Author: J.P. Travis

Obama to free Gitmo terrorist “because he took up yoga.” The Periodic Review Board that makes these decisions was set up by Obama in 2011, with presidential appointees who don’t require congressional confirmation. And he forbids them from considering any information obtained by using “cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment.”

“In the politest terms possible, Abdullah, I ask you whether you have given up on this nasty terrorism business.”

“Oh yes, I am going to do yoga now. And raise bees.”

“Well okay then! We release you!”

Michael Moore involved in bitter divorce. Mostly they’re fighting over their 10,000 square foot vacation home on Torch Lake in northern Michigan, an oversized monstrosity that’s sort of an embarrassment for a liberal climate alarmist like himself. But we’re puzzled about something else: how and why, in 23 years of marriage, did this handsome couple fail to produce children?

Obama official suggests Bergdahl platoon-mates might be psychopaths. Deputy Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs at the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development Brandon Friedman, an appointee (God knows where Obama finds these creeps), thinks that might expalin why Bergdahl was forced to desert and head off to join the Taliban. Poor guy was just trying to escape all those psychopaths, you see?

Gay activist under fire for “transphobic slur.” “What’s that?” you ask. Well, we read the article and we’re still not sure. We’re just enjoying the sight of a gay man being one-upped in the political correctness department.

Just when you think liberals can’t get any more self-destructive and idiotic… 26 members of the New York city council write a letter to Walmart telling the company not to donate to local charities.

Guest at Polish hotel snaps photos of Obama “pumping iron.” And by “pumping iron,” the Daily Mail means holding a five-pound weight in each hand and grimacing like a jack-o’-lantern while he does lunges for his gluteus maximus. Putin is LHAO.

Federal government experimented on premature babies. As part of a controlled experiment on 1,316 babies, oxygen monitors were intentionally altered to provide false readings to hospital caregivers so oxygen levels would not be manually adjusted according to babies’ needs. As a result, those getting high levels developed vision problems and those getting low levels developed brain damage. Some died. That was in 2006. Since then we’ve decided to give these heartless bureaucrats total control of the nation’s healthcare system.

White House caught flat-footed by reaction to Bergdahl trade:

“…it appears the administration believed it would win a PR victory big enough to eclipse any legalistic hand-wringing on Capitol Hill, and whatever objections might surface among the military rank-and-file. A White House official told MailOnline on Monday morning that Obama’s deputies were caught flatfooted by the intensity of public outrage…”

Oh, by the way, the polar bear population count was completely bogus. So that whole Polar-Bears-Are-Threatened-So-We-Must-Fight-Global-Warming stuff, which is being used today by Obama’s EPA to justify killing the coal industry and making electricity rates skyrocket, was utter nonsense from day one.

Bergdahl father’s deleted tweet. No, there’s nothing suspicious about this trade. Nothing at all.

Jay Carney resigns. He says it was because of strain on his family life but more likely he was forced to resign by an ancient mathematical principle: as the number of lies increases, the likelihood that two of them will contradict each other increases exponentially.

The MSNBC apology tape:

Obama suddenly remembers playing football and getting concussions. We finally have an explanation for the Obama presidency: brain damage.

While TV networks talk about melting Antarctic ice causing sea levels to rise… the IPCC’s official report says the Antarctic will continue to add ice and thereby contribute to a lowering of sea level.

Donald Trump offered Obama $50 million for his birth certificate, passport and college records. Right before the 2012 election, he offered the president $5 million, then raised the offer to $50 million – payable to whatever Chicago charity Obama preferred. Not only did Obama ignore The Donald’s offer, so did the media.

HHS quietly stops issuing Obamacare enrollment numbers. Gee, it’s almost like there’s something they don’t want people to know, until after the midterm elections.

Hey, mosquitos have rights, too! In Colorado, the Boulder County Planning Commission decided that nature’s critters have legal rights just like people. Presumably that includes bugs, weeds, bacteria…

John Kerry gets the facts wrong about Nigeria… one day after getting the facts wrong about global warming.

Alternative energy breakthrough. Liberals will fit right in with this crowd, especially the Planned Parenthood crowd.

France buys fleet of new trains that are too fat to fit into stations. Someone tell them Michelle Obama has a school lunch program that will fix this problem.

Paul Ehrlich predicts we will soon be eating our dead. Because of food shortages caused by climate change, overpopulation, and Republicans, of course. Nothing has really changed with this nincompoop who, in 1968, predicted worldwide famine and the collapse of civilization in the 1970s. No stupidity is great enough to discredit a liberal mouthpiece so here he is, 46 years later, a professor at Stanford sucking on the government teat and being interviewed by HuffPo as though he has something worthwhile to say.

Upset victory at Madrid’s prestigious Las Ventas bullfights. The bulls won. After they gored two matadors and tossed a third into the air, organizers cancelled the rest of the evening’s contests.

The chemistry joke that got a high school student suspended. Graduating senior Paris Gray’s yearbook quote was:

“When the going gets tough, just remember to Barium, Carbon, Potassium, Thorium, Astatine, Arsenic, Sulfur, Uranium, Phosphorus.”

After the yearbook was printed and distributed, school officials finally figured out the symbols for those chemicals spell BaCK ThAt AsS UP. Public sentiment is running solidly in her favor and school officials have revoked the punishment.

James O’Keefe dupes Hollywood with phony anti-fracking film. Watch and listen as pusillanimous traitorous Hollywood liberals express willingness to undermine their own country for a share of some Saudi Arabian oil money that is supposedly financing an anti-fracking documentary.

Lefty PBS scientist wants climate skeptic politicians thrown in prison. Lefty PBS host Bill Moyers doesn’t have a problem with that, per se, but warns that it will make the prisons awfully crowded. So it’s really just a problem of logistics. Where’s Heinrich Himmler when you need him, eh Mr. Moyers?