Hawaii’s new Democrat Governor Neil Abercrombie promised to find President Barack Obama’s birth certificate so that we, as a nation, could put to rest, once and for all, rumors that that he is not a U.S. citizen and therefore, fit – and “fit,” to be sure, is to be taken very loosely in any case – to serve as the Commander in Chief.
But now comes the shocking – totally shocking – news that Governor has been unable to locate that pesky original birth certificate.
Wherever could it be?
There has to be a logical explanation, right?
Well, IHateTheMedia.com to the rescue.
We’re offering Governor Abercrombie the top ten places he should look for the document.
10. It might be under the unicorn feeder, not too far from the magic money printing press that Ben Bernanke uses.
9. The certificate may have been sacrificed to the volcano gods to ensure good luck. After two years of the Obama administration, it obviously didn’t work.
8. Check under Obama’s copy of the Koran signed by Ayatollah Khomeini. The one that reads: “To Barry. Good luck on the whole Manchurian thing. Kho-money.”
7. Perhaps it’s under a stack of promises to close Gitmo.
6. May be tucked in the pages of well-annotated Community Organizing for Dummies book.
5. Have you looked in George Soros’ command bunker? Check under those stacks of Chinese yuan and the deed to Obama’s soul.
4. May have accidentally passed it out as a syllabus during short stint as Harvard lecturer.
3. Pawned for crack in 90s.
2. Hillary Clinton may have it tucked in her jock strap.
1. Kenya
– Written by Sven Waring at DotPenn.com
This post was last modified on October 18, 2023
View Comments (32)
Have they checked Sandy Berger's Shorts...but tell em to use gloves as I have heard he is rather sloppy....lololololol
under the rock, he crawled out from 'under'.
Sandy Berger has it.
He probably does!
Its buried next to Jimmy Hoffa
I don't think it has a thing to do with him being born in Hawaii, I believe he was.
What he may really be hiding is that his mother may have checked caucasion on his race....think about what that changes!
Or religion is checked as muslim.
Well, for one thing, it would change a lot of those HopeyChangey bumper stickers...
Vote Caucasian Persuasion 2012
We have about a dozen articles relating to Obama's birth certificate, including info on his social security number and other info. Here's a page with all of them listed:
https://www.ihatethemedia.com/tag/obama-birth-certificate
If you're interested in this subject, you might want to social bookmark it or link it in your blog or social media page, as it will always be updated with the latest stories. (Plus, doing that helps our search engine ranking for people searching for this info -- moves it up the page in Google. Hint. Hint.)
Wait, wait wait. I got it! Hawaii became the nation's 50th state on August 21, 1959. Barack Obama's birth certificate shows he was actually born August 4, 1959 (not 1961). Hey--it's just as good as those other theories!!!
If they can't show the actual birth certificate, then how about just releasing the Birth Certificate Number?
That way, everyone born in Hawaii, on that exact day, can check their own Birth Certificate Numbers to make sure that there is no conflict ...
(IE: to be sure that no one "accidentally" has the same number as BHO).
Could it possibly be that any Birth Certificate Number released by BHO would have to match the date and time for that number, falling in the correct numbered order with the persons that were born just before and just after him?
Could it be that ANY official number released by BHO, which would have to be in the correct number range for that date of birth, would in fact also be held by someone else who was also born in Hawaii on that date?
If so, then could this be the exact reason that why they can NEVER allow any birth certificate to ever be released, knowing that someone from Hawaii will surely step foward with a real State Issued Birth Certificate, declaring that he is using their Birth Certificate Number, and engaging in Identity Theft as well as fraud?
GREAT post!
We might add this idea: the delay in finding the birth certificate stems from the delay in creating a credible counterfeit. Heh.
Wondered when you guys at IHTM would catch on to this story... been laughing our butts off in Hawaii now for a couple of weeks. Funny how it keeps showing up in the UK press, but not in the U.S. media.
I am surprised it hasn't been on Fox...
me too