I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Charlie Rangel not paying rent on his NYC office – blames Republicans. “As everyone knows,” explained the deadbeat congressman, whose rent for 2013 remains unpaid, “the GOP sequester not only constrained our nation’s economy, but also strained the budget of congressional offices.”

60 Minutes editor dubs sound of gasoline engine over footage of Tesla. Do you ever wonder if the backroom editing personnel of the major news networks are comprised of nothing but marijuana-smoking high school dropouts?

Vandals target Smart cars in San Francisco. This is the 21st century version of cow tipping.

All-time stock market high rattles investors: Investors should be rattled. There is a bubble. And at some point it has to burst.

The spoiled brats are back! Just like locusts the Fleabaggers are set to descend again. And just like locusts they are interested only in consuming all they did not create leaving waste lands of want and need for a middle class expected to pay for their demands. Demands that include the accumulation of boutique computers, boutique video cameras, boutique cell phones and, sweatshop made name brand protest clothing and coffee so expensive/tasteless that you are most certainly paying for the cup and not what is in it.

The market for common sense. “…two years before his death, Hugo Chavez tried to repeal the law of supply and demand … Chavez despised the law because he believed it robbed the poor and unjustly profited producers.” The fact that nitwits like Chavez and Obama can be elected and re-elected is proof the market for common sense has nearly vanished.

72 big screen TVs go missing after Democratic National Convention. “During a convention it’s not unusual to lose an item or two,” said a representative of LG Electronics, which loaned the Democrats hundreds of televisions for the convention, “but this was a lot.” Rule to live by, LG: lending TVs to Democrats is like lending chickens to a fox.

Bananageddon. A fungus threatens the world’s banana crops, upon which 410 million people rely for a third of their daily calories. That’s the part we find amazing: not that a fungus threatens bananas, but that 410 million people are dependent on those nasty mushy things.

“FaithVoters4Hillary” verified Twitter Account has thousands of fake followers. Maybe she’s running for mayor of Potemkin village.

Yellow Sac spider 2 – Mazda 0. The spider that “just likes the smell of gasoline” keeps ruining Mazda gas tanks, causing a second recall in three years. Hey Mazda, they’re spiders: they must be eating something – obviously you have bugs in your fuel system.

Eich: if you were waiting for the moment when the Cold Civil War actually begins, this might be it. “…any instrument of social coercion big enough to give you everything you want is an instrument big enough to take away everything that you have.” Including your life. Progressivism’s endgame has arrived.

Impending formation of a leftwing media conglomerate. When the Obama supporters at Comcast (largest cable company in the U.S. and owners of the NBC/MSNBC propaganda network) merge with the Obama supporters at Time Warner Cable (second largest cable company in the U.S.), one hardcore liberal corporation will control the communications of more than a third of the American populace. (And the other two thirds isn’t much better.)

Venezuela AG formally charges opposition leader Leopoldo Lopez. Looks like the communists in Venezuela need another public image whitewash. Quick, somebody light the Bat Crazy Signal over Gotham City to alert Jimmy Carter.

This Is Reportedly CBS’ Top Choice to Replace David Letterman. Looks to us like CBS must want to lose a lot of market share.

Mystery poop found on park slides: It appears they delivered the Obamacare enrollment numbers to the wrong place again.

Chris Hayes mansplains a couple of things to a little lady: Oh sure “manly” advice from the guy that thinks automatic first down means your Prius won’t shift below second gear.

It’s a loss in Md: 73K lose insurance; 60K enroll on Exchange. President Stinkburger’s signature “achievement” insures (some of) the uninsured who were insured before he and the Congressclods stuck their dumb statist noses in. Fore!

Lawmakers deserve per diem, says retiring Dem. “There are too many members living and sleeping in their offices and it’s wrong. They can’t afford to live here and it’s wrong.” Yeah, they’re soooo underpaid, wonder how so many end their careers wealthy…

Venezuela decrees “All properties leased for 20 years will be sold to tenants in 60 days at government-set prices”. As long as they’re following the script of Bananas, how ’bout requiring everyone change their underwear every half hour and declaring all children under 16 years old now to be 16 years old?

Venezuela tackles food shortage with ID card system. “Government says system will stop people overbuying groceries for resale – but critics say it’s the first step towards rationing.” Well, that’s what happens when a benevolent socialist country doesn’t have any Koch Brothers.

Americans say 75% of politicians are corrupted, 70% use political power to hurt enemies. ” “It is said that power corrupts, but actually it’s more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.” -David Brin

Obama told service chiefs, “Accept openly gay soldiers or resign.” According to Coast Guard Commandant Adm. Robert Papp, the ultimatum was delivered to them in the Oval Office in 2010. While running for president in 2008, then-Senator Obama said he would never issue such an ultimatum, but hey, that was two years earlier so this is a world record for Obama keeping his word.

Queen gives Pope Francis eggs, whiskey, and beer. Apparently still bitter about the 1982 invasion of the Falklands, the Queen seems to be engaging in a little chemical warfare against the first Argentine Pope. The pontiff’s chambers will be ripe tonight.

Ft. Hood Shooter Ran Free for 15 to 20 Minutes, Stopped by Military Policewoman. 15 to 20 minutes? Ridiculous.! And who’s fault is it that trained military personnel can’t carry weapons on base? Well, this time you CAN blame Bush. Perhaps they should change their motto to “The Great Place to Die.”

FBI seizes Native American, other artifacts at rural Indiana home. Looks like the 4th and 14th Amendments just died some more. Let’s just confiscate this guys stuff and find out if it’s illegal later. So much for due process. Welcome to Amerika.