I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Forget 57! We’re down to 49 states. President genius strikes again! Hawaii is now part of Asia! George W. Bush is probably thinking – and you thought I was dumb!

Police officer shoots at his cop ex-girlfriend 10 times and MISSES before being caught by SWAT. Obviously this guy isn’t Deadeye Dick in bed or out.

‘I shouldn’t have showered with those kids’:  Former Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky speaks for the first time since sex abuse scandal… but denies he is a paedophile. Sure Jerry, and ITHM is really the New York Times. Here we go with the lame excuses that no one but another pedophile would believe.

Lady Gaga goes headless at concert: Why not? It is the only body part she hasn’t exploited yet.

Another election season and another stupid faux folksy quip from confirmed liar Dan Rather. We can’t wait till next fall. Maybe he and Mary Mapes can come up with another bogus “October Surprise” in order to torpedo a candidate they don’t approve of.

WHITE HOUSE NOTEBOOK: No swag rule in diplomacy. First lady Michelle Obama presented sterling silver orchid brooches and sterling silver cufflinks…to the leaders and spouses who gathered for the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation forum.” “The gifts came only days after President Barack Obama signed an executive order banning souvenirs that federal agencies buy with taxpayer money to promote their work — items like coffee cups, T-shirts and pens.” I’m sure this falls well within the sneaky loophole that excludes little trinkets for Michelle and Barack’s book.

Bon Jovi, Springsteen, Quincy Jones, Ted Turner received federal funds. “From tax write-offs for gambling losses, vacation homes, and luxury yachts to subsidies for their ranches and estates, the government is subsidizing the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Multi-millionaires are even receiving government checks for not working,” said Sen. Coburn in a statement Monday. You can bet Gene Simmons and Ted Nugent didn’t get a dime…. and would probably have told Obama where to stick it using some colorful lyric followed by a screaming guitar solo.
Give the guy a break! Those fake teeth were expensive!

The Rasmussen Poll asked: “Should spending cuts be considered in every federal government program?” 60% said yes. “Only 28% want any program spared.” Obama’s base: “We are the 28%!”

Maher On Romney: “At least he eats with a knife and fork.” America’s poison dwarf, noting that Mitt is polling behind Cain, says Romney “is all that stands between us and the rise of the apes.” Ummm, does anyone think this twirp would still be doing his Olberman imitation on HBO if he had said “Hillary Clinton is all that stands between us and the rise of the apes” during the Dem campaign in 2008? As Bob Dole said, “Where’s the outrage????”

Counterforce and countermeasure: preparing the election battlespace.“They [the hard-core Marxists astroturfing the Occupy movements] foresee bands of black-masked Occupiers attacking and scattering any legally organized demonstrations the Tea Party may arrange for. The cops can’t do it, but these new Obama Brown Shirts can, while the cops look the other way.” Neither the Bolsheviks in Russia nor the Nazis in Germany nor Mao’s CPC were voted into power in an election. Just sayin’.

Oslo, Norway police: all rapes in past year “committed by men of non-western background.” In 83 of 86 rapes committed in 2005-2010, the man was described as having “non-western appearance.” Gee, we haven’t the foggiest idea whom they could be talking about. A clue: one rapist told his victim “he had the right to do exactly as he wanted to a woman” because his religion said so. Breaking news from Gloria Allred and the MSM: Herman Cain has an apartment in Oslo!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r58rUuU0hXU&feature=player_embedded

CNN reporter asks Obama: are GOP candidates “uninformed, out of touch, or irresponsible?” Tough, hard-nosed reporting from the journolists (sic) at CNN. Obama is truly awesome – other johns have to pay for fellation from a strange man.

TSA: We’ll open your Christmas presents. Why can’t these guys just keep their hands off our packages?

Nancy Pelosi blocked credit card reform while investing millions in exclusive Visa stock offering. The Bay Area’s biggest botox stash was invited to participate in the highly sought-after stock IPO “almost two weeks after a potentially damaging piece of legislation for Visa, the Credit Card Fair Fee Act, had been introduced in the House.” If they’re gonna Occupy Wall St, they should occupy Congress also. The two are joined at the hip – right where their wallets are located.

Canadian PM Stephen Harper said his country will make a bigger push to sell its energy products to Asia after Washington delayed a decision to approve the Keystone XL Canada-to-Texas oil pipeline project. Meanwhile, administration officials continue to fart in the general direction of the nearest windmill, all the while chanting “We’re producing green energy!” With “leaders” like Barack Obama, enemies are clearly redundant.

Unions and Occupy Wall Street protesters will be joining forces next week for a “day of action” to pressure lawmakers on jobs. Jobs, you mean like the ones Obama kissed off the other day by not backing the Keystone XL pipeline? “Many of the events, union officials said, will be focused on urging lawmakers to pass more federal funding for infrastructure.” Get a clue, guys – Wall St LOVES infrastructure spending, it’s a securities industry gold mine. Your biggest enemy is Obama’s enviro-weenie base and the upscale leftists who fund it.

Vandals steal copper sword from Lincoln’s Tomb. “An employee noticed last week that the sword was cut from a statue of a Civil War artillery officer, the (Springfield) State Journal-Register reported Saturday. Officials think the sword was stolen sometime between September and early November.” When penny-ante crooks steal artifacts from public monuments, it’s called “vandalism.” When big-time crooks steal billions from public treasuries, it’s called “investment.”

President Obama: U.S. Gotten a Bit “Lazy” on Attracting Businesses. Amazing hubris coming from the anointed one who’s almost on a permanent golf, fund-raising, campaigning and vacation schedule. Talk about lazy.

QE: Greg Ip answers Felix Salmon’s questions. Ever wonder what Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, is really up to when he talks about quantitative easing (QE), bonds and currency? Read how financial smoke and mirrors works.

Arafat autopsy report suggests AIDS. Whoops! Was Uncle Yasser a closet homosexual who made whoopie with his bodyguards? This certainly gives new meaning to that song “Midnight at the Oasis.”

TLC premieres ‘All-American Muslim’ reality TV show. “Shadia Amen has plenty of piercings, a few on her left eyebrow and 20 on her ears. She says her hair changes color monthly, “anywhere from pink to blue-black to black to whatever tickles my fancy. And tattoos cover 40 percent of her body, including one that depicts “the rock star sign with the hand” shaped like the devil’s horns. Despite that, the 31-year-old Dearborn woman — who calls herself a hillbilly at heart — is a proud Muslim.” We think hillbillies everywhere should feel insulted. She sounds more like trailer trash. What next? A Muslim sitcom called My Three Wives?

Tax burdens tilt coastal, and system’s fairness is debated. “…earning $250,000 a year in New York does not buy as much as it does in Iowa…” Boo Hoo. Blue-state pols notice folks fleeing their shakedown rackets for greener pastures. Pols need a way to claw some wealth back or get some to stay. Cutting their own profligate spending is not an option. When a lefty says “fairness”, it means somebody else has something he wants the political system to take.

“Obama campaign backers and bundlers rewarded With Green Grants and Loans” says Newsweek “These programs might be the greatest—and most expensive—example of crony capitalism in American history.” This is no surprise. What is a surprise is one of the Obama-worshipping media cult noticed.

Video of Pulitzer Prize winning reporter at Newark (NJ) Star-Ledger and adjunct professor at Columbia Journalism School Amy Nutt (aptly named) on tape agreeing for need to re-elect Obama. She says it’s “going to help now that (NJ Gov) Chris Christie isn’t running”, a man whom she says is “the great white hope”, “an a**hole, a bully and a liar.” If you buy a newspaper these days, you are basically paying money to read liberal propaganda. They’re not gonna change so save your money and just buy regular toilet paper with no ink on it.

Campaigning for Gov. Jon Corzine in 2009, Vice President Joe Biden brags that Corzine was the first person the newly-inaugurated Obama called for advice on the economy. MF Global, the company Corzine bankrupted, laid off 1,000 employees today. Yeah, this video kinda explains everything.