Fred Thompson’s Top 10 Funniest Tweets

Turns out former Republican senator and presidential candidate Fred Thompson has taken to Twitter in a big way. If brevity is the soul of wit, Thompson is the king of the 140-character commentary.

Here are our ten favorites:

1. Hillary in Kiev, Ukraine: prosperity should be “equally spread”. No – doesn’t work. That’s why you didn’t speak in Kiev, USSR.
2. Jimmy Buffet: oil spill Bush’s fault. Why trust his opinion? He can’t even keep track of a shaker of salt.
3. Justice Kennedy: won’t retire while Obama in office. So we’re safe, barring accident, illness, or Rolling Stone interview.
4. 43% of swine flu vaccine unused & to be destroyed. Sounds bad, but will look like model of efficiency after ObamaCare kicks in.
5. 10,000-year-old hunting weapon found near Yellowstone National Park. Next to it was a 10,000 year old Democrat trying to ban it.
6. Chris Matthews:fix recession like we fixed Great Depression. So…keep spending like crazy & wait for Japan to bomb Peal Harbor?
7. During Biden speech, GE exec collapsed on stage. When that happens, best to just stay calm & check the victim for snoring.
8. From Blago trial: Oprah considered for Obama seat. Ridiculous! I’ve been in the Senate. Jerry Springer’s the man for the job.
9. Census workers caught faking 10,000 forms. At least now we’ll have people to fill Obama’s fake stimulus jobs.
10. Obama: coming budget cuts will give people “difficult choices”. Thought we already got that with “buy insurance or go to jail”?

H/T: Los Angeles Times

Twitter/fredthompson