Here’s a story you probably won’t read in the Huffington Post: One of its writers has been arrested for stabbing her roommate girlfriend wife with a screwdriver not once, not twice, but 222 times.
Carol Burger covered the election for the HuffPo. Jessica Kalish, her roommate girlfriend wife, was a South Florida software executive and part-time talk show host.
Here’s how the Miami New Times reports the story:
To outsiders, it seemed they were the embodiment of contemporary domestic bliss: two smart, professional women living in an immaculate house replete with screened-in pool, a cabana bathroom, and plenty of room for their two adopted racing greyhounds. Soon, though, all of South Florida learned the unsettling truth.
The tragic tale continues:
Most of the screwdriver blows landed on Jessica’s neck and on the back of her head, perhaps directed at her new haircut. All told, there were 222 stab wounds. The lacerations were, on average, an inch to an inch-and-a-half deep, and most were shaped like the tiny plus sign on the tip of a Phillips-head screwdriver. The fatal strike was likely a blow to the spinal cord. The struggle — and subsequent overkill — probably lasted about 20 minutes.
To repeat, 222 stab wounds delivered over a 20-minute period.
And yet we wouldn’t be surprised if the defense attorneys portray it as self-defense. We wouldn’t be surprised if the left mounts “Free Burger” rallies. And we wouldn’t be surprised if Gloria Allred finds the TV cameras to announce that Burger is only being charged because she’s a woman.
There are two valuable lessons to be learned from this story:
One – Don’t piss off any writers at the Huffington Post.
Two – When phillips head screwdrivers are outlawed, only outlaws will have phillips head screwdrivers.
Source: Miami New Times
