Pakistani terror leader accidentally blows himself up. Does he qualify for the $5 million bounty on his head?

qari-zafar-terrorist-bounty

Oopsie! Qari Zafar, a commander of Pakistani militants, has accidentally punched his own one-way ticket to Paradise.

MSNBC reports on Zafar’s Self-Inflicted Virgin Tour 2010:

Pakistani militant commander, Qari Zafar, who was allegedly involved in the attack on the U.S. consulate in Karachi on March 2, 2002, was killed by an explosive in North Waziristan a few days ago.

The United States had announced $5 million award for his capture. Zafar belonged to Lashkar-e-Jhangvi and was wanted by the government for several terrorist attacks in Pakistan, including masterminding the Marriott Hotel bombing.

His close aides confirmed he was killed as he touched some explosives dumped inside his guesthouse. Militant sources said a meeting of Punjabi Taliban was in progress in North Waziristan to choose his replacement.

All you ever hear is “If you die while committing jihad, you go to paradise and get 53 or 72 or 99 virgins (or whatever today’s number is). But we never hear them say “beautiful virgins.”

So we have a question about the whole virgin thing. What happens if you blow yourself up, get to Paradise and find out the reason your 99 virgins are virgins is that they’re so fat, ugly and repulsive that no one wanted them?

Does Allah allow do overs?

H/T: Weasel Zippers

This post was last modified on January 26, 2021

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    • Islam is a religion. No one will argue with that. It spread fast mainly due to terror and wars and because in many countries it is against the law to change from Islam under penalty of death or imprisonment. Michel (?) Jackson was not a muslim for what I understand I have no idea what you are talking about. Mic Tyson (lol) seriously? muslim or not that is not A MODEL that I would refer to if I were you. He is a rapist and a wife beater. Muhammad Ali was a draft dodger, he wasn't perfect so I don't know what you are trying to say. Islam is a good religion because men accused of pedophilia, wife beaters and rapists and boxers were muslims?

      Okay...

      If you don't care if people hate Islam then why are you so hot under the collar for?

    • Islam is indeed a "true religion", perhaps Satan's masterpiece of all world religions. It spreads so fast because it appeals to mans prideful evil nature. Like all the worlds "true religions" it has a list of "religious" acts that must be done in order to be accepted by God, physical acts that appeal to a persons prideful nature ( look how holy I am ! ) For instance, the 5 daily prayers, mandatory alms, making Haj to Mecca, jihad, etc.

      Now add to that an appeal to the darker side of mans prideful nature - murder of unbelievers per allah's demand. Islam is spread by 2 means - word of mouth or militant conquest. That was Mohammeds method. Ride into a town, proclaim the "true message" and kill anyone that didn't accept it and salaam ( submit) to allah. Islamic missionary work can be summed up in the phrase "Salaam or the sword". Hey, I'm not making that up. Allah, through Mohammed, supposedly said it himself. To quote the koran: ‘Prophet, MAKE WAR on the unbelievers and the hypocrites and deal rigorously with them. Hell shall be their home: An evil fate’ (Sura 9:73).
      ‘Believers, MAKE WAR on the infidels who dwell around you…’ (Sura 9:122).

      Note in the Bible the first murder - caused by "religion". The false always hates the genuine. See Genesis 4: 1-8.

      The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob offers a better ( and only) way:

      "The WAGES of sin is death, but the GIFT of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Rom 6:23 ( wages = payment for actions )

      "For we are all as an unclean thing, and all our RIGHTEOUSNESSES are as filthy rags." Isa 64:6 ("religious" acts are worthless.)

      "But to him that WORKS NOT, but believes on him that justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness." Rom 4:5 ( Not works, but simple faith)

      ".. that if you will confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in our heart that God has raised him from the dead, you SHALL be saved. For with the heart mans believing leads to righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made resulting in salvation." Rom 10: 9-10. ( Faith in the One who paid the penalty for mans sins, not prideful self-works.)

      To sum it up, all the "true religions", including Islam, require personal acts ( works) to gain Gods favor. Christianity reveals God as the one who offers pardon based on faith and trust ( not works) in who he is and what he has already done. Different as night and day, yes?

      • We all know, if we're honest, that gods are nothing more than characters in mythology, invented by humans. Religions and the fictitious deities they promote are mostly an invention of cynical people who see a way to achieve the power, wealth and prestige they crave. Scientology is a clearer example than most, having been invented by a science fiction writer who saw a way to make a whole lot more money than he could do from writing novels, but Christianity and Islam and pretty much every other religion is made in the same mould. The idea that a god or gods could actually exist in real life is palpably absurd, and everyone knows it. It's demonstrably true that the most civilised, peaceful and morally progressive places to live on Earth are also the least religious, so the sooner all religions die out, the better off we'll all be.

        • Lord, protect me from the likes of that evil Mother Theresa and the tens of thousands that feed the hungry, clothe the naked and tend the sick in Your Name. After all, a person who chose a name from a mythological genius that refused to listen to his father thereby causing his own demise told me that everybody is an idiot, except those that follow his religion - atheism.

    • No one here hates Islam. We hate the terrorist extremists who kill innocent people in the name of Islam. We would hope that you agree.

    • Actually, my friend, today's growth of Islam was predicted a long time before Mohammed was born. Many of us infidels are not surprised at all.

      BTW, were you educated in America?

  • Hey why you all unbelievers people make jokes on Islam ? you don't know what is this religion ...if you are insearch of REAL God (Allah) so study islam and others religions and you will get the answer what is the real religion of God...study christianity, islam, buddism, etc and then you will get answer ..

    • I have. I did. I am sure many people have. Thanks for the advice.

      Islam is not the answer to the question of salvation.

  • The main part of the story is that this guy (king or whatever) gets married and the day after the wedding night he is bored with his bride so he kills her, then looks for anothe bride. This one girl is telling him stories at night to keep him amused so he won't kill her. Almost all the stories are about sex, infedility (for the man its good for the woman it is death). The two things these guys seem to worship is sex and money. If you get lots of both you are in Allah's good graces...if you don't then you are cursed by Allah. I know these are just stories, but they speak volumns about the customs and belief system.

    • Well in all reality he kills his wives because he is angry and afraid that they will cheat on him like his most adored wife did.

      It was a very violent way to deal with the infidelity of his wife whom he doted on, etc. so yes that I suppose is disturbing and it is true it does speak to the culture.

      However it is interesting that it takes a smart AND brave woman to break that cycle of violence and death, which is interesting within the context of the culture. A woman caused this by being unfaithful, but a woman ended up being the hero in the end.

      • She was unfaithful? Did you note that he had concubines and virgins everywhere? lol The whole book is about sex. These muslims can say what they want to about being more moral, but thinking of women as possesions is slavery, and they are obsessed with sex. And don't get me started on the way the book represents blacks. If this book were written by an Anglo-saxan it would have never made it to the printing press.

        • I don't refute that the muslim world is a world I do not want to live in and I personally thank G-d that I do not live in it. Muslims can be racists, homophobes, mysognists, etc for sure, however uhm... I wonder which frame story are you reading?

          The original frame story usually goes that he does love and dote on his wife, seemingly she is the only one. At the discovery of her infidelity he does execute her* (as King he would view that as treason kind of like with King Henry the VIII and other Kings for that matter), then declares out of anger that all women are unfaithful. He marries virgins then executes them out of anger* because he doesn't want to fall in love and get heartbroken again, until a smart woman VOLUNTEERS herself to be his wife (some frame stories say because there weren't any virgins left in the kingdom OR she volunteers to prevent further murders) and tells him the stories. The stories comes from the woman. As she continues to tell him the stories which are awesome to him, he continues to spare her life for 1001 nights. Then here a lot of versions come into effect. The endings can vary as well however he does not execute her, out of love or out of respect for her intelligence and storytelling ability, or because she ends us being the mother of his children, etc.

          Now I grant you the interwoven stories does have a lot of erotica in play. Some versions they can be considered pornographic, however they are coming from the woman which is interesting don't you think? Since she is a married woman to this guy and she wants to delay her death and stop his madness, it kind of makes sense that she uses sex to do it. LOL I thought to myself she uses oral sex... in this case it was the stories that contained sex and other macho adventures that kept him riveted that instead of murdering her, he wants to know how it all ends. What woman (when she can) doesn't use sex to get something out of a man? At least once? Especially a married woman? Men are visual creatures, who tend to think of sex several times an hour, and they can be easily manipulated through sex. It does speak to the reality of humanity and human relations, I think. The stories are interesting nevertheless, perhaps disturbing I do agree in many cases especially in the issues of sex and violence...

          With that said... have you ever read original NON DISNEYFIED Charles Perrault stories? I mean the little red riding hood gets her grandmother and herself eaten by a wolf just because she spoke to a stranger (the wolf), didn't follow instructions and disobeyed? Harsh and disturbing for sure, especially if you take into consideration that this wolf is a guy and the girl is a virgin and he "devours" her whole (and her grandmother). He doesn't "devour" her in public where he can be seen and chased after, he does it in hiding. He convinces the naive little girl (virgin) to disclose her plans and the location where she will be at where there are no prying eyes. There is a great deal of sexual connations to be taken from this story and others of course be it Perrault stories, the Grimm Bros too, Aesop... so many authors and stories. Of course these stories in may aspects were meant as cautionary tales.

          I guess the main difference between the Arabian Nights and a lot of these westernized fables, fairy tales, etc (non disneyfied mind you) is that one is very explicit with the sex as part of human nature and the other is very implicit.

          Sorry I was a geek for lit growing up. These stories do tells us a lot about the culture, but also about human nature hence the reason for their creation and delivery.

          *Most definetly harsh and I don't necessarily condone the action. It is not right in any way shape or form.

  • While I have not read the Koran, I have read 1001 arabian nights, and found it quite disturbing. I have no idea what the purpose of the writings are. I have heard it was written as childrens storys, but that makes them more disturbing. Anyone know why they were written?

    • I know about Aladdin and of course the main story of the woman etc, but I am not quite sure what you mean. What about them is disturbing?

  • Let me get this straight....

    the radical muslims want to be blown up...
    we have bombs and want to blow them up...
    this should be a win win situation!!

  • I think since he screwed up, the virgins will be fat and ugly...

    Perhaps he should look into something while hes getting down in Allah land, he'll in up with Blue Balls if they screw with him!

    Sad day. Sad day.

  • Nice to see a bunch of retards complimenting themselves, and everyone of them is right - so much of the head retards,Palin and Bush were elected, the last time!

    Keep up the good work

    • WTF? Sills, lay down your crack pipe, your starting to ramble. We're not complimenting ourselves, that was the editor complimenting us. Besides, the biggest compliment any of us can wish for is inciting a moron to lash out at us and publicly remove any doubt that they are an idiot :)

    • I am going to ignore you for three reasons 1) You are obviously a troll 2) Your ignorance is painful to observe - Palin elected? When outside Alaska? 3) Your grammar and writing skills are non-existent and that means you have not made your point, and probably won't in the near future.

      Say good night and go away.

    • Anybody care to translate this? The grammar is so poor, I would hate to make assumptions about what point is trying to be made here.

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