Tag: poetry

Now that Republicans have killed off cowboy poets, they’re going after mimes and accordion players

Rep. Jeff Flake questioned NEA Chairman Rocco Landesman over a number of grants, including those to an international accordion festival and to the San Francisco Mime Troupe.

We really wish video was available of this clip, but if it’s out there, we can’t find it. Pity because this sounds like a classic.

Republican Congressman Jeff Flake went after Rocco Landesman, Chairman of the National Endowment of the Arts, about federal money given to San Francisco mimes and to an international accordion festival.

jeff-flake
Renowned mimes everywhere speak out against Jeff Flake. Oh, wait. They're mimes. Guess they won't be speaking out.

The Hill squeezes out the details of the accordion story:

“Those just kind of grants lend themselves to ridicule,” said Rep. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) at a House Appropriations subcommittee hearing. “These are a bit tough to justify…how can we justify these types of grants?”

Flake questioned NEA Chairman Rocco Landesman over a number of grants, including those to an international accordion festival and to the San Francisco Mime Troupe. Making grants like these “feeds the cynicism out there about everything we do,” Flake said.

Landesman responded that many of the programs that win NEA support could not exist without the help.

“The marketplace shouldn’t be the sole determinant of what is allowed to flourish,” Landesman said, adding that the renowned San Francisco Mime Troupe would likely not be able to survive solely on ticket sales.

No, of course, not. Some nameless, faceless bureaucrat with an overinflated sense of his artistic judgment should make that decision, Rocco.

Flake said he will do anything it takes to kill funding for the accordion festival, a statement that prompted Rep. Jose Serrano (D-N.Y.) to say that Flake will be getting hate mail from Polish folk musicians.

“The renowned San Francisco Mime Troupe”? We had no idea any mime troupe was renowned, but now that we know there’s one in San Francisco we shudder at the thought of the things they may mime.

UPDATE: We just found this video clip of the renowned San Francisco Mime Troupe and now we know why the Democrats want to fund them. The troupe performs a skit called Red State in which they make fun of Middle America and the group’s set appropriately features a red star. That being said, the clip does reveal why the renowned San Francisco Mime Troupe is so renowned – it is apparently the world’s most talkative mime group.

Source: The Hill

Lawrence O’Donnell demonstrates the left’s version of “fair and balanced”

Which cable news network is truly fair and balanced – Fox or MSNBC – was proven once again when the story was President Obama’s invitation to rapper Common for the White House Poetry Night.

Which cable news network is truly fair and balanced – Fox or MSNBC – was proven once again last Wednesday night (in other words, it was just like every other night of the week). The day’s top story was President Obama’s invitation to rapper Common to participate in Poetry Night at the White House.

On Fox, O’Reilly brought on not one but two liberal radio talk show hosts to present the leftist point of view. MSNBC’s Larry “The Cable News Guy” O’Donnell brought on one liberal to parrot his talking points.

Might this be why the latest ratings reveal The Factor more than triples The Last Word’s number of viewers?

While attacking Republicans for speaking out against the invitation, O’Donnell singled out the line, “Tell the law my Uzi weighs a ton” as the reason for the Republican’s objection.

Larry purposely, conveniently omitted what Republicans made very clear as their objection: lyrics about burning President Bush, and defending cop killer Joanne Chesimard.

The straw man that O’Donnell and his guest offered as substitute? Racism. Being MSNBC, would you expect anything else?

Shamelessly substituting lies for truth with phony righteous indignation: Larry O’Donnell – a proud graduate of the Edward R. Olbermann School of Yellow Journalism.

– Written by Sonny Palermo

Harry Smith throws his panties and room key at Al Gore

In this video clip, Al Gore reads his awful global warming poem and Harry Smith does everything but invite Gore back to his dressing room after the show.

In this video clip, Al Gore reads his awful global warming poem and Harry Smith does everything but invite Gore back to his dressing room after the show.

Painful though it may be, please watch all the way to the end so you don’t miss Smith’s gushing overe the global warming fraud:

Smith: Wow. I’m so glad you read that. I was, really, I’m very happy…
Gore: Thanks for asking me.
Smith: I’m happy to hear it in your voice.
Gore: Well, thank you.

C’mon, Harry, that poem would get a “C” in a junior college English class. (Which, of course, would be better than any grade Gore ever got in college).

Can you imagine how quickly Smith would have laughed at this poem if Sarah Palin had written it?

Quite honestly, though, we’re not surprised that Smith prefers Gore. The former vice president is twice the woman Palin will ever be.

Source: NewsBusters.org

Al Gore gives dramatic reading of his global warming poem. In the hallway at CNN.

Today in a hallway at CNN, Al Gore read his global warming poem from his climate change book, Our Choice.

C’mon, a guy’s gotta dream. Today a hallway at CNN. Tomorrow a nationwide tour with Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas as his opening act.

Consider Gore’s poetic efforts an ode to all things doughy, white and pompous.

Good lord, people, how can not understand that this guy is a complete blowhard?

Source: CNN

Hmmm. Al Gore’s new global warming poem sounds suspiciously like the worst song ever written

And that brings us to Al Gore’s brilliant new poem, Our Choice, which bears a striking resemblence to “A Horse.” Same themes, same images, same style. Which, of course, is completely understandable since Al Gore bears a striking resemblance to the rear end of a horse.

Of course, we realize that “worst song ever written” is subjective. But almost every “worst song” list ever compiled contains America’s “A Horse With No Name” because of its insipid, meaningless lyrics.

And that brings us to Al Gore’s brilliant new poem, Our Choice, which bears a striking resemblence to “A Horse.” Same themes, same images, same style. Which, of course, is completely understandable since Al Gore bears a striking resemblance to the rear end of a horse.

Nevertheless, Gore’s acolytes at Vanity Fair raved about the poem:

“The result is a surprisingly accomplished, nuanced piece of writing. The images Gore conjures in his (untitled) poem turn a neat trick: they are visually specific and emotionally arresting even as they are scientifically accurate.”

Decide for yourself. Listen to “A Horse With No Name” while you read the poem. Six of one, half dozen of another.

“Our Choice”


One thin September soon 

A floating continent disappears 

In midnight sun

Vapors rise as 

Fever settles on an acid sea

Neptune’s bones dissolve

Snow glides from the mountain 

Ice fathers floods for a season 

A hard rain comes quickly

Then dirt is parched 

Kindling is placed in the forest 

For the lightning’s celebration

Unknown creatures 

Take their leave, unmourned 

Horsemen ready their stirrups

Passion seeks heroes and friends

The bell of the city 

On the hill is rung

The shepherd cries 

The hour of choosing has arrived 

Here are your tools

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

OK, we lifted the la-la part at the end from “A Horse With No Name.” But only because it seemed to fit.

Source: Vanity Fair

Top 10 Obama administration limericks

Thumbs up for the winners of IHateTheMedia.com's "Limericks for the Next 1,361 Days" contest! Great work.
Thumbs up for the winners of IHateTheMedia.com's "Limericks for the Next 1,361 Days" contest! Great work.

Congratulations to the winners of our “Limericks for the Next 1,361 Days” contest. And thanks to everyone who submitted limericks, but didn’t win.

If was a very tough decision, because there were so many really great entries. We finally narrowed it down to 17 finalists and argued back-and-forth for hours before coming up with the final Top 10.

Here, without further delay and in no particular order, are the “Top 10 Limericks for the Next 1,361 Days.”

Submitted by Miss TC Shore
A mandate the Dems thought he’d get

More liberal than center, you bet

But we never knew

How badly He’d do

While piling up trillions in debt

Submitted by Media hater
Our president knows how to parse

Golden words into nebulous farce

But he makes the crowds swoon

And sing along with his tune

‘Cuz the media kisses his arse.

Submitted by JohnGalt4Prez
If there’s one thing Obama knows

It’s that Gitmo prison must close.

But the only hitch

In making this pitch

Is where do we lock up our foes?

Submitted by ocmadam
The Dems have made it their mission

To stamp out all opposition

They loudly proclaim

It’s Bush you should blame!
Let’s have us a full inquisition.

Submitted by Al
We all know that he was the One

The man with the post partisan pun

But congressional leaders

Turned true disbelievers

When he told them: It’s my way. “I won.”

Submitted by Eddie Po’
If Biden was from Nantucket

He’d carry his hair in a bucket

He’d trap in his pail

Each strand that did fail

Instead he got plugs and said ‘what the hay!’

Submitted by surfdt
He promised us change and we got it

Though not quite the way that we thought it

To his left he owes debt

To his right, deep regret

And our kids will be broke cause we bought it.

Submitted by Doug from Upland
Around the TV we all gather

We’re watching nonsensical blather

They’re in bed with Barack

It is all such a crock

I think I am missing Dan Rather

Submitted by HenriettaHughes
There once was a man named Obama

Who climbed out the vagine of his Mama

Hawaii or Kenya?

We’ll n’er know cuz Whenya

Ask all about it, there’s drama!

Submitted by rddionne
I’d like to hear from Barack

What he’d do in case of attack

No pandering words

For placating herds

I just want to know he’d fight back

And finally, here’s one honorable mention. It doesn’t get a prize, but it got a big laugh from all of us here at IHateTheMedia.com:

Submitted by Ed Coyne
There once was a man from Nantucket

OBAMA SUCKS!
(Sorry, I’ve just never been good at rhyming)

Bono performs his tribute to Elvis Presley exclusively for IHateTheMedia.com

Bono, the tax-evading frontman for Irish rockers U2, unveiled an odd ode to Elvis Presley on Great Britain’s Radio 4 this morning. It’s a 14-minute long…uh…poem.

If anything, it proves that U2’s music must be even better than anyone ever realized, because it had to compensate for Bono’s absurd lyrics.

The poem is titled American David. It’s a melange of odd, seemingly insulting rhymes loosely set to a music track. It also contains numerous words and phrases that many will consider offensive, such as “white nigger” and “spastic” and “shit.”

The Times UK describes it like this:

One rhyming triplet played on the singer’s long weight battle: “Elvis the bumper stickers/ Elvis the white knickers/ Elvis the white nigger ate at Burger King and just kept getting bigger.”

Another took aim at his iconic dance move: “Elvis the ecstatic/ Elvis the plastic/ Elvis the elastic with a spastic dance that could explain the energy of America.”

But other lines told of the U2 singer’s admiration, as he called the late pin-up “pharoah-like”, a “genius” and a “psalmist”.

Pardon us if we seem presumptuous, but we’d like to contribute our own lyrics:

He died on the toilet/ Covered with his own sweat/ Don’t be upset but don’t forget, closet thing America ever had to a king

Hey, it might not be great, but it’s no worse than that crap Bono’s wrote.

When do the royalties start rolling in?

Source: Times UK

“Limericks for the Next 1,361 Days” Contest

The winners have been announced in the article Top 10 Obama Administration limericks.



1,361 days to go. In the immortal words of Edgar Allen Poe, "Nevermore."
1,361 days to go. In the immortal words of Edgar Allen Poe, "Nevermore."

We read the Huffington Post every day just looking for classic stuff like this: a website called, “Starting Today: Poems for the First 100 Days.”

The website says, “The day before the inauguration we sent out a call to poets we admire to write poems that respond, however loosely, to the presidency, the nation, the government or the current political climate. More than one hundred American poets responded immediately. The first 100 poets were each assigned one of President Obama’s first hundred days in office, and each will write a poem reflecting on the state of the nation and the world on that day. A new poem is posted every day.” Continue reading ““Limericks for the Next 1,361 Days” Contest”

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