Author: J.P. Travis

Obama says, “I would not let my son play pro football.” This guy has a lust for telling other people what to do. Somebody tell the president if he had a son old enough to play pro football, it would be the son’s decision, not his.

It moves! Martian rock crawls into rover’s camera view. Four days after Opportunity, the Mars rover, parked itself to wait for better weather, a “jelly doughnut sized” rock that wasn’t there before is suddenly there. Isn’t this how scary science fiction movies start?

Actress loses role in San Francisco play for endorsing Tea Party candidate. Liberal tolerance and support for freedom of expression from producer Eliana Lopez, who happens to be the wife of prominent Democrat politician and current sheriff, Ross Mirkarimi:

“We really cannot have her in the show, unfortunately. Of course she has the right to say whatever she wants, but we’re in the middle of the Mission. Doing what she is doing is against what we believe.”

Oregon finally found a way to market Obamacare! They’re going to sign up inmates. Which begs the question: haven’t these guys been punished enough?

Brookings Institution studies congressional gridlock, blames Harry Reid. According to the liberal think tank, the problem is not Republicans causing delays by filibustering – it’s Democrats causing delays by bickering and procrastinating at the committee level… where the majority party totally runs the show. So why did Reid trigger the nuclear option again?

Hollywood liberal Harvey Weinstein going after guns and the NRA. On the Howard Stern Show, he said he hates guns and claimed he’s teaming up with Meryl Streep to make a movie that will make the NRA “wish they weren’t alive after I’m done with them” and make gun stocks “crash and burn.” Here’s betting neither of those things happens.

The Wire tracks down the drone that threatened Diane Feinstein. She claimed a “drone” hovered outside the window of her home and was “looking out at me.” Well, gee, turns out the so-called drone was a little pink remote-controlled helicopter (with no camera) that Code Pink protestors fly around at their protests. Another day in Washington, another senator looking like a moron.

Rep. Jim Moran (D-VA) has decided to retire. No more assaults on children, constituents, and priests. No more election fraud. No more vote peddling. No more insider trading and earmark scandals. Yes indeed, the House of Representatives will be losing a real peach of a guy.

Criminology scholars debunk myths about mass murder. Some highlights:

1. Mass shootings are not on the rise – the average number of shootings per year has been 20 for decades (there were 16 in 2013).
2. An assault weapons ban would have no effect – the typical weapon used is a pistol, not an “assault weapon.”
3. Enhanced background checks would have no effect – of 93 mass shootings from 2009 through September 2013, none of the assailants was prohibited by federal law from possessing firearms because of mental illness.
4. Violent video games & movies are not causally linked to mass murder – sorry, much as we’d like to we can’t blame Hollywood.

Finnish magazine publishes truth about Muslim attitude toward dogs. Brouhaha ensues.

Latest moron in the Senate. Cory Booker Tweeted, “half of all students in America are living in poverty” which is so wildly untrue even someone only vaguely aware of the actual state of America wouldn’t believe it. This is who New Jersey sent to Washington. He will be deciding how to spend your money. Something is wrong with our democracy.

Meet the Cruella de Vil of public education. While kindergartners at New York’s Public School 106 fend off rodents in dank old trailer-classrooms, Principal Marcella Sills tools around town in her BMW, seldom bothering to show up for work.

Spanish version of Healthcare.gov written in Spanglish. Apparently government contractors used computer-generated Spanish rather than hiring actual Spanish speakers. The name of the site itself can literally be read “for the caution of health.”

D.C. public school official caught using fake handicapped-parking placard. And here’s the punchline: her job with the school system involves working with disabled students.

Liberal CNN weenie face-to-face with SEAL. It’s like watching a housecat meet a Bengal tiger in the backyard:

“So you’re telling me because we were over there doing what we were told by our country, that it was senseless? And my guys, what? They died for nothing?”

Backtracking [i.e., cold sweating and peeing into his shorts], Tapper said, “No.”

“That’s what you said,” Luttrell fired back. “So, let me just say, it went bad for us over there, but that was our job. That’s what we did. We didn’t complain about it.”

Sperm swap. If this doesn’t legally qualify as rape, they need to rewrite the law.

CNN’s Jeff Zucker peeved at Fox News’ Roger Ailes. In December Ailes was talking about MSNBC no longer being in the news business and then said, “For CNN to also throw in the towel and announce they’re out of the news business is quite interesting.” It’s true – CNN is openly moving to reality shows and documentaries – but Zucker doesn’t like being reminded that CNN lost the ratings war so badly they had to surrender.

NASA spacecraft snaps X-ray photograph of “Hand of God.” Sure, okay, they say it’s just random chance that ejected material from an exploding star looks like a giant hand, but we know a hand when we see one. We just hope whoever lives in that reddish cloud has been living right.

Earliest the Great Lakes have frozen since the 1930s. Coast Guard ice cutters are working overtime trying to keep shipping lanes open. Global Warming strikes again.

Time Magazine blamed the 1974 polar vortex on “global cooling.” Now, forty years later, Time is blaming “global warming.” Same vortex, same cold weather – maybe even the same writers at Time – but different bullshit science story.

Knockout Game video deemed “harassment” by Rochester police. Remember, when the white guy hit a black guy, Eric Holder brought federal hate crime charges. Now here’s a black guy hitting an elderly white woman ON VIDEO… and police won’t even call it assault.

Cheesepocalypse! America is running short of Velveeta just as the Super Bowl approaches. This is the kind of national disaster that puts the whole Global Warming thing into perspective, ya know?

Robert Gates publishes memoir. The book by the former Secretary of Defense is not flattering to Barack Hussein Obama. Highlights: all foreign policy decisions by Obama are based on domestic politics, the Obama White House makes military decisions without consulting the military, and Joe Biden is described as being wrong on “nearly every” foreign policy issue for the last 40 years.

Satanic group unveils drawing of statue they want in Oklahoma capitol. It’s a goat-headed deity named Baphomet giving the official Boy Scouts of America salute with both hands.

Meat pumped up with dirty pond water to increase weight. Guess what country.