We’ve discovered that the real reason nanny state nags like NYC Mayor Bloomberg and First Mama Michelle Obama are obsessed with our diets lately is concern for national security. There’s a good chance that Al Qaeda may have shifted their focus from shoes and underwear to death by cupcakes.
Fox News has the ingredients of a very odd story:
British intelligence agency MI6 and Britain’s Government Communications Headquarters cooked up a cyberattack and hacked into terror group Al Qaeda’s online magazine “Inspire” — replacing bomb-making instructions with cupcake recipes, according to the Daily Telegraph.
When followers of Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula tried to download the 67-page instructions for how to “Make a bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom” by “The AQ Chef,” the terrorists were instead greeted with a web page of recipes for “The Best Cupcakes in America” published by the “Ellen DeGeneres Show,” the newspaper reported.
Terrorists could then learn how to make a mojito cupcake made of white rum cake and draped in vanilla buttercream, instead of making a lethal pipe bomb using sugar.
The inducement to become a TSA crotch-grabber may have just increased exponentially. Besides getting to ogle backscatter X-rays of hot babes, they may now get to eat Ellen DeGeneres’s cupcakes.
We were dying to know if the modern-day Ayers and Dohrns figured out the scam:
The terrorist group was able to reissue the magazine two weeks after the cyberattack and has produced four other issues.
Damn it. Now the only way to get that mojito cupcake recipe is to watch reruns of Ellen DeGeneres. And we’re pretty sure the Supreme Court has already defined that as cruel and unusual punishment.
– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities
Source: Fox News
This post was last modified on June 8, 2011
View Comments (12)
Coming soon from Iran: Yellow Cake Uranium
I am still pissed at Britain for doing this.
For what it's worth, this was a juvenile stunt, and tipped their hand in a big way. While it is funny, it was counterproductive. I think they had a sympathizer in MI6 that wanted it known that they had compromised their servers. I'm not going to say what they should have done, but rest assured, there'd have been a lot more loud bangs coming from the region.
I agree. They should have just tweaked the ingredients enough to render the bombs useless. Or even better, make them explode prematurely while the jihadist wanna-be was still cooking it up in his Mom's kitchen. We could have eliminated a lot of them before somebody figured out that the recipe had been altered. It appears to have been a missed opportunity.
Or, as with grenades, pull the pin, count to fifteen. (Yes, I know, you're supposed to count to ten.)
You better not hang on past a count of 5, you gotta allow for airtime after the throw.
"Kill em off with sugar over dose. They could have redirected the traffic to a porn site."
About the sugar overdose, I don't know, about redirecting the traffic to a porn site, well hell, they're already doing that on their own! Where do you think they're gettiing their ideas about those 72 virgins they think they're headed straight to?
Kill em off with sugar over dose. They could have redirected the traffic to a porn site. That would reduce the number of jihadist for sure.
Don’t tell Michelle that this happened. She will be all over MI6 for causing obesity among the jihadist.
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Redirect the traffic here. http://www.porkbeinspired.com/Index.aspx?pid=google
LOL...Good Shot!
Well that may end up in an unintended consequence. Now all the TSA will have to look for to ID suicide bombers is fat muslims with a hostess twinkie on thier breath and icing residue under thier fingernails. Should save us a lot of groping.
I predict the new Al Qaeda leader will be Ofatta Bin Overladen.
Coming soon from MI6: uploading reruns of "The Benny Hill Show" and Julia Childs' breaded pork cutlets recipe to Al Qaeda's website.