I HATE THE MEDIA ™

China claims it has successfully curbed ‘excessive entertainment’ on TV. Big deal. MSNBC did that years ago. They also successfully dealt with the pesky issue of “excessive truth” by giving Rachel Maddow and Ed Schultz a job.

LA Times: satirical image of Michelle Obama based on Versailles painting is raaaaacist!. The LA Times, in panic mode, plays the highest race card in its apparently crappy hand. Turns out to be a joker. Pathetic.

President Barack Obama broke bread Friday with four winners of a contest for people who give to his campaign in small amounts. “Yeah, me an’ Michelle are havin’ grub with some penny-ante small donors: Chuck Wagon, Ann Onymous and Dick Hertz. Just ignore those guys from Goldman Sachs and the UAW behind the curtain, folks.”

That’s not a basketball, it’s a winning Illinois State Lottery check he’s dribbling! Yep, hard to believe but 85 Illinois Lottery winners’ checks bounced. “Not bounced … returned,” says Mike Lang, spokesman for the Illinois Lottery. Yeah, less filling, tastes great, whatever.

Microsoft patents “avoid ghetto” feature for GPS devices. Microsoft’s patent states that a route can be plotted for pedestrians to avoid an “unsafe neighborhood or being in an open area that is subject to harsh temperatures.” The monkey-feces media attached the term “avoid ghetto” to the device – are they suggesting the only unsafe neighborhoods are “ghettos”? Too bad there ain’t an app for “avoid drooling media idiots.”

Need a job? Surprise, the gubbermint is hiring! Why not become an “Invitations Coordinator” for the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau at 103k a year! What does an “invitations coordinator” do? Probably invites money to jump into politicians’ pockets. But it’s not as hazardous as being a Chevy Volt Fire Story Suppressor or a Fast n’ Furious Excuse Fabricator at the DOJ.

DOJ steers Countrywide settlement cash to Leftist groups with Dem ties. DOJ recently “settled” a “discrimination” complaint with Countrywide Financial Corp. (now part of Bank of America) for $335 million and a chunk of the money won’t go to the “victims” but rather leftist groups not connected to the lawsuit. Hey, if the raaaaacist Republicans won’t fund ACORN, former Sen. Chris Dodd’s favorite mortgage lender will!

Lawsuit says Skokie Ill. teachers made 6-yr-old boy with broken leg and concussion crawl across playground after falling on ice. If it’s true, these people should not be allowed anywhere near kids; dogs maybe… rabid ones.

The REAL American Muslim! Good thing the Obama administration is set to increase the number of muslim immigrants ASAP!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RUhgSU2Hb34

Everything you always wanted to know about North Korea – but you had more important things to do (like scratching your butt) so you didn’t ask. The official NoKo FAQ. Short version: NoKo is utopia, whatever you heard about them is wrong (unless it’s good stuff) and everything is fine there but if it weren’t, it’s the US’s fault. And BTW, it’s not a one-party dictatorship, it’s just that all the voters are crazy about the same guy. Just like here.

Students laugh when Obama tells them “You inspire me”. Probably nervous laughter – they’re worried folks will blame them for giving this bozo the idea to run for the office: “Hey, he said you kids inspired him! What the hell didja go an’ do that for?????”

Hey, besides being unconstitutional, Obama’s CFPB recess appointment is meaningless! “The Dodd-Frank Act is very clear, even a law professor can probably understand this section, that authorities under the Act remain with the Treasury Secretary until the Director is ‘confirmed by the Senate’. A recess appointment is not a Senate confirmation.” So either he’s really stupid or he’s just fabricating another campaign issue. Or both.

Young Mother Defends Self and Baby, Kills Intruder. ABC saw fit to throw in “pistol-packin’ mama” jibes and a gratuitous Dirty Harry reference, but it sounds to us like she showed calm and restraint and only killed because she was presented with no other choice. Vaya con dios, amigo. We salute your bravery.

Obama’s DOJ last year told Chief Justice John Roberts “the [congressional] recess has to be longer than 3 days” to allow the president to make a recess appointment. So according to what his Dep. Solicitor Gen. Neal Katyal argued last year, what the president has just done is illegal. But, as Nixon once told David Frost, “If the president does it, that means it’s not illegal.’’ Hey, Obama’s the new Nixon – Hillary oughta love that!

New Democrat Ticket for 2012. We wonder how many Democrats will grab on to this one?

France to increase Value Added Tax – to “protect” jobs. Sarkozy wants to lower costs for French companies to slow the rate at they’re sending jobs elsewhere, and raise consumer taxes to make up the lost revenue! But won’t less money in consumer pockets mean fewer sales for businesses, higher wage demands and hence, more pressure on jobs? [Insert chirping crickets here.]

Fed says expand Fannie, Freddie role to aid housing. What was the line… something about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. What could go wrong? Same things as last time, only with a bigger “boom!”

Obama bypasses Senate, cites Imperial Privilege. According to the article O Duce claimed “I refuse to take `no’ for an answer.” Who knew Bill Clinton, Mike Tyson, William Kennedy Smith and Barry had so much in common?

Shocking new video of Barack Obama has emerged. This was captured mere moments after Dear Leader signed the “Detain all Americans!” legislation into law.

Independent review panel declares California high-speed rail project “not financially feasible.” So what’s Gov. Moonbeam’s reaction to this? Just what you’d expect: “la, la, la, la, I can’t hear you, la, la, la, la…”

Woman sues dead teen whose severed body parts struck her after he was killed by speeding train. The train that hit the decedant was only doing 70 mph – we foresee a boon to the lawsuit industry if hi-speed rail ever becomes a reality.

Planned Parenthood Reports Half-Billion in Government Aid. “According to its latest annual report, the Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA) received $487.4 million in tax dollars over a twelve-month period and performed 329,455 abortions.” Here’s the report: ANNUAL REPORT To be fair, they DO offer prenatal services – but that’s basically a wheelchair ride to the OR.

Former President Jimmy Carter has some advice for Barack Obama as he gears up for the 2012 election: Don’t alienate voters with controversial positions. Jimmy, try and follow this: the ship is well out to sea, the bridges are smoking cinders and the horse is too far away to even sense your cluelessness as you close the barn door.

PETA seeks memorials to cows killed on Ill. roads. This is a very moooving story.

Gun Deaths and Firearm-Related Homicides at an All-Time Low. Contrary to the the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence crazies, an armed populace is a safe populace.