Things we get in our email box. We just pass them along to you.
President Obama has recently appointed a Golf Czar and major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective in May 2011. This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2000 pages) is being rewritten as we speak. Here are a few of the changes.
Rule 237-A: All beer summits will be held at the 19th hole
Golfers with handicaps:
• below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
• between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
• above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.
The term “gimmie” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows:
• handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
• handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
• handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.
In addition, a player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round.
Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par.
Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again. The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term “net score” will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.
This is intended to “re-distribute” the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only “net score” against every other player’s gross score.
These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.
Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility. This is the “right thing to do.”
Like we said, this just showed up in our mailbox. If you know who originally wrote it, let us know so we can give credit where credit is due.
You think he is going to get involved with 14 other women than his wife? Or just try hotel fetchings like his French equivalent, strauss khan?
Not if he knows what's good for him. Moochelle's got that cape buffalo look going on -- if he pulls something like that, his best hope is to lay on ground, play dead.
However, I pity any woman he'd have Dominique-ated -- (the new term for "it wasn't rape-rape --it only involved coercion, force, and unwillingness") -- the full wrath of the US feminists would be all over her.
The First Lady - nausea setting in, hold on... OK, Mrs. Obama - we can call her Mrs. Obama, right? - only gives him access to the suspect cajones when she knows he's going to smoke crack with his old Chicago buddies like Larry Sinclair and that one he had killed, Danny something or other. Like on his last birthday while she took a few friends to Spain or Italy or Amsterdam or wherever that was, she let him take his detachaballs so Larry would have something to do while Barry sparked the straight shooter. Ah, that's the life!
More for the sucky kids... hehehehehe
ROFLMAO.
Out thwacking the chicken coop, I see.
;-)
If this were to happen for real, Obama's next accolade could be the Noballs Prize.
I'd have given that two balls up if IHTM gave us balls. Instead we only get thumbs and they point in opposing directions.
Who cares? Golf is the greatest waste of water and prime property ever known to man.
To play golf you take a stick, hit a little ball, then chase the ball. When you find your ball you hit with a different stick then try to find it again. Over and over, for 18 holes.
Baseball makes much more sense to me. When you hit the little ball someone tries to throw it back to you, you don't have to chase it down to hit it again. You get to use the same stick over and over again. Later in the game you get a chance to hit the little ball without having to find it, someone is going to throw it at you again! Nine innings or 18 holes? Chasing a little ball or having the ball come to you? I'll take baseball any time.
This leaves out the most important rule: all players must let Obama win and pretend that he won on merit, because he is the greatest golfer ever. (Especially important when media types play with him.)
I usually shoot in the '70's; If it gets any warmer I don't play.
Well of course the whole golf "handicap" thing is a "equality of effort" thing to begin with, so lets not go too off-the-beam....
The last time I played golf I hit a 78. We didn't play a second hole - it got too dark.
That's how I play. Ever since, I've broken or bent most of my irons and sold all of my bags and clubs--Golf and I are like this: :-(
I hope none of the super smart twenty somethings that run the White Mosque see this. It just might come to be.
I would love to play a round with Obama & Clinton. I just want to see if either one of these guys can play the game honestly & keep score without "mulligans" & gimmies. However, in Match Play, gimmies, which in would be called a consession in that format, are part of the game.
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You think he is going to get involved with 14 other women than his wife? Or just try hotel fetchings like his French equivalent, strauss khan?
Not if he knows what's good for him. Moochelle's got that cape buffalo look going on -- if he pulls something like that, his best hope is to lay on ground, play dead.
However, I pity any woman he'd have Dominique-ated -- (the new term for "it wasn't rape-rape --it only involved coercion, force, and unwillingness") -- the full wrath of the US feminists would be all over her.
The First Lady - nausea setting in, hold on... OK, Mrs. Obama - we can call her Mrs. Obama, right? - only gives him access to the suspect cajones when she knows he's going to smoke crack with his old Chicago buddies like Larry Sinclair and that one he had killed, Danny something or other. Like on his last birthday while she took a few friends to Spain or Italy or Amsterdam or wherever that was, she let him take his detachaballs so Larry would have something to do while Barry sparked the straight shooter. Ah, that's the life!
More for the sucky kids... hehehehehe
ROFLMAO.
Out thwacking the chicken coop, I see.
;-)
If this were to happen for real, Obama's next accolade could be the Noballs Prize.
I'd have given that two balls up if IHTM gave us balls. Instead we only get thumbs and they point in opposing directions.
Who cares? Golf is the greatest waste of water and prime property ever known to man.
To play golf you take a stick, hit a little ball, then chase the ball. When you find your ball you hit with a different stick then try to find it again. Over and over, for 18 holes.
Baseball makes much more sense to me. When you hit the little ball someone tries to throw it back to you, you don't have to chase it down to hit it again. You get to use the same stick over and over again. Later in the game you get a chance to hit the little ball without having to find it, someone is going to throw it at you again! Nine innings or 18 holes? Chasing a little ball or having the ball come to you? I'll take baseball any time.
This leaves out the most important rule: all players must let Obama win and pretend that he won on merit, because he is the greatest golfer ever. (Especially important when media types play with him.)
I usually shoot in the '70's; If it gets any warmer I don't play.
Well of course the whole golf "handicap" thing is a "equality of effort" thing to begin with, so lets not go too off-the-beam....
The last time I played golf I hit a 78. We didn't play a second hole - it got too dark.
That's how I play. Ever since, I've broken or bent most of my irons and sold all of my bags and clubs--Golf and I are like this: :-(
I hope none of the super smart twenty somethings that run the White Mosque see this. It just might come to be.
I would love to play a round with Obama & Clinton. I just want to see if either one of these guys can play the game honestly & keep score without "mulligans" & gimmies. However, in Match Play, gimmies, which in would be called a consession in that format, are part of the game.