Sports Illustrated used PhotoShop to remove “natural” beauty’s tattoos

FHM/Sports Illustrated
FHM/Sports Illustrated

For god’s sake, man, is there no morality left in the world? Now Sports Illustrated has admitted that its swimsuit issue actually included models who had been (gasp) enhanced with PhotoShop.

This is such shocking news, such a remarkable revelation, that we must pause to gather our senses about us.

OK, we’re back.

This is truly investigative reporting at its finest. Reporters demanded to know if it were true that tats had been removed from Indy driver Danica Patrick’s lower back. In a real Perry Mason moment, the SI spokesperson ‘fessed up and admitted that, yes, Patrick had been “cleaned up” with a little PhotoShop work. He called it “natural beauty.”

Why, next thing you know, some lunatic will try to tell us that these girls have had boob jobs.

But we’re not buying it. Because we know natural beauty when we see it.

Now that’s what we call a stimulus package

Sometimes we love the media
Sometimes we love the media

The 23-year-old Israeli-born model Bar Refaeli was allegedly slated for last year’s Sports Illustrated cover, but was dropped and replaced by Marisa Miller when Bar couldn’t keep the good news to herself. As Page Six reports: “It’s very secretive, and the magazine likes to keep people guessing.”

Boyfriend and overpaid actor Leonardo DiCaprio has been pushing hard to get his squeeze on the cover. But judging from the photos and video, his effort was unnecessary.

Obama’s stimulus plan has been criticized for not taking effect fast enough. After the obligatory research the IHTM staff must rigorously and dutifully perform, we can report with certainly that the Bar Refaeli package provides instantaneous stimulation.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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