Author: J.P. Travis

Really? More poisonous imports from China? This time it’s jerky treats that have sickened nearly four thousand dogs and cats, killing 580 of them. Add this one to the Chinese drywall that stunk and sickened people in 60,000 houses ten years ago, the 2007 renal failures of 500 pets from contaminated pet food made with wet Chinese wheat gluten… oh hell, who can list all the examples?

Thank you again, Supreme Court. For that 2005 Kelo v. City of New London ruling that allows the use of eminent domain to take land from one private owner and give it to another. Now the city of Seattle is stealing a parking lot from its 103-year-old owner so they can give it to a developer… who will build, among other things, a parking lot.

New French stamp used radical Ukrainian Femen-ist for model. Socialist President François Hollande was so busy trying to make a leftwing political statement, he forgot about the danger of insulting thirty million Frenchwomen: “Are there not enough beautiful and emblematic women in France that we have to import our models from Ukraine?”

Sebelius says Obama didn’t know about Healthcare.gov problems ahead of time. Of course not. He doesn’t even know about the problems afterward.

Obamacare cover-up underway. A spokesman for Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Dakota told a crowd Monday that the Obama administration, earlier that morning, asked them not to publicize how many people have signed up for health insurance through the new online exchange. (The spokesman answered the question anyway: about 14 so far.)

UN climate chief breaks down in tears over Global Warming. Christiana Figueres is upset about future generations condemned to burn in a runaway greenhouse effect… or she stubbed her toe on the way into the BBC interview. Who knows with crazy people? Here’s our question: if Christiana Figueres married John Boehner, would they give birth to crybabies?

White House touts Healthcare.gov success story that wasn’t. This is how desperate they are to find an example of the website working. A New Yorker reporter tweeted that he set up an account “no problem.” The White House immediately ran with it, with even Jay Carney retweeting the fantastic news. 39 minutes later the same reporter tweeted, “Got all the way to the end… and then it hung up trying to submit app.” Just like every other app, in other words.

Obama rounds up 13 human props to shill for Obamacare. Turns out only three of them managed to register at Healthcare.gov, only two of those three actually signed up for coverage (or so they claim), and one person was so embarrassed by the whole situation she fainted. Out of three hundred seventeen million people, this is what they got.

New York drowning in bribes and corruption. And what color is New York politically? Followup question: is anyone anywhere on the planet surprised?

Transgendered folks want free Obamacare mammograms. Yeah, very confusing – “Mammograms of what?” is your first thought. We don’t get it either. More importantly, we can’t believe the bureaucrats wrote 10,535 pages of regulations using 11,588,500 words and somehow this crucial situation got missed.

Kathleen Sebelius tells Congress she’s too busy to testify about Obamacare website. But she had time to fly up to Boston for the inaugural Kennedy forum gala Friday night. Meanwhile, as the Secretary of Health and Human Services parties in Boston, the Obamacare website is down for the weekend for “maintenance.”

Canadian geophysicist calculates greenhouse effect for the first time. His conclusion: the greenhouse effect decreased (from 35.56°C to 35.42°C) between 1980 and 2010 while CO2 emissions were increasing by 70.9%, so any claim that CO2 emissions are enhancing the greenhouse effect is fraudulent.

TV shutdown coverage overwhelmingly blamed Republicans. 62 stories blamed Republicans, zero stories blamed Democrats. Sure, there were 21 stories that ostensibly blamed both parties but we all know how that goes: a quick mention of how Americans are unhappy with both sides, then a quick pivot to how Tea Partiers are idiots, racists, and trolls under the bridge.

Hollywood builds an ark destined to sink. When Jewish and Christian test audiences saw the new Darren Aronofsky film, Noah, they were upset by his leftwing environmental whacko version of the Biblical story. Darren, you see, considers Noah “the first environmentalist,” and turns the story “into an environmentalist screed and animal rights diatribe.” Gee, who saw that coming?

How stupid are Washington, D.C., voters? This stupid: they think the government shutdown is George Bush’s fault.

Oh, I am very weary,
Though tears no longer flow;
My eyes are tired of weeping,
My heart is sick of woe. (Anne Bronte)

Fox News making itself at home on White House grounds. What’s that you say? Not Fox News? Oh, it’s a fox making itself at home! Still, the symbolism is delightful. If nothing else, it’s bound to make You-Know-Who paranoid.

George Soros gets millions in taxpayer funds… to promote his far-left whackadoodle ideas around the world. He’s a billionaire but the rest of us are forced to pony up to help him enjoy his hobby.

Another Obama buddy in trouble. The Orange County, California, DA’s office just raided the offices of Landmark Medical Management, whose president and CEO, Kareem Ahmed, was one of the largest individual financial backers of Obama’s re-election effort.

Libyan prime minister’s kidnapping was caused by Obama leak. If you remember, the Libyan government was acting all offended after we raided al-Qaeda groups (October 4th). So the Obama administration leaked the fact that Libya approved the raid ahead of time, which saved Obama’s face but pissed off the fragile nation’s militants something fierce. But hey, as long as Obama’s Peace Prize isn’t tarnished…

Newark Mayor Cory Booker apparently never lived in Newark. His fake residency is a little more serious than his fake friend T-Bone and other phony stories. This is election fraud.

“Ancient artifact” that master diplomat Barack Obama gave Iran is fake. The federal government knew it was fake because they had previously seized it from an art dealer… for being fake. Then Obama’s State Department gave it to Iran… in exchange for fake offers of peace.

No soup for you! A deaf mom in Virginia got a terse note from her son’s teacher saying home-packed lunches are not allowed without a doctor’s note. When the world of Barack Obama’s Affordable Care Act collides with the world of Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” anti-obesity theories, it creates a freak wave of government oppression.

YOU WILL NOT JOKE! The Borg hive TSA is broadcasting threats of arrest over airport loudspeakers against people who commit the heresy of making jokes about the TSA. By the way, have you heard the TSA’s new slogan? “We handle more junk than eBay.”

Steven Pagones calls out MSNBC’s Al Sharpton. That’s it, shine a light into the MSNBC rathole and watch them scurry.

“I don’t think very highly of MSNBC to begin with. But in spite of that, I was dumbfounded over their decision to hire Sharpton… I can’t help but question the philosophy and honesty of any network or advertiser that can give him access to such a huge audience… I truly do not understand those companies that choose to advertise with Sharpton.”

The enduring image of the Obama administration that cost us $634,320,919. The company that built this website monstrosity, CGI Federal, was contracted to receive $93 million. How that figure grew by 682% while the product being purchased was utterly failing is a mystery, but we’re fairly confident the people at CGI will turn out to be huge donors to the Obama presidential campaign.