Author: J.P. Travis

Brazil starts counting and registering Jews. Here you thought The Boys from Brazil was fiction.

Obama says he still doesn’t have a complete strategy for fighting ISIS. WTF? Nine months after you announced the so-called coalition, you still don’t have a strategy? Then why are you on the golf course every weekend, you insufferable lame-ass butthead?

Undergraduate discovers tubes of plasma in the sky. Admit it, that’s one of the coolest pictures you’ve ever seen. It looks like you could travel back and forth between Australia and China like a bank deposit in a pneumatic tube.

Triple Crown! After 37 years, Thoroughbred horse racing finally has another Triple Crown winner. And American Pharoah didn’t just win the Belmont Stakes today, he made the other horses look like carthorses.

Miss Piggy to be honored with feminist award. First, Hillary Clinton, lifelong apologist for a man who serially abused women, and now, a piggish puppet—the feminists choose strange role models, don’t they?

Dimwitted terrorist took a selfie in front of ISIS headquarters building. Then he posted it to social media. Then the U.S. Air Force leveled the building.

Oh no he didn’t. Whether he hit the ball or not, the mighty (fat) Christie struck out when he donned this baseball uniform.

CAIR leader arrested in child sex sting. When they say “Council on American–Islamic Relations,” maybe we should question what sort of “relations” they mean.

ISIS bans pigeon breeding because you can see their genitals. These perverts people are so desperate for Internet porn they’re staring up at flying bird genitals. C’mon, Google, what happened to your plan to wire the whole planet? Oh, that’s right, never mind.

Indicted FIFA official cites Onion article to prove innocence. This guy is so dumb, he should emigrate to the United States and run for Congress.

Elon Musk: crony capitalist. $4.9 billion in government subsidies and counting. In the old days, people got rich by meeting an economic need. That was the American way. Here in the 21st century, people get rich by shouldering their way up to the public trough and gorging until they’re fat.

Good news for U.S. foreign policy. Kerry fell off his bike and broke his leg. He had to be flown home from Switzerland. So what about the talks with Iran? “The prospect of a lengthy rehabilitation could hamper the nuclear talks and other diplomatic endeavors.” Yippee.

Will Smith’s son wears dress & sneakers to prom. Quick survey: fathers, what would be your reaction if some spoiled-rotten, disrespectful, Hollywood child showed up to take your daughter to her prom dressed like that?

Google’s solar-powered cyber drone crashes during test flight. It’s been a bad week for West Coast tech weenies and their solar-powered pipe dreams.

Man bites dog! According to reports, a pissed-off Christian in Syria beheaded an ISIS jihadist.

Seriously, is this what presidential elections have come to? Is it all about whose comic book is better?

Egyptian TV commentators laugh at and skewer President Obama. After watching this short video, you will naturally wonder why you don’t hear this sort of thing on U.S. television.

The words Scott Walker did not say. Brought to you by another Politico nitwit.

Solar panels on Apple facility catch fire. Technical question: is it still considered green energy when there’s black smoke pouring out?

Kenyan lawyer wants to marry Malia Obama. He’s offered 50 cows, 70 sheep, and 30 goats for Malia, saying he fell in love with her in 2008 (when she was 10) and hasn’t dated anyone since… which might explain all the sheep and goats.

Self-parking Volvo plows into journalists. Where is John Connor when you need him?

The words Ted Cruz did not say. Brought to you by another Hollywood nitwit.

Turns out World Cups in Russia and Qatar were the result of bribes. Another contender for the 2015 No Shit Sherlock award.

You can still buy whatever you want in socialist Venezuela. As long as you have American dollars.

Last week’s timeline of Obama Administration climate change BS

Wednesday: President Obama tells Coast Guard grads that climate change is a national security threat.

Friday: Vice President Biden tells Navy grads they need to be ready to deal with the “devastating effects of climate change.”

Saturday: We learn the CIA is shutting down its projects to study the security implications of climate change.

Andrew Carnegie: “As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.”