I HATE THE MEDIA ™

A disturbing discovery by researchers. Look closely at the photo. Yes, that’s an American alligator about ten feet over the water, up in a tree. It turns out crocodiles and alligators can climb trees – something residents who live near the critters all around the world have been trying to tell the “experts” for years.

1 in 4 Americans unaware that Earth circles Sun. “Ten questions about … science were on the quiz, and the average score – 6.5 correct – was barely a passing grade.” Betcha those 25% watch state-approved media a lot and think the earth revolves around Obama. Or else it’s due to Climate Change.

Obama: CA Central Valley drought due to climate change. Looks like we have a new science expert, Barack Lie the Science Guy. This so-called drought in California’s Central Valley is due to libtards, greentards and a bait fish, not global warming.

Tennessee VW workers reject recruitment bid by UAW. “The rejection of a key Democratic Party ally occurred despite President Barack Obama’s personal support for the unionization drive.” “Despite” or perhaps “because of”?

Biden: Be optimistic on state of the nation “in spite of who’s president”. Sounds like Slow Joe thinks “Obama” is a four-letter word.

Postmortem. “The reason why collapse, especially that caused by socialism, is so utterly complete is that the damage remains hidden for so long.” Just like termites.

This week’s sign of the impending Apocalypse: Romania’s parliament is debating whether to grant human rights to dolphins. Eric Holder is watching closely – if he finds out that dolphins lean left politically, he’ll be all over this issue like olive oil on sardines.

When stupid people are federal judges… they end up looking silly. Judge Arenda Wright Allen ruled Virginia’s ban on same-sex marriages unconstitutional today, on Valentine’s Day, and made a fool of herself with the first sentence of the second paragraph of her ruling:

“Our Constitution declares that ‘all men’ are created equal. Surely this means all of us…”

One would think a judge ruling on constitutionality would actually be familiar with the Constitution. Can you guess which president appointed this ninny?

JUDGE REDUCES UNSAFE ILLINOIS ABORTION CLINIC’S $36,000 FINE TO $77: Abortion clinics, by design, are unsafe. Especially for females and minorities.

Army sent in to Venezuelan cities as unrest prompts coup warning. Another socialist success story! We’re sure the “unrest” is due to some Tea Partiers upset about ObamaCare because their economy is going great guns (so to speak.)

HOUSE GOP AMNESTY ADVOCATES UPSET TED CRUZ MAY HAVE KILLED BILL. Poor crybabay Boeher and the rest of the RINOs. Wahhhhhhhhh!

 

Americans don’t like Obama’s end runs. “The Fox News poll finds that 74% think end running Congress through executive orders is ‘not the way our government is supposed to work.’ …surprisingly enough, 54% of Democrats.” But that means around 46% of Democrats either think it’s OK or don’t care.

Europe Considers Wholesale Savings Confiscation, Enforced Redistribution. Time to start hiding your money in the mattress? You can bet Obama will love this redistribution idea.

What’s happening to American women? The women pictured above were all recently arrested for physically abusing boyfriends who refused to give them sex. C’mon, ladies, we men are sick of being sex objects. We have feelings. And sometimes we just have a headache.

New bill would require WH dinners to follow school lunch guidelines. “Tuesday night’s glutton-fest of a White House state dinner for French President François Hollande was the perfect example of why U.S. Rep. Rodney Davis has introduced legislation that would require official White House meals to follow the same USDA mandated guidel” Let them eat mystery vegetables.

Democrats publicly calling on IRS for help with re-elections. Now that Obama showed them how to use the IRS like the Soviets used the KGB, they all want to try it.

Justice Clarence Thomas: ‘Northern liberal elites’ worse than segregated South. “The worst things that have been done to me, the worst things that have been said about me, [were] by northern liberal elites, not by the people of Savannah, Georgia.” Sure, because he was exposing their self-serving con game.

Illinois partners with The Onion to sell Obamacare. Apparently Mad Magazine ad rates were too high.

Sinkhole swallows eight vintage Corvettes. Looks like someone in the underworld wanted a new ride – be wary of red-complected gentlemen driving Corvettes for a while.

DC man set for hearing after arrest over inoperable shotgun shell. “…arrested for having an inoperable shotgun shell in his home. The shell was a souvenir … from a hunting trip years earlier.” Gee, if only he were a journ0list waving it around on his TV show – the apparatchiks make exceptions for that.

CNN: Michelle Obama’s “dress probably cost around $12,000”. If Romney had been elected, they’d be blathering for the next month about how many poor kids 12 grand would feed. Bain!

Survey: U.S. press freedom plunges under Obama to 46th in world, after Romania. Hey, maybe the Journ0list members should hold a rally and yell “We’re No. 46! We’re No. 46!”

‘I do the dishes every night but my private jet’s my guilty pleasure’: Bill Gates on life as a billionaire and why his wife wouldn’t mind like Samuel L Jackson playing him in a movie! We can see the movie version with Samuel L. Jackson as Bill Gates: “There’s a passage I got memorized. Microsoft 25:17. The path of the righteous Microsoft man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish Apple and the tyranny of the evil Steve Jobs. Blessed is me who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak computer nerds through the software valley of the darkness, for I am truly my nerd brother’s keeper and the finder of lost $ billions. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to hack and destroy my software. And you will know I am the Chairman of the Board when I lay my computer virus upon you.”

House votes to raise debt ceiling with no strings attached. When are they going to come out with new RINO dolls in likenesses of Boehner, Cantor, McCain, et al, that are in a permanent bent over position with pants on the ground?

Cover Oregon scandal deepens. “Local news agencies have obtained emails and other reports suggesting state officials lied about the progress of the website, possibly even creating dummy sites to present to federal officials.” Yeah, but they had groovy TV ads (see below) and that’s all that matters in today’s Potemkin States of America. Besides, it’s BOOOSH’S FAULT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv2UUcXCo9g