I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Weiner loses it over kid’s pee: Weiner shows his ass again. Which is a step in the right direction.

DC income versus the rest of us. Don’t worry about our rulers – they’re doing fine.

“Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy returns to U.S. Armed Forces. This time for Christians.

Romney family adopts baby who happens to be black… sending liberals into paroxysms of hate.

Obama calls Boehner to say he won’t negotiate on debt ceiling. We wonder how that conversation went…

“John, this is Barack Obama. I’m calling to tell you I won’t be negotiating with you on the debt ceiling.”
“So then, uh… why did you bother calling?”
“Well I’m just calling to tell you I won’t be calling.”
“But you already called, right? So this is like the red line in Syria all over again.”
“NO IT’S NOT! NO IT’S NOT!”
“Stop yelling or I’ll tell Putin.”

“All Muslims leave… we only want to kill non-Muslims!” Wake up world, Islam is a plague.

POPSCI: Republicans Block Proposal For National Science Laureate, Fearing Science. As avid readers of this publication it has pained us to watch the new editor steer it away from being a magazine for those enjoying a little light science to being a pulpit for the DNC. But in consideration for our years of fondness for these guys we would like to offer the following advice. If the science goes so will the popularity. And from a look at the comments the exodus has already begun.

Venezuelan government takes over toilet paper factory. Yeah, like that’ll solve the shortage problem. Snicker. Maybe the commies figure if there’s one subject area where government has expertise and experience, it’s crap.

Benghazi Accountability Review Board head parsing words like he’s Bill Clinton. When our admirals sound like mealy-mouthed politicians, we’re in serious trouble. In testimony yesterday, Admiral Mike Mullen said Special Forces were not given a “stand-down order” during the Benghazi siege but they were told to “hold in place.”

California college bars student from handing out copies of Constitution. On Constitution Day. (Best thing about liberals is they write their own punch lines.)

Tunisian women waging sex jihad in Syria. They travel to Syria where they comfort Islamist fighters battling the regime by sleeping with 20 to 100 of them. Then they go home pregnant. It’s called “jihad al-nikah” (sexual holy war) by Muslims but we call it “the oldest profession in the world.”

New Jersey Supreme Court says judge can’t be stand-up comedian, too. The legal establishment thought the second job might “confuse the public and reflect badly on the judiciary.” Isn’t that cute? They think their reflection is good enough to worry about wrecking.

SC REPUBLICANS ISSUE ANOTHER FORMAL REBUKE OF LINDSEY GRAHAM. Rebuke the puke should be the new cry of the RINO Republican Party.

Top climate scientists admit global warming forecasts were wrong: Time to return all the grant money.

UN tells Canada to develop plan to stop violence against aboriginal women. Canada says, “Up yours, UN. We don’t take advice on human rights from places like Iran, Cuba, and Sri Lanka.” (Okay, okay, we’re paraphrasing.)

Obama says raising the debt ceiling doesn’t raise the debt. Then why do it, doofus? If you weren’t looking to borrow more money, why would you need to raise the ceiling? Just how stupid do you think we are?!

Ann Curry dons head scarf to interview Iranian president. Odd how deferential the media gets when they’re working with Muslims. Maybe Ann was afraid the old coot would be overcome with lust if he caught a glimpse of her hair.

Metaphor alert. Obama’s pick for State Department security chief once shot himself in the foot. Literally.

There Could Be a Pot Commercial During Next Year’s Super Bowl. Bud Bowl indeed.

Gun free zones don’t work. Mr. Colion Noir is our posse.

Chris Hayes Unloads on ‘Gun-Free Zones’ Argument: Apparently Chris Hayes does not believe that “good guys with guns” can’t stop “bad guys with guns”. This theory is clearly bore out by the massive number of mass murderers that have been subdued through group hugs and intense dialogues on their feelings.

Mother Jones upset that cops are reading our text messages: Still does’t care that Obama is reading our emails.

Fury after public school demands students go to a mosque or perform an equally controversial alternative assignment: Remember separation of church and state need not apply so long as they are not being sent to a church.

World’s first ‘invisible’ skyscraper planned for South Korea: Perhaps they should consider building this in DC where it can stand as monument to all of Obama’s invisible accomplishments.

Obama: Americans Wrong About Obamacare. Says the man that doesn’t work for you, but expects that you should work for his supporters.