“Limericks for the Next 1,361 Days” Contest

The winners have been announced in the article Top 10 Obama Administration limericks.

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We read the Huffington Post every day just looking for classic stuff like this: a website called, “Starting Today: Poems for the First 100 Days.”

The website says, “The day before the inauguration we sent out a call to poets we admire to write poems that respond, however loosely, to the presidency, the nation, the government or the current political climate. More than one hundred American poets responded immediately. The first 100 poets were each assigned one of President Obama’s first hundred days in office, and each will write a poem reflecting on the state of the nation and the world on that day. A new poem is posted every day.”

Here’s the opening of the poem for Day #96:

“Stalked by a Prisoner of Texas”

You want to secede? From what? Yourself?

A pre-arranged harmonizing occurred
for eight long years: gun shots, obfuscations,
bleats of empowered utterance,
bombing, and presumptuous census work.
Immigrants screwed
for life—

predatory lending thrust on everyone, including poets.

Faulty few in charge of rhetoric, and now they think
all is wrong with the world.

A kind of speculative critical thought
inside a flayed fish, a lone canoe.

No utensils everyone said.

The soul-self inside the big fat white whale.

You get the idea. Lots of lunatic libs submitting wacko poems that are deep. So deep that mere conservatives couldn’t possibly comprehend their…uh…depth.

We have been inspired by this poetry. Inspired to announce our own
conservative poetry contest not about Obama’s first 100 days, but about what
will hopefully be his next (and last) 1,361 days. And rather than ending the
poetry on a day when Obama cancels primetime programming to celebrate
himself, we choose to end our contest on Armed Forces Day, May 16, a day
when we can celebrate those who really matter – our military. (Contest has been extended to May 31.)

Here’s one we wrote just to get things going:

“Ode To Obama”
There once was a guy named Barack
Who loved to hear himself talk
He bought all the banks
Then wanted our thanks
Though he put all our children in hock

The Prizes: The Top 10 entries (as determined by IHateTheMedia.com’s editorial staff) will all receive the T-shirt or coffee mug of their choice from the IHateTheMedia.com store or the HyperboleGear.com store (up there in the right hand corner).

The Rules: All poems must be in the form of five-line limericks. You know, that kind of low brow poetry that appeals to conservatives. Enter as often as want, but only one prize per person. All entries must be submitted as comments added to this story and become the property of IHateTheMedia.com. IHateTheMedia.com reserves the right to delete any entries we find objectionable. Entries must contain correct email addresses so winners can be contacted. Better yet, create your own account and log in. Deadline for entries is midnight PST, May 31, 2009.

Let your creative juices begin to flow. Start writing. Start entering. And more importantly, start winning.

THE COMMENT SECTION OF THIS ARTICLE IS RESERVED EXCLUSIVELY FOR LIMERICK ENTRIES.

Make all comments and ask any questions here >

And enter your limericks below in the comments.