I HATE THE MEDIA ™

NASA Will Pay You to Eat Astronaut Food for 4 Months. A nice enough idea. But who is going to commit to this when EBT cards let you do the same thing indefinitely.

Cops: Dad hit son for not watching Obama Somehow it wasn’t enough that Jr had his future mortgaged to pay for Obama’s re-election. Now he has to suffer through his teleprompter readings too.

Chicago Woman Gives Up Facebook For Lent. Meh, we’d rather give up Obamanomics.

Obama gives another sweetheart deal to his cronies at GE. There’s no need for Kansas City Southern railroad (KSU) to go to capital markets for financing when it can tap the U.S. government for a “sweetheart deal” for 30 new GE locomotives. “This is not an industrial policy. It’s crony capitalism of the very worst kind.” Also a big wet kiss to GE for buying Volts.

Geithner: rich need to pay more taxes for “privilege of being an American.” Translation:we gotta raise taxes ’cause Obama’s gonna lose the election if we try to cut spending. Timmy oughta know better than anyone that raising taxes doesn’t mean you’re gonna get more revenue ’cause wealthy people find ways to avoid taxes, such as hitting the wrong key on Turbo Tax or docking their yachts in low tax states.

Nevada legalizes self-driving cars. Starting on March 1st. This technology could lead to countries that drive themselves into the ground, which would allow Obama to spend all his time golfing.

UK Minister praises plan to heat swimming pool from fires of crematorium. The board said your illness really isn’t untreatable, it’s just that the pool has been kinda chilly recently.

It’s Official: February Declared California Beer Month. California finally does something right.

Video: Why gas prices are so high (hint: it’s not the evil oil companies). To paraphrase: Let’s rob Exxon to pay Solyndra, then blame big oil for high gas prices.

Students Physically Attacked for Interrupting Israel Talk in New Mexico. About time someone kicked the asses of the asses who think the First Amendment only applies if they agree with what is being said. We say: Encore! Encore!

http://youtu.be/QaYIYa54CSA

 

Eliot Spitzer Dipping a Toe Back in Politics. Wasn’t there a problem last time he was dipping something?

Steven Chu’s Europe gas quote haunts President Obama. “Somehow,” Chu said, “we have to figure out how to boost the price of gasoline to the levels in Europe.” We hope this statement gives Obama gas of a different kind.

Ode on a Grecian burn: bureaucracy-crazy Greece requires enteprenuers to provide chest X-rays and stool samples to open an online store! It’s not that Greece is bankrupt, the amazing thing is that it didn’t go bankrupt long ago. Coming soon to an Obamaland near you?

Italian physicists can’t decide whether neutrinos travelled faster than light. They ran into three problems with their measurements: one, because of relativity the damn neutrinos keep arriving before they left; two, the Greek holding the stopwatch keeps going on break; and three, Obama made them use neutrinos made out of algae.

Gas prices too high? Don’t worry, Obama has a new idea: ALGAE! “You’ve got a bunch of algae out here,” Obama said at the University of Miami today. “If we can figure out how to make energy out of that, we’ll be doing alright. Believe it or not, we could replace up to 17 percent of the oil we import for transportation with this fuel that we can grow right here in America.”

Bonuses given after raises at Solyndra. How many kid’s have to have their future’s bankrupted so that Obama can buy himself another election?

Michelle Obama’s pitch: Share the wealth. Obviously the Imelda Marxist isn’t referring to all the “rich people” that her husband has shared our wealth with already. Not that she’s all that worried with us anyway. Not just so long as we’ve enough left over to pay for her $300.00 tennis shoes, lobster dinners and the millions upon millions that she racks up in vacation expenses.

John Edwards’ sex tape suit settled. Silky Pony is, no doubt, relieved to be saved from the embarrassment this could have caused.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cUNNKzj_Nc

‘Lunch-In’ Protests Crackdown on Homemade Lunches. Don’t let Janet Napalmitano hear about this. She’ll be wanting to install the TSA in the local schools in order to make a clear example out of all those little free thinkers that fail to comply.

GE “Forcing” Employees Into Chevy Volts. Free Market solution: Make something the public wants at a fair price or go out of business. Obammunist solution: Take money from the tax payers and buy yourself a car company. Force that company to build a car that nobody wants. Have your friends at another company -that you gave billions more in tax funds to- buy the cars that nobody wants and force their employees to drive them. Reward yourself with another vacation.

Putin praises Cold War moles for stealing U.S. nuclear secrets. Crypto Soviet strongman inadvertently reminds us all that stealing from the people isn’t always enough for the communist state . . . sometimes it must steal from other countries as well.

HALF of Americans don’t pay income tax despite crippling government debt. Hear that Flea Baggers, so why aren’t you out there asking them to pitch in their fair share? Oh that’s right . . . because you’re part of the tax eater segment that is living off the forced charity of those that actually have to do something for a living.

Taxpayers Foot Legal Bills for Fannie and Freddie Execs. Einstein was wrong. When it comes to screwing the tax-payers out of money, perpetual motion does indeed exist.

Poll: Carter 63%, Reagan 32%. That’s what one poll said in January 1980 and we know how that worked out. Just a reminder: don’t get bummed out by polls showing Obama ahead of everybody by a few points. Early national polls are about as successful as a gubbermint-funded solar panel business. The only poll that matters is on November 6.

“The pitchforks will come out” if DC doesn’t change, “American Gridlock” author says. Woody Brock is calling for a return to real capitalism instead of the crony-phony crapitalism of today. Hey, Obama once said he was the only thing holding off the pitchforks, so that means he’s for obstructing real change, doesn’t it? Well, actions do speak louder than words….