Bono performs his tribute to Elvis Presley exclusively for IHateTheMedia.com

Bono, the tax-evading frontman for Irish rockers U2, unveiled an odd ode to Elvis Presley on Great Britain’s Radio 4 this morning. It’s a 14-minute long…uh…poem.

If anything, it proves that U2’s music must be even better than anyone ever realized, because it had to compensate for Bono’s absurd lyrics.

The poem is titled American David. It’s a melange of odd, seemingly insulting rhymes loosely set to a music track. It also contains numerous words and phrases that many will consider offensive, such as “white nigger” and “spastic” and “shit.”

The Times UK describes it like this:

One rhyming triplet played on the singer’s long weight battle: “Elvis the bumper stickers/ Elvis the white knickers/ Elvis the white nigger ate at Burger King and just kept getting bigger.”

Another took aim at his iconic dance move: “Elvis the ecstatic/ Elvis the plastic/ Elvis the elastic with a spastic dance that could explain the energy of America.”

But other lines told of the U2 singer’s admiration, as he called the late pin-up “pharoah-like”, a “genius” and a “psalmist”.

Pardon us if we seem presumptuous, but we’d like to contribute our own lyrics:

He died on the toilet/ Covered with his own sweat/ Don’t be upset but don’t forget, closet thing America ever had to a king

Hey, it might not be great, but it’s no worse than that crap Bono’s wrote.

When do the royalties start rolling in?

Source: Times UK