Author: J.P. Travis

NBC Nightly News reports on Al-Qaeda takeover of Fallujah, blames Bush. Let’s see, American forces pushed the bad guys out of Fallujah in 2004, when Bush was president, and that’s the way things stayed for the rest of his presidency. Now, five years into the Obama presidency, Al-Qaeda regains control of Fallujah… and Brian Williams decides it must be Bush’s fault.

Finally some good news from the Obama administration. They’ve got a solid grip on the Armenian media situation. The U.S. Agency for International Development has decided to spend $3.35 million improving the quality of media content in that former Soviet republic. Makes you feel good all over, doesn’t it?

Day six as mayor, de Blasio linked to corruption. Turns out his desire to eliminate horse-drawn carriage rides through Central Park might not be about “animal rights” but rather some de Blasio campaign contributors hoping they can develop the land where the stables currently sit.

What if they offered driver licenses to illegals… but nobody could pass the test? In Nevada, illegal aliens are lined up around the block to get the new “driver authorization card,” but once they get inside the DMV most of them can’t pass the written test. Gee, who could’ve predicted that?

Eight million acres of China’s farmland too polluted to farm. And that’s what the notoriously dishonest Chinese government admits. The real problem is probably worse. Bottom line: all farm products from China are suspect.

President ends vacation, leaves Michelle in Hawaii. He says leaving her behind is a birthday present, but a birthday present for whom?

Healthcare.gov can’t handle babies. Or marriages, or divorces, or deaths, or job changes, or any other life change that might affect insurance coverage and premium subsidies. They neglected to add that feature. So just for now, until they get that fixed, nobody change anything, okay?

Patients being turned away from hospitals. So maybe Obamacare will reduce medical costs. If people get sent home without treatment, that’s reducing costs, right?

Palestinian ambassador to Czech Republic killed by his own explosives. If you ask, “Why would an ambassador have explosives in his safe?” you’ve asked a good question but if you ask, “Why would a Palestinian ambassador have explosives in his safe?” the question answers itself.

Now that Obamacare failed to meet its signup goals… the White House says they never had any goals.

U.S. weather report for 2013. 11,852 daily record low temperatures, compared with 10,073 daily record high temperatures. (But Global Warming continues.)

Liberals are born stupid – Q.E.D.

Obama’s pollster has a New Year’s wish. He wishes the media would ignore polling data for 2014 – just not report it. His wish might, possibly, maybe – far-fetched as it may sound – have something to do with the president’s plummeting job approval numbers.

Bloomberg left office at 4:45 PM. New Yorkers should celebrate the tyrant’s departure by hoisting an extra large soda in his name.

Ever wonder what those serial ADA plaintiffs are like? Meet Jon Carpenter, convicted sexual abuser of 8-year-old girls in Utah, now a resident of California. He’s filed more than 1,000 lawsuits under the Americans With Disabilities Act in L.A. County alone, each of them, under California law, generating a minimum of $4,000 in damages for him plus whatever the lawyers get. Now you know.

The happiest people are conservative women. Because they tend to be with conservative men? That’s our guess.

With Phil Robertson re-instated at A&E… MSNBC has responded by getting even more hysterical. Now they’re calling the Robertson family white supremacists. Because when all else fails, the liberal playbook says, “Yell ‘Racist!'”

Dumbest Quote of the Year winner: New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman, for suggesting the solution for Muslim terrorist bombings like the Boston Marathon incident is a carbon tax.

Radical feminists disrupt Christmas mass at German cathedral. “I AM GOD” written in block letters across her naked torso, an activist nutjob from Femen climbed atop the altar in the middle of Wednesday’s service to protest the Vatican stance against abortion. Church members were aghast but did admit it was the best argument in favor of abortion they ever saw.

Rocky Horror wannabe defeats Newark Airport security. The TSA is nothing if not consistent. They spent $300 million on Newark Airport’s perimeter security system but a transvestite parked on a nearby road got miffed with his “date,” climbed over the fence, and walked across two runways wearing women’s red pants before anyone noticed him.

The Mayor Bloomberg legacy: tyranny by bureaucrats. With the new mayor already moving his hammer, sickle, and other personal crap into Gracie Mansion, the health committee Bloomberg empowered to lord over NYC residents is still banning stuff. This time they decided to ban electronic cigarettes, for confusing reasons… as in, they are confused about what they are but banned them anyway.

Eric Holder’s DOJ finally brings hate crime charges for “knockout game.” But the charges are not against any of the hundreds of black thugs who hit white & Asian people. Oh no. They’re charging the one single white guy caught playing the game.

Guess what: fracking saves water. There goes another one of the biggest myths about fracking, that it uses too much water.

Every holiday, something tasteless from Planned Parenthood. This time they changed the lyrics of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” into “The Twelve Days of Contraception.” As you can imagine, it won’t be winning any GRAMMYs.

Talk about a tough city. Remember when they booed Santa Claus at a Philadelphia Eagles game? Well, Washington, D.C. went one step further: they just shot Santa in the back while he was trying to hand out toys. After they hauled Santa off to the hospital, a man in a Grinch suit took over with the toys.