, Oregon, where the restaurant was full of homeless people and students who didn’t pay anything, let alone the “suggested donation.” Gosh, who could’ve seen that happening?

Elizabeth Warren registered with Texas Sate Bar as “American Indian…” in 1986. That’s nine years before she became a Harvard professor, where she has never actually admitted personally claiming to be Native American in order to advance her career. The Texas Bar registration is in her own handwriting and signed by her in blue ink pen.

THIRD in line for Virginia governorship ALSO wore blackface. This is getting ridiculous. They need to just skip all the Democrats in the line of succession and find a Republican for the governor’s office, or just quit. Maybe Virginia should just merge into neighboring states and forget about the whole thing.

The Super Bowl ad that was rejected by CBS. “A spokesman for Nine Line charged that CBS didn’t like the ad’s content.” But of course Nike’s Kaepernick promotion campaign was okay.

Aborted baby parts being sold to make “humanized mice.” Next time you hear somebody waxing passionate about “a woman’s right to choose,” mention this horror story. This is worse than Cruella de Vil–after all, she was only harvesting puppies for profit, not human babies.

Bill Maher makes fried chicken joke to black Republican congressman. According to the Chinese 2019 is the “Year of the Pig” and apparently for liberals that means the “Year of Acting Like Racist Pigs.”

Eww. New Muslim congresscritter from Minnesota was married to her brother. Even creepier: she had a child while she was married to her brother. No word on whether this child refers to them as Uncle Daddy and Aunt Mommy.