Obama adviser David Axelrod makes case for Mitt Romney for President. David Axelrod — please tell us, in 30 seconds or less, why America should vote for Mitt Romney… Do you wanna continue on the “road we’re on”, being driven over a cliff by a clown in a presidential golf cart? Us neither.

Dem Patrick Kennedy: Obama is running a ‘Quid Pro Quo’ White House. “…Obama is running a pay-for-play White House despite his promises to keep lobbyists out and clean things up. ‘Drain the swamp’ is how Nancy Pelosi phrased it. But all the Democrats have really done is make sure the swamp is under their management.” Change they can believe in. Only fools expected otherwise.

“The thing is, he’s not buffoonish in any way. He’s not a comical figure.” -Mike Barry, joke writer for David Letterman. A web site for making pictoral fun of the most unfunny president ever.

1,800-word article on John Edwards trial doesn’t mention the word “Democrat”, but manages to mention “Republican” 5 times. Just one more example of the MSM’s ongoing “War on news reporting.”

It’s (the) bush’s fault: gov’t spent $205,075 to “translocate” one $16 shrub from path of Stimulus project. One of those “shovel-ready” jobs the Fertilizer-Head-In-Chief was always blathering about. In this instance, Obama can say it’s bush’s fault, and for once he’d be right.

Secret Service dismissals “biggest scandal” for agency. “A source in the Secret Service told CBS News that one or more of the officers was involved with prostitutes and that there was a dispute over payment. One prostitute went to the police, who notified the State Department.” More about this here. Giving a new meaning to “going undercover.”

The greatest obituary of all time. “Weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors’ orders and raising hell for more than six decades.” Well, the greatest obituary of all time would be if and when Obamacare dies, but this is a close second.

“It’s 99% certain there is life on Mars”: Shock finding as scientists re-analyse soil samples from Seventies Viking lander. Not intelligent life, mind you, but then again, there’s none of that in DC either.

Blago’s brother heads to D.C. to talk about Senate seat controversy. Rob Blagojevich has said two different people in 2008 — including a fund-raiser for Jackson — told him that Jackson would help fuel Rod Blagojevich’s campaign fund if the former governor appointed Jackson to the U.S. Senate. So many investigations, so little time. Forget it, Rob, it’s Chicagotown.

Obama hammered for “jetting around,” taking vacations while Americans suffer. The local media does not treat the king with the same deference as the national media clowns do, and it shows – he really isn’t very good at handling tough questions. Waitress, can we get some more waffles for the President, please? Never mind, he’s making some now.

Book claims Napolitano perjured herself to Congress in Fast & Furious testimony. “When she [Napolitano] says that she and Attorney General Eric Holder have not discussed it, that is a lie.” “There are five emails linking her to Holder. They go back two days after it happened—the first email was two days after [ATF Agent] Brian [Terry] was killed.” The book, Fast and Furious, is due out April 16. We shall see if this is a bombshell or a dud.

Former GE CEO Jack Welch on Obama: “He’s got an enemies list that would make Richard Nixon proud.” The one-time CEO of one of Barry’s favorite crony capitalist concerns notes “there can be no denying that the country is more polarized than when Obama took office.” A divider not a uniter? Oh, why don’t you just admit it Jack, you don’t like him ’cause he’s got a funny name.

The Coming Cultural Disintegration. Mario Cuomo once bragged, “If we take a 16-year-old single mother, get her on welfare, give her food stamps, get her in her own apartment and have her back in school taking classes, what’s the problem?” Well, besides driving NY state to near bankruptcy, it’s not really a family when one parent is the gubbermint.

Dershowitz: Charges against Zimmerman won’t hold up. Harvard law prof accuses prosecutor Angela Corey of political grandstanding and notes the facts as stated are consistent with self-defense. “A good judge will throw it out.” If he’s right, sounds like she’s just going thru the motions for her own cynical purposes. Link here to see the video on Bing.

Obama: We didn’t have “the luxury” for Michelle to not work. Well, few of us have the luxury to have a wife who “works” as a “vice president of community relations” at a Chicago (where else?) hospital, a job that was quietly eliminated when she left it. By the way Mr. President, a lot more of us are not working these days, thanks to your economic “ideas”, but few of those would consider it a “luxury.”

Chicago homicides soar in first quarter of 2012. 120 homicides in Barry’s old stomping grounds in Q1 of this year vs. 75 in same period in 2010 & 2011. Why isn’t the “crusading” national media making a stink about this? Hey NBC, maybe you guys can make some more editing “mistakes” and gin up some political controversy over it? Give it a try, it’s not like you have anything useful to do.

Jobless claims jump; core PPI up, trade deficit down. Initial claims came in at a seasonally adjusted 380,000, economists expected 355,000. It was harder to find this story than it has been the past few months when the claims were lower than expected. And while the headlines in the “claims down” stories mentioned “Obama”, today his name is nary to be seen. Coincidence, right?

Obama looks annoyed as Brazilian President lectures him about US monetary policy. She looks pissed because, as she says, US monetary expansion leads to depreciation in the value of emerging countries, like hers. He looks pissed because (a) he doesn’t want to hear it (b) he hates listening to anyone that’s not him (c) all of the above. Watch him writhe – he does almost everything but give her the finger on the sly (like he did to Hillary.)

Carney: No more from Obama on Trayvon Martin. Yeah, he’s already made all the political hay he’s gonna make on this. Time to move on.

The Creepiness Factor: How Obama and Romney are getting to know You. Figuring out if you lean Democrat or GOP and are more or less likely to vote based on what you drive, sports and primetime TV you watch, what you read, etc, etc. The graphics are hard to read, even at the website, but we’ll give you an example: Lexus owners lean GOP and are likely to vote, Plymouth (?) owners lean Dem and are unlikely to show up – the latter probably because their autos don’t run.

Support for ObamaCare now at alltime low in new WaPo-ABC poll. “Last month’s hearings on the constitutionality of health care reform didn’t help its popularity:” 53/39 against, the lowest “fors” in this poll series since 8/2009. Strong critics outnumber strong supporters 2-1. “A ‘strong majority,’ as Obama would say.” The political wind, “the right thing to do” and the financial realities are all aligned here – makes it easy for SCOTUS to flush this steaming pile if they are so inclined.

Obama on Free Markets: “We tried it. It’s not like we did not try.” Yeah, and it doesn’t work, right? So, computers, iPads, iPhones, cars, cheap food, etc, etc, were all invented and produced by the extra guys on the state road crews that never seem to be shoveling when we drive by. There’s really no point in arguing with a boob who just makes sh-t up as he goes along. Or listening to him.

Former NASA scientists, astronauts admonish agency on climate change position. They charge that NASA is relying too heavily on complex climate models while ignoring empirical evidence. Yeah, under the tired old way of doing things, science relied on empirical evidence instead of peer review, real thinking instead of group-think. But back then, legislators read the bills they were voting on, too. Those were the days, my friends.

Obama’s brand of cigarettes. Your money, up in smoke. Oh, BTW, the Surgeon General has determined Obama’s smoking is dangerous to your financial health.

Gov. Christie: Nation turning into “people sitting on a couch waiting for their next government check.” It’ll keep working until Atlas shrugs. Then, the deluge.