Author: J.P. Travis

Have you watched season four of Game of Thrones? Of course you haven’t – it doesn’t start playing until April 6. But President Obama has, and it’s not the only TV show for which he’s requested advance copies. Apparently the guy has a lot of spare time on his hands.

Progressive group photoshops Republican Greg Abbott out of wheelchair. It’s a miracle! Who knew progressives could do faith healing?

That mummified Detroit-area woman who died in 2008? She voted in 2010. Apparently her vote was handled automatically just like her house payment.

Virgin CEO Richard Branson tells climate skeptics to “get out of our way.” His wisdom on “green” matters is questionable: Virgin invested money in Solyndra… ‘nuf said. Here’s a thought: maybe someone should do an environmental impact study on all that blonde hair dye he uses.

Saudi Arabia declares Muslim Brotherhood “terrorist group.” So even the home of Mecca and birthplace of Osama bin Laden can’t stand these thugs. Meanwhile, Barack Obama did his best to give them Egypt and socializes with them in the White House.

We know about the Irish roots… apparently Obama has Welsh roots, too. Or maybe he just forgot he bet Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper two cases of beer on the U.S.-Canada Olympic hockey games – yeah, maybe that’s why he hasn’t paid up. He has a lot on his mind after all, what with another exhausting vacation trip this weekend.

CBS & ABC haven’t talked to a Global Warming skeptic in almost four years. 1,391 days and 1,383 days respectively, to be exact. Meanwhile, climate alarmists are showcased regularly. (NBC is more balanced – they had a skeptic on The Today Show just 298 days ago.)

From sea to shining sea, kids fleeing Michelle’s school lunch program. And there are long-range consequences, too: “The most damaging result will be a generation of kids who equate healthy food with lousy taste.”

Global Warmists squabble over theology. Things have gotten so bad, Warmists are turning on each other. Obama’s science advisor John Holdren criticized climatologist Roger Pielke for testifying to Congress that extreme weather events have not increased. Pielke fired right back, saying Holdren and Obama are as bad as Bush. Ouch – that’s like the f-word for these guys.

Rachel Maddow knows who to blame for the mess in Ukraine. George W. Bush, of course. She’s a one trick pony.

Study: Green buildings use more energy. Another government mandate that accomplishes nothing.

Prime Minister’s Internet porn advisor arrested for possessing child porn. Maybe this is why Downing Street picked Patrick Rock to advise on the problems of Internet porn – apparently the guy really is an expert.

Matthew McConaughey thanks God after winning Oscar. Hollywood audience stunned into silence.

Obama’s military in action. From an “Army of One” to an “Army of Onanism.” From “Semper Fi” to “Simper Fi.” Air Force: from “Aim High” to “AIDS High.” And the Navy… well, actually, they can stick with “Be Someone Special.” (Yes, that’s an American soldier in drag.)

Darrell Issa: Lois Lerner is testifying Wednesday! – Her lawyer: no she’s not! This is some crazy shit, even for Washington, D.C.

After warning Russia, Obama jokes about nuclear war at fundraiser “happy hour.” Because, dontcha know, the idea that Russia is blind to his brilliance and might ignore his sternly-worded warning is just… humorous.

Computer-generated fake papers are flooding academia. Scientific conferences and publications can’t seem to tell the difference. One of the main instigators of this trend says, “I’m psyched, it’s so great. These papers are so funny, you read them and can’t help but laugh. They are total bullshit.” Now we know how Global Warming got into print.

Another Republican politician without a spine. Jan Brewer vetoed Arizona’s new religious freedom legislation, pretending in her press conference that it was a drastic erasure of gay rights even though all it did was bring Arizona into line with about thirty other states.

Minnesota explosion linked to Al Qaeda. The January explosion, which killed three and hospitalized thirteen others, was in a predominately Somali neighborhood in a building owned by a man officially associated with Islamic terrorists but the local FBI office, without bothering to conduct an investigation, quickly announced that there was “no evidence of terrorist activity.” Then they went back to work… investigating Tea Party groups.

Egyptian Army announces device that cures AIDS. Works on Hepatitis C, too. “I take AIDS from the patient, and feed the patient on AIDS, I give it to him as a kebab skewer to feed on,” said Gen. Dr. Ibrahim Abdel-Atti, presumably speaking metaphorically.

Dirty Jobs’ Mike Rowe under attack by the left, including CBS News. They’re angry because he narrated a Wal-Mart ad in which the company pledges to pump $250 billion into U.S. manufacturers – horrors! – so naturally they started lying and accused him of being a “shill for the oppressors.” Long story short: another reason to like Mike Rowe.

Tokyo bitcoin exchange gone from Internet, owner disappears. Bitcoin enthusiasts are putting on a brave face but this has got to be a blow to alternative currencies. Mt. Gox was the biggest bitcoin exchange in the world and the whole thing is just gone, people’s investments nothing but 1s and 0s swirling around in the digital ether.

Defending their school, New York City students email newspaper. “What do you get of giving false accusations,” wrote a high school junior, “im one of the students that has blended learning I had a course of English and I passed and and it helped a lot you’re a reported your support to get truth information other than starting rumors …” School administrators are so out of touch with how illiterate these kids are, they actually encouraged them to write the newspaper.

Is virtual reality the next hard drug? Video games already cause the brain to release dopamine, just like cocaine. That’s why they’re addictive. When the game makers figure out how to get the whole cocktail of brain chemicals flowing – dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, norepinephrine, anandamide – it’ll be like a “rapid hit of speed, heroin, ecstasy, marijuana, and cocaine” all at once. Then we’ll all be Obama voters.

NYTimes publishes cartoon about killing Global Warming deniers. Apparently, among the high-brow pseudo-intellectuals who still read this faltering rag, that’s considered humour.