I HATE THE MEDIA ™

White House to announce $300M in aid Friday to make Detroit safer, erase blight. Talk about throwing money down a rat hole. We predict that the two-legged Demorats in Detroit will chew though this green cheese in record time and no blight will be eliminated. Then they’ll ask for more.

Cruz battle against Obamacare dies in landslide Senate vote. Well, hopefully Obamacare will include free vaccinations for Republicans against RINO Virus. Now we can wait to see of Boehner bends over.

Krokodil, Russia’s rot-your-flesh zombie dope, appears in Phoenix. Think Zombies aren’t real? Think again.

NEIGHBORS PETITION TO STOP BRONZE STAR WINNER FROM BUILDING A HOME IN THEIR AREA, AND YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHY. This guy should get the house, sell it to the local Hell’s Angels chapter and move someplace where he’s wanted. It would be sweet revenge on the pukes in this neighborhood.

Humans to blame for global warming, says landmark UN report. Yes, let’s conveniently use data from 1951 to 2010 that fits our BS. Also, please conveniently ignore the 15 years of no warming and the 19,000 Manhattan’s worth of additional Arctic ice this year. We wonder, is his bad comb-over is caused by global warming or Al Gore giving him noogies?

Where Is the Panic Over Deflation? We can tell you where it is not. It is not at the grocery store. It is not at the gas pump. It is not in our electric bill, water bill, cable bill or any other bill. It is not in our health care costs, the Doctor’s Office, Walmart, Kmart, Costco, Best Buy, the farmers market, the stock market, The Boston Market and of course there is no longer any free market. Yet Jason Wolfers (over at Bloomberg) is telling us that “the U.S. is experiencing deflation” and “Right now, the risk of deflation is greater than the risk of explosive inflation. And the probability of continuing to undershoot the inflation target is far greater than the probability of overshooting it“. Something tells us that when the current Fed inflated market bubble bursts this guy will be among the first to tell us that “no one could have seen it coming”.

News media’s revolving door to Obama White House blurs lines of objectivity: How cute, this reporter thinks there is such a thing a news media objectivity.

Obama Senior Adviser Compares Republicans To Terrorists: Funny, we didn’t know Bill Ayers changed his party affiliation.

President Obama took away Big Bird’s health insurance. Yep, and Bert & Ernie’s, too. Obamacare is even screwing up health care on Sesame Street.

THE RACIALLY-MOTIVATED MASS-SHOOTING THE MEDIA DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT. Shoot whitey and it’s A-OK with the MSM.

Vatican says Pelosi must be denied Communion. Cardinal Raymond Burke, head of the highest court at the Vatican, said because of her “obstinate perseverance in manifest grave sin,” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) must be denied Communion under the law of the Catholic Church. Nice to know the cardinals in Rome are reading JPAttitude.com.

‘Be f*****g presidential’: Samuel L Jackson’s extraordinary rant at Obama for trying to ‘relate’ by dropping his g’s. We wonder what Samuel will have to say about Obama begging the President of Iran for a handshake? Instead of droppin his g’s he’s dropping to his knees.

The snub heard ’round the world. Three times yesterday Obama offered to hook up with Iranian President Hassan Rouhani for a historic handshake in front of cameras and three times Rouhani didn’t show. No word on whether the jilted Obama ripped off his prom dress and threw himself sobbing on the bed.

Going Postal. Well hell, yanno it takes a lot of money to maintain Dianne’s chins.

WHICH LONGTIME GOP SENATOR APPARENTLY ‘F***ING HATES’ TED CRUZ?: Doesn’t matter. We F***ING love him!

Tubby O.J. Simpson is caught stealing COOKIES from prison cafeteria. If the cookies don’t fit, you must acquit!

Yacht race for the ages. After getting penalized two races before the America’s Cup even started, the American team fell behind 8-1 in a contest that only requires 9 wins. Then they tweaked their boat, replaced the tactician, and reeled off 7 straight wins to set up this afternoon’s winner-take-all final. Anybody who hasn’t seen these wild-ass catamarans flying across San Francisco Bay at 50 Mph is really missing the boat (so to speak).

Largest food fraud in U.S. history. A lot of that honey you’ve been eating wasn’t really honey and the counterfeit stuff has been coming from China… of course.

MSNBC’S TOURE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE KENYA IS. Well, how can you expect a guy that can’t find his ass with both hands to know where Kenya is? At least he got the right continent.

Mickey brings the hammer down on disabled people. Because wealthy Manhattan moms were hiring “tour guides” to help them pretend to be disabled so they could skip to the front of lines, Disneyland and Disney World will no longer offer preferential line-cutting for disabled people.

Student suspended (possibly expelled) for shooting toy gun in his own yard. If Obama had a son (he’s even a leftie)…

White House celebrates Bisexual Visibility Day… with a roundtable discussion behind closed doors. Is it just us, or does this administration seem to be scripted by comedy writers?

NY MAG: HILLARY ISSUES ULTIMATUM TO HUMA — LEAVE ANTHONY WEINER, OR YOU’RE HISTORY: Apparently Hillary called Huma onto the carpet. And explained to her that it was a Weiner free zone. (H/T to poppajoe49. Thanks!)

90% of top newspapers leave “Muslim” and “Islam” out of Monday headlines… over front page stories about Muslim terrorists attacking a mall in Kenya and Muslim suicide bombers blowing up a Christian church in Pakistan. Apparently the religion of the perpetrators was deemed irrelevant… and let’s be honest, who knows more about irrelevant than newspapers?

Climate Week NYC celebrates “Ten Days of Climate Action.” Ten days in a week? No wonder climate alarmists get all the science wrong – they can’t count.