We love Teri Davis Newman. She’s been reading IHateTheMedia.com and leaving pithy comments since about day three.
Teri’s the Republican nominee for Congress in Illinois-12. She’s running against fat-and-happy, 12-term incumbent Democrat Jerry Costello, who hasn’t had a real challenge in god knows how long.
She’s smart, spunky, and not afraid to say what needs to be said even if it’s not the “smart” thing to say. For some unknown reason, she agreed to do IHateTheMedia.com’s first congressional candidate interview.
As you might expect, her answers are better than our questions.
1. If you were a witch, would you be Glenda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz, Samantha from Bewitched or Nancy Pelosi?
Nancy Pelosi isn’t qualified to be a witch. The only magic she’s ever performed is convincing the people of California-8 that she’s not a psychotic Botox-addicted knuckle-dragging vodka-swilling spotted owl-loving liberal. The rest of the country knows better.
2. On gay marriage, would you vote as a typical conservative and be against it, or would you be in favor of it because as a wedding planner it could increase your income?
I’m not one to sell my integrity for money.
3. You can invite any three people – living or dead- to dinner. How do you split the bill and under whose name is the reservation made?
I’ll make the reservation and pay the bill. They’re dead so it’s a cheap date.
4. Beatles or Stones? PC or Mac? Ninja or pirate? Hayak or Keynes?
Stones, PC, Ninja, Hayek
5. Celebrated movie The Graduate is left famously unresolved. In your estimation what happened to characters Benjamin and Elaine after they departed from the bus?
They get married, have 2.3 children. Subsequently they divorce and Elaine takes half of the money he made in “plastic.” Sadly, Benjamin is killed in a prison riot where he was doing time for insider trading.
6. What is the main ingredient in a chicken nugget?
Parts, and as we all know, parts is parts.
7. If only the good die young then how much longer do you expect Helen Thomas to live?
I expect her to be around for the Second Coming.
8. Here’s the situation. You’re in your Congressional office and President Obama calls. He wants you to support TARP III or IV or Mach Six or whatever he’s calling it. Describe your laughter. Is it a guffaw? Or more of a snicker?
What makes you think I’ll give him my phone number? Just because I can’t be trusted with chocolate doesn’t make me easy, you know.
9. Who is your least favorite news anchor?
Living or dead? It’s so hard to tell the difference these days.
10. In exchange for airtime on MSNBC, you have to go on a date with one of its pundits. Which would you choose NOT to go out with: bloviating self-important misogynist Keith Olberman or snarky bull dyke Rachel Maddow? And why?
Even I wouldn’t be seen on MSNBC, but if she gives me chocolate and nylons, I’ll have coffee with Rachel and pretend to like it. It better be some good chocolate!
11. Do you think Sheiks on a Plane is a good name for a Juan Williams movie?
Only if he’s played by Samuel L Jackson
12. Why are liberals against others saying Merry Christmas, but refuse to work on Christmas and accept a Christmas bonus?
There’s no money in the first two.
13. How long would it take you to get at least one of the panelists from The View to walk off the set?
Do I have to make them leave? Can’t I just make them cry?
14. Which is more important for a lady – concealer or a concealed weapons permit? Why?
Why would a woman with a gun need concealer? Would YOU tell her she had dark circles and a zit?
15. How do you feel about passing a version of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” for Congress?
They already have it. It’s called the Ethics Committee.
16. Would you favor passing a law that requires congresspersons to read proposed legislation before voting on it and also requires them to take a quiz after reading it, then base their committee positions, pay and pension on their scores (not graded on a curve)?
Absolutely. It would save the taxpayers a fortune.
17. What are you bitterly clinging to and why?
My beer. It’s not empty yet.
18. At what point do you feel you’ve made enough money?
When my bills are paid.
19. Would you be willing to wear an IHTM t-shirt to your swearing in ceremony?
Of course. It’s cold in January so I’ll have to dress in layers. May I have a pink one please?
20. In exchange for our endorsement, would you name the IHTM staff as your official delegation/ambassador to the Maldives? And can we fly there on Air Force 2?
Would you settle for a ham sandwich and a Metro pass?
We like Teri. We support Teri. We endorse Teri (despite the fact that she answered “Stones” on question number four). She’s not a career politician. She’s not your traditional candidate. And we could use a few more just like her in Congress.
Good luck, Teri. We’ll keep our fingers crossed on Tuesday night as we watch the results roll in.
Check out Teri’s positions on the issues here.
Check out info on Teri’s opponent here.
Donate to Teri’s campaign here.
This post was last modified on January 26, 2021
View Comments (45)
And on top of all the rest of her wonderful attributes, she's a pretty lady too. Don't give up, Teri. We're looking forward to your next campaign.
annnnnnd back On Topic: Teri, your awesomeness knows no bounds. In less than 24 hours Ol Jerr is gonna be scrambling to find another taxpayer teat to pop onto. Prepare the kitteh travel cages, time to give new meaning to the term CONGRESSCRITTERS!
Unfortunately, I didn't win, but I did get FAR more support than anyone predicted. As a complete unknown, I garnered nearly 40% of the vote and that was BY MYSELF with NO staff and NO assistance from the state or federal Republican party. It cost my opponent more than a million bucks to beat me vs. my 30K or so--and now the Republican party has realized that had they gotten on board with me, I would have won. Bad News for Costello is that I now have name recognition and if the Republicans support me in 2012 and I decide to run again, then I should beat the pants off him. I also have 2 years to chew on him, which I will use to my full advantage. I want to thank everyone for their kind words and encouragement and I'll be happy to do another IHTM interview next time around!
Congratulations Mrs., Ms, Miss, whatever is politically correct, Newman. I would vote for you but I live about 1000 miles south and west of Illinois so I would have to register as an illegal alien to vote there.
First thing, don't listen to the critics here because you are right. It has to be the Stones. The Beatles, as great as they are, were little bubble-gum kiddie rockers compared to the Greatest Rock-N-Roll Band of all! Second, never toss your beer can until it is empty! And when you do don't act like a redneck, be a good old boy instead. A "good old boy" throws his/her empty beer cans in the ditch, where they can be picked up by old guys with nothing better to do. A redneck tosses his/her cans into the middle of the road, making it very dangerous for the previously mentioned old guys with nothing better to do.
All kidding aside, if you decide to run again I'll support your campaign. I don't know if Illinois law allows you to accept donations from a citizen of another state or not but if there is a will, there is a way. I would love to see an up front kind of person like you seem to be, butting heads with the liberal, money grubbing, blood sucking, gooberment, big brother, fools that the illegal aliens and welfare patients in New Mexico keep re-electing. Keep us informed and you go lady!!
I will be running again and I appreciate the support. I'm getting ready to revamp my website and I can take donations from any US citizen. I appreciate your support and please feel free to email me at any time!
TeriDavisNewman@aol.com
You got it! Any woman that likes beer and the Rolling Stones is top grade in my book. I'll check out your website later, some of us have to earn our money, and catch up with you later.
Well good for you. I hope that things do turn around for you in 2012!
Thanks for being willing to enter into political service.
Thanks darlin!
You said, "One thing we should remember that Americans have *always* had a sense of humor"
Correction: "One thing we should remember that Americans -- with the exception of the left -- have *always* had a sense of humor"
I don't beleive you're correct. With programs like the Daily show and SNL which are both left leaning, I would say there is more evidence of left leaning humor than right. As a matter of fact didn't Fox News Channel have a weekly show for a while that was suppose to be a conservative version of SNL's "Weekend Update"? As I recall it didn't last very long.
Look, you don't like liberals and democrats and all that, I get it, but making statements that are in direct opposition to reality only makes you look foolish.
Perhaps you mistake sarcasm for humor. Based on the comments on here most of you sound uptight, joyless, and self important. The rest just sound hatefull. And all of you seem poorly educated in matters of politics and economics.
Having shows that are supposed to be funny and having shows that are funny are two different things. I think the difference lies mainly in being able to laugh at yourself. A lot of people on the left seem to be pretty good at dishing it out, not so much at taking it. Not that there aren't some on the right who are thin skinned as well.
FNC actually does have a pretty funny show on late night M-F called "Red Eye," where a panel picks apart the day's news, with a decidedly righty slant. They don't hit on all cylinders every night, but seeing the diametrical opposite of a Bill Maher panel in refreshing all by itself.
I suppose a show being funny or not funny is dependant upon its ratings. SNL has been on the air for quite a while and without looking at the numbers I would guess the Daily Show does well also.
Red Eye is good and Gutfeld is one of the better offerings from FNC. He's personable and funny. Also, Dennis Miller wasn't bad when he hosted SNL's weekend update in the eighties. Well, what time you weren't deciphering his unnecessarily long words and obscure references.
Point is, I don't make ridiculous blanket statements that are easily disprovable. Administrator said that Americans with the exception of the left have always had a sense of humor. Liberal political satire and comedy is far more common in American popular culture than conservative.
So, if a show has good ratings, it's funny? That just means more people watch it. Maybe they like the commercials -- who knows -- they could just as well be some kind of pervert that gets off on watching all the pretty people. However, better ratings mean nothing as a measure of humorous content.
Marketers just just love sheep that think that because something is popular, it is good, therefore, they'll watch it, too.
I don't think SNL has been that funny in like 2 decades. It has its moments, but I swear NBC must keep it on because it's an old horse. I can't see it getting that great of ratings, to be honest.
The daily show? It used to be funny before Jon Stewart started loving himself and his comedy so much. Colbert has never been funny, imho and most of "comedy" central really must be skewed towards two college roomies that smoke weed.
You know, the funniest concept I have for a SNL episode would be to take all the players, get them together, and tell them that due to their being self-absorbed, unfunny asshats with lousy ratings, their show is being cancelled.
The looks on their faces? Priceless.
Me? Howling with laughter. They haven't been funny since Belushi died.
I agree. SNL hasn't been funny in a loooong time!
You guys seem to have a knack for going off on a tangent. I never said I watch SNL so the barb about people watching something being sheep is based on absolutely nothing. I know of SNL just as you know of SNL. It has been on for roughly 30 years or so. I don't know its ratings. I do know that it is a "comedy program" that is left leaning. For whatever reason, it remains popular and supports my argument. Whether you or I think the show is funny is beside the point. Successful liberal leaning comedy proves people on the left have sense of humor. Conversation over. Go split some more hairs if you want to.
:D Who said the left were really Americans? heh.
.....So yah about them Cards! I think they have a good chance this year.
*ignores the conversation going on below*
This interview is ridiculous. We have a serious jobs depression and a deficit spiralling out of control and you're asking a candidate whether they like the Stones or Beatles?
Where does she stand on economic policy? I know that as a conservative she's against Bush and Obama's TARP program, but what does she plan to do? How does she plan to create jobs and balance the budget? Does she think that's possible in the short run? What are her foreign policies?
You call this an interview? Either you think she is too stupid to answer real and meaningful questions, or you are too stupid to formulate them. What a blown opportunity.
One thing we should remember that Americans have *always* had a sense of humor, even in the darkest of times. One thing we need to *not* do in a dark situation is give up our sense of humor - that is almost giving up the American Identity. Our politicians are only human (As Obama has admirably proved) and this is a humorous website. Put the two together and you get a political interview that leans towards 'teh funniez.'
Obviously you didn't catch the parts at the *end* of the interview that linked to her views on various subjects, going directly to her website.
Read the whole article next time before writing a rant.
I see she has answered below - So ask her yourself. Sheez get off the self righteous warhorse while you are at it.
This was an interview done for fun and to entertain. If you want to ask me serious questions, I have serious answers. Please feel free to contact me through my website as all of my contact information is there and you are welcome to ask me anything. I'd be delighted to show you my serious side. America does need new leaders and I do take my work obligations very seriously. I'm a businesswoman who has created jobs and I know what it's going to take to get America back on track to being the greatest country on Earth.
Thank you for the prompt reply. I appreciate that you take the time to respond to every day people. I do have a couple questions that I would like to ask you based on your platform.
1. We have had nearly ten years of trickle-down tax cuts and a couple years of American Recovery and Reinvestment act, but neither appears to be creating many jobs and both have increased the deficit. I know that you are for ending TARP, and the tax cuts will expire in December on their own. The end of these will slow the deficit but what do you plan to do about creating jobs? Would you be willing to freeze all HS1B Visas? Would you work to crack down on employers who hire illegal aliens?
2. You have said that you would work to defund the new health care bill. An honest position in light of those saying they would repeal. Republicans will not have the numbers to repeal and Obama would Veto anyway. While the Democrats may not have the best plan, they are correct when they say that health care costs are spiraling out of control. But if you were to successfully defund the health care bill, what would you do to bring health care costs down?
3. Last, my short term voting goal is to vote Republican in the Senate and House races this week. Long term I plan on voting to re-elect President Obama. I and many others are from a school of thought that says, “If you give either party complete control, the spending and deficits will go up”. This was true for the Democrats in the 80s and the Republicans in the 2000s. I’m not counting the current spending because it is an emergency situation and both parties have played a part. Conversely, when you look at Clinton’s Presidency we had a Congress controlled by Republicans and spending went way down. The deficit froze, we ran budget surpluses, and there were plenty of jobs. In addition, the combination of jobs and the welfare reform act conspired to reduce welfare rolls by roughly 53%. What would you say to people who feel that it is best for America if neither party has complete control?
...so let me get this straight. You think it is worth your time to research the issues and ask prospective congressmen all sorts of relevant, well-thought-out questions in order to get the best possible congress (even the ones not from your district).
However, no matter how good or bad, intelligent, evil, stupid or feckless, vote for the presidential candidate of the opposite political affiliation of Congress' current makeup?
Did you realize, that's exactly how we got into this mess? Nobody considered that if you add a democrat here, there, and everywhere else, they'd give a supermajority to the most corrupt congress in our nation's history (and *that's* saying something) and hand the presidency to the same, so they can pass bills without reading them.
Either you get intelligent about *all* the candidates affecting you, or you are wasting your time investigating only half of them.
Don't call what you try to rationalize here as being a member of a 'school of thought' -- more appropriately, that is a 'school of thoughtlessness', no better than voting straight ticket 'R' or 'D'.
As to what do I say to people of your ilk? First off, your assumption is that neither party has America's best interests at heart, and cannot be brought under control. Therefore, you've just given up on holding them accountable. If you aren't going to investigate *all* the candidates, and hold *all* of them accountable, instead voting for a deadlocked government so it can do the least damage, stay home on the first tuesday in November -- you're part of the problem.
I never stated that neither party has Americas best interest at heart. I do feel that Republicans have some good social issues (not all, I could really care less if two gay people get married, not going to the wedding anyway). But Republicans (for the most part) are bad on economic issues. As for the Dems, they know how to run an economy, but are bad for setting up hand outs or what you would call "entitlement programs". So usually I vote for Republicans who are closer to Dems on fiscal matters and Dems who are closer to Reps on social issues. When and if that's possible. That's why I asked Mrs. Newman primarily economic policy questions. If she were a Dem I would have asked how she felt about repealing Affirmative Action or Social Security reform.
In the case of both parties, it has been my experience as an American that when one side or the other has complete control they spend recklessly. Fact of life we need to accept. Until and unless the Tea Party or some other gains enough ground to caucus among themselves there will be no significant change in this phenomena.
And as for voting for Obama, I don't think he's all that bad. Yes he's made mis-steps but what President hasn't. Reagan himself said that he felt duped by the "supply siders" with Trickle-down", which Bush senior called "voodoo economics". Obama has done some good things too. Yes he spent wildly on recovery but there was really no choice once the banks failed, and that happened before he was there. He did put a spending freeze on almost every social program across the board for the next two years. This means no raise to Social Security or Welfare or any of the multitude of social programs. Even if it was a concession to Republicans so be it. It works to our benefit. Give him a Republican controled congress and he'll have to make more concessions. Meanwhile neither side will be blowing through my tax dollars like Bob Saget at a coke party.
Look, you're trying to simplify and catagorize my reason and logic. As long as you measure me against the weight of your own malice you'll fail.
I'm not now, nor have I ever been about party labels. Both parties are filled with corrupt politicians that are enriching themselves at the expense of honest hard-working American taxpayers. Even worse, they are selling out our beloved country and that enrages me which is why I stepped up to run. I'm an American first, a Conservative second and a Republican because I checked a box on a form a couple of decades ago when they were still a conservative party. I'd rather have run as an Independent but getting 25,000 signatures on a petition in 90 days to get on the ballot is virtually impossible. Today's Tea Party groups are what Republicans used to be, Republicans are what Democrats used to be and Democrats are Communists. Once you accept that premise, everything falls into place.
Correction: Democrat spending in the 70s
A classy answer. I could not do that -- I'd have started in with the 4 letter words on the first sentence. Linguistically, if I were to run for office, my key constituents would be sailors, longshoremen, and oil rig workers.
Wishing you success on the 2nd!
Me too, go out & win tomorrow. Good Luck.
If I'm not incorrect, there IS a link above to a page about her stands on the issues. Maybe SoberVoter isn't sober enough to have seen that.
SV, you have apparently confused IHTM with the Daily Show. This site doesn't presume to think that it is in the business of breaking news or making news. It hasn't reached the point where it believes its own press clippings (or blog entries) enough to view itself as a news source. Like a lot of topical humor entities, whatever the medium, it primarily goes for the laugh; like most of them, some of the jokes fall flat.
I thought this was pretty funny. Since I don't live in Illinois, I wouldn't know Teri if she fell on me. I can't vote for her, and can't imagine anyone would use this battery of questions and answers to decide who they would vote for. But considering the criteria some people use to endorse or discredit candidates -- skin color, weight, school, accent, and so forth -- why is rock band preference any less consequential?
For the record, if those are my choices, I'll go Beatles, but The Who ought to get some love.
I think it is an insult to the Rolling Stones to mention them in a sentence with the beatles. (notice I didn't capitalize beatles).
Comparing the beatles to the Stones is like comparing kid rock to Luciano Pavarotti!
Simply GREAT answers! GOOD LUCK! Keep your humor once you get to D.C. - you'll need it even more...
Wow IHTM! Excellent interview, and an excellent candidate. I hope she wins. WE will have to leave California, and Illinois just entered "considerable" status.
Vote Often, Democrats do!
Love No. 17. I just sent her a donation... uh, dollars, not beer.
She is awesome and I wish her the best.
Wish Illinois had duel citizen ship...she would have our vote!