I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Hurricane predictors admit they can’t predict hurricanes. Two top U.S. hurricane forecasters say a look back shows their past 20 years of forecasts had no value. Remember when forecasters predicted an increase in the number of hurricanes due to global warming? No doubt the inability to predict hurricanes is another proof/sign/effect of it.

Tuba or not tuba – that is the thieves’ question: rash of unsolved tuba thefts plagues Southland high schools. Locals say the thefts likely due to Southern Cal’s banda music craze and the price brass instruments fetch on the black market. A music craze that features cheaper instruments, like kazoos, would fix the problem then.

MPAA Head on Online Censorship Bill: China’s the Model. First he helped destroy the economy . . . and now Christopher Dodd is gunning for your Internet! Who could have guessed, when fascism came to the web it was championed by a liberal in the name of greedy Hollywood profits.

Gallup: Fear of big government at near-record level. A big increase in the number Democrats who are wary of big guv: from 32% in 2009 to 48% in 2011. Who coulda guessed raaaaacism is contagious.

Occupy protesters seek to shut West Coast ports. Great, so now the pampered pratts are going to try and starve America into submitting to their demands. Demands that can pretty much be summed up as handouts for these coddled brats that require we producers live far below our means so the greedy Flea Baggers can live far beyond their own. Expect this protest to fizzle out once it is realized -by the Whiney-Whine Percent- that shutting off the ports might make it difficult for them to get new Mac Books or items from LL Beans’s bohemian-bourgeois collection. BTW, we just can’t wait until these OWS types come across some real members of the working class sometimes known as longshoremen.

Bowing President asks Iran to return surveillance drone – Iran sez when Moochelle flies economy. Obama: “We have asked for it back. We’ll see how the Iranians respond.” Like this: “No one returns the symbol of aggression to the party that sought secret and vital intelligence related to the national security of a country.” Well, that was easy.

Delusional Debbie denies unemployment has gone up under Obama. Well, we guess it just depends on what her definition of “up” is. Up hers.

AP con job: headline says “Michelle Obama breaks jumping jacks record” – but it doesn’t mean what you think it means. Headline made us think she herself did a whole lotta jumping jacks, but the story reveals her “record” is for the most people doing jumping jacks in a 24-hour period. In other words, Moochie didn’t do squat besides have her staff send out emails hectoring people to do jumping jacks so she could get herself some cheap publicity. Con job.

‘Republican presidential candidates all scare me’, says Hollywood star Jane Fonda as she hits out at GOP debates. We bet they do! Remember, treason is a federal capitol offense and as such, has no statute of limitations. Hanoi Jane is probably worried we might get a Republican President some day who has the stones to have her arrested, tried and perhaps hung.

Woman convicted of ‘sorcery’ is beheaded in Saudi Arabia. Yes, they’re not only the religion of peace, they still live in the middle ages. It sounds more like she committed fraud, not a death penalty crime in our opinion.

He’s got some cheek! Naked man tackled by police dog ‘after stealing limousine.’ One word – Snausages!

North Korea warns South Korea over lighting of Christmas tree-shaped towers. North Korea delivers its annual holiday reminder: Marxism and sanity don’t mix.

Navy buys biofuel for $16 a gallon. Shades of the $750 hammer. Gotta be PC and make sure Obama’s buddies screw the taxpayers while the screwing is good.

The Real Story behind Durban/COP 17 through Twitter. Read em and don’t weep, laugh. Here’s a teaser: – “they are supposed to be saving the planet and they can’t even run a meeting…”

Preacher tells First Family, congregation: “Many unfairly expected a messiah that could cure the U.S. of all its problems, and now we see it’s not that easy.” Padre, here’s a few rubles, go buy a clue: who was it that raised those unfair expectations? Which candidate’s campaign and the media (ooops, same thing) went around talking about him in messianic terms???? BTW, if you’d have said this in 2008 when it mattered, you woulda been called a raaaaacist. Jerk.

Thieves Haul Steel Rack Of 125 iPads Through BEST BUY Fire Exit: Fire sale.

Media-shy Chelsea Clinton explains her new role as television journalist for one of America’s biggest networks: Sorry Chelsea. The lights not gonna be any better in Obama’s back-pocket than it was in your parent’s shadow.

US proposes unmanned border crossing with Mexico: Ladies and gentlemen we give you the 2012 Obama reelection plan.

MSNBC host and serial tax-increase advocate Al Sharpton owes IRS $2.6 million. “Sharpton drew a $241,732 salary and perks… owes the IRS $2.6 million in income tax, and nearly $900,000 in state tax.” Surprised we not.

A tale of two car problems: the Toyota accelerator problems (later attributed to driver error) produced public hearings and government threats. The Chevy Volt fires produced crickets chirping. “Guess which one has a union that supported Obama’s election and which does not. Guess which one Obama bought equity in with taxpayer money?” Hogwash. It’s like saying Solyndra got a loan ’cause the principal is a big Obama donor or something.

Good news! Obama predicts drop to 8% unemployment by election day! But Barry… didn’t your administration once predict that, thanks to your stimu-fail-us, unemployment would peak at 8%? Is this another Orwellian “Big Brother has raised the chocolate ration” thing? No, of course not, Moochelle would never let us eat chocolate.

Climate conference approves “landmark” deal – for more negotiations. “The 194-party conference agreed to start negotiations on a new accord that would ensure that countries will be legally bound to carry out any pledges they make. It would take effect by 2020 at the latest.” Climate change exists because college educated leftists are above falling for 3-card monte or shell games. But the good thing about it is it keeps idiot diplomats and media-ocrities off the streets and puts them 10,000 miles away in Durban.

CBS poll: Just 41 percent of Americans think Mr. Obama has performed his job well enough to be elected to a second term, whereas 54 percent don’t think so. And most of the 41% think Obama’s job is flying around the world to play golf.

Retirement ages for public employees come under greater scrutiny. After nearly 40 years in public education, Patrick Godwin retired last July at 59 with a lifetime pension paying $174,308 a year . Remember this next time the teachers union is on strike claiming it’s for the kids.

Obama sets off White House metal detector: Guess Larry Sinclair’s crackpipe got left in Barry’s back pocket again. Must have been a tight fit with GE, and almost all of the news media, stuffed in there as well.