editor

Hmmm. It all makes sense now, doesn’t it? If you’ve ever wondered about the strange relationship between John McCain and Lindsey Graham, just think about Mr. Burns and Smithers on The Simpsons. Animated homoerotica at its finest and funniest. Any other questions?

mccain graham homoerotic

burns smithers homoerotic

(If this story looks familiar to any of our regular readers, it’s because it first ran on July 11, 2010. But it just seems appropriate to run it again today.)

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This Obama fellow is vaguely reminiscent of someone else. I just can’t think of who it is. Please allow us to help.

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Singer claims tapeworm infected brain. My first guess was either Cher or Barbra Streisand. Nope, it’s an Aussie named Jay Whalley who fronts a band called Frenzal Rhomb. Of course, that’s not to say Cher’s and Babs’ brains haven’t been infected by tapeworms. It would explain a lot.

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Hey, put a burka on that doll, Abdul. Al-Qaida in Yemen put together a completely serious, completely hilarious list of tips for surviving American drones. Tip #18 is “Formation of fake gatherings such as using dolls and statutes (sic) to be placed outside false ditches to mislead the enemy.” They also suggest hiding under a tree. Good luck finding a tree in Yemen, Hakeem.

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Obama repeals immutable law. In last night’s State of the Union address President Obama said, “We’ll bring down costs by changing the way our government pays for Medicare, because our medical bills shouldn’t be based on the number of tests ordered or days spent in the hospital – they should be based on the quality of care that our seniors receive.” In other words, time is no longer money, which should surprise no one because in this administration even money is no longer money.

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Tony Bennett would like assault weapons eliminated. Yeah, we’ll we’d like bad toupees eliminated. We have a little difficulty taking seriously a man who wears a dead raccoon on his head. Sing, Tony. Otherwise shut the hell up.

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God bless the Joffrey Ballet. Today I flew from Los Angeles to Chicago for a business meeting. The Joffrey Ballet company was on the same flight. Thank you, God, for ballerinas. I have never seen such a remarkable collection of great asses in my life. Yes, I know this has absolutely nothing to do with hating the media, but it has everything to do with loving incredibly tight, shapely derrieres the Arts. And now back to your regular programming.

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Leading Democrat: “I still have some lingering effects from falling on my head.” You may be surprised to learn that it wasn’t Joe Biden talking.

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Hmmmm. Government very interested in 3D printed guns. Think of it as an inverse relationship: As the cost of 3D printers is plummeting, the government’s interest in the printing of guns is skyrocketing. (By the way, if you don’t know about this incredible new technology, check out not just this article but all the others at 3DPrinter.net.) It’s un-freakin’-believable.

defcad models

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Things my friends send me, Part II. They say all humor must based in truth. (Note: Don’t know the source of this one, either, but congratulations to whoever came up with it.)

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Things my friends send me, Part I. I wish I could give someone credit, but who knows where this stuff comes from. Thanks, Dave P.

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Liberal hypocrisy explained in two posters. I’ve been putting together a list of liberal contradictions, but Big Fur Hat, one of the resident crazies over at IOwnTheWorld.com, beat me to it with these beauties. He’s also a far better art director than I, but we have neither room nor time to discuss all my inadequacies. Use the comments section to list your contributions to the list of liberal contradictions.

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Obama swaps pro-American dictator for anti-American, radical Muslim dictator. Think of it as the worst trade since Boston sent Babe Ruth to the Yankees. New Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi yesterday issued sweeping decrees that make him the country’s first pharaoh in several thousands years. Former President Hosni Mubarak was unavailable for comment.

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Laugh out loud hilarious: Driving in Russia. Mrs Editor and I have recently been discussing our wild-assed fantasy about taking the Trans-Siberian Express from Moscow to Beijing. Based on this video, the train has to be safer than the streets. It’s 5:30 a.m. and I’m posting this story from Starbucks and all the other patrons are giving me strange looks because I’m laughing out loud as I watch this video. Do yourself a favor: Don’t watch it in public or people will give you strange looks, too.

http://youtu.be/AXz4P6EpX3s

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Was Diane Sawyer drunk during last night’s election coverage? It sure looks and sounds like she was three sheets to the wind. But what the hell, I’m drunk this morning so who am I to pick on her?

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Dimwitted Democrat defeats lying, scumbag Republican. This is an update on the voting dilemma faced by the Editor and the Administrator. It wasn’t even close in our Congressional district. Lois Capps, the dimwitted liberal defeated the lying, corrupt, scumbag Republican Abel Maldonado. A pox on both their houses. Thanks for all your advice. In case you’re wondering, Mrs Editor voted for the dimwit and I voted for the scumbag so that neither of them gained anything.

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Vote for Obama, get a free government cell phone. Our democracy is doomed. Can’t wait to see what the folks over at FreeGovernmentCellPhones.net have to say about this one. Think they’ll be as horrified as we are? UPDATE: Looks like the free government cell phone website got the story up even faster than IHTM and the good news is that even they hated this offensive scam.

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What’s your advice for the Editor and the Administrator? We’re baffled. Our current Representative is Lois Capps, one of the most dimwitted liberals to ever plop her ass down in the hallowed halls of Congress. We routinely vote against her every two years. Unfortunately, this year she’s running against Abel Maldonado, one of the sleaziest, most self-serving, most dishonest Republicans to ever darken California’s state legislature. Do we vote for the honest, stupid liberal? The lying, self-serving Republican? Or do we just sit this one out?

What’s your opinion?

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The end of the road for electric cars. Say sayonara to the whole electric car fiasco. Toyota is pulling the plug on electric car production and it’s vice chairman said, “The current capabilities of electric vehicles do not meet society’s needs, whether it may be the distance the cars run, or the costs, or how it takes a long time to charge.” The company anticipates sales of a mere 2600 units in the United States over the next three years. Hey, what was the name of that moron IHTM reader who tried to convince everyone that the future of the auto industry was electric?

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This Romney commercial will break your heart. This one’s a tearjerker. We don’t know how anyone could watch it and still vote for the Kenyan. Do us a favor – email it to one of your boneheaded liberal friends.

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Madeleine Albright flips out, screams at “Disgusting Serbs!” Hate to sound like a broken record today, but can you imagine the uproar, the headlines, the urgent bulletins, the 24 hour a day, 7 day a week news reports if a Republican former Secretary of State – say Condoleezza Rice, for example – were to erupt in public and scream something as inflammatory as “Disgusting Serbs”?

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Rush Limbaugh tells Obama supporter to kill himself. What’s that? You say it wasn’t Rush telling a liberal to kill himself, but instead, a lib talk show host telling a gay Romney supporter to kill himself. Well, that’s an entirely different kettle of fish, isn’t it. Instead of frothing at the mouth liberal outrage and indignant screams of “Hate crime”, we have the sound of crickets.

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We don’t doubt the intensity of the storm, just the integrity of the reporters. When you see images of the horrible damage done by Hurricane Sandy, remember this clip from the Today Show back in 2007. Skip to the 3:00 mark to see how the reporter faked the impact of that storm. That being said, our thoughts are with everyone in the path of Sandy. Be safe.

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Cool illusion on the streets of IHTM’s hometown. Yeah, life is good here in San Luis Obispo, California. We have magician Rich Ferguson freaking people out in Bubble Gum Alley and hot college girls wearing scanty clothing in October. We don’t know Ferguson, but we’d like to. We’d also like to know the hot college girls, but at this point in our lives they react to us very much like they react to Ferguson. That is, they scream and run off.

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Joe Biden is a big fan of Tom Kaine. And an even bigger fan of stupidity. Biden may be just one step this side of the Presidency, but he’s a couple steps that side of sheer stupidity. Here he is repeatedly praising Tom Kaine. Just one problem: The current United States Senate candidate from Virginia, a Democrat, is named Tim Kaine. As Biden might say, “Why I’m even dumber than Don Quayle.”

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