We used to think SEC stood for Security Exchange Commission, but now it’s been revealed may stand for Sex Every Chance.
According to the Christian Science Monitor, “Just when it was beginning to repair its reputation with its high-profile case against Goldman Sachs, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) suffers another major blow: Senior staffers there were surfing Internet pornography – as much as eight hours per day, in one case – when they were supposed to be policing the financial industry.”
Eight hours a day? We like naked women as much as the next government employee, but eight hours a day every day?
The article goes on to say “The investigation found 31 serious offenders over the past two-and-a-half years, 17 of whom were senior SEC officers with salaries ranging from $100,000 to $222,000 per year.”
Now, c’mon, don’t you feel just a little silly for watching porn for free all these years?
Fortunately, the Greatest President and Financial Wizard In History has deemed it time to give organizations like SEC more power and authority.
So now instead of having to surf the Internet, SEC employees can have live nude dancers at work and the guys making the big bucks can hang out in the VIP lounge (no cover charge, two drink minimum).
Lap dances, anyone?
Source: Christian Science Monitor
This post was last modified on April 26, 2010


View Comments (3)
The Obama administration announced today that in an effort to reduce inflamatory language they are renaming SEC bureaucrats Dilbert Dough Boys. Dildos for short.
I'm thinking that this is a really good thing. One of those glass half empty or half full moments. If there are 31 government bureaucrats engaged with watching porn all day that means that there are 31 government bureaucrats not screwing me over... just saying.
It just won't stop!
Save America! Vote Libertarian! At least, we gotta change all the dirty undies that are residing in Washington.
I love I Hate The Media dot Com!