Obama proposes $100M brain mapping project. One too many cabinet meetings with Joe Biden present leads to exasperation and a quest for answers.

University compares pro-life students to white supremacists. The Student Government Association at Johns Hopkins denied a pro-life student group status as an official club because they don’t like their views. Later that same day, to prove they aren’t close-minded, they approved the virulently anti-Semitic, violence-prone Students for Justice in Palestine as an official student club.

Time flies: Olbermann out of work for one year. It’s now been 368 days since the big-mouthed blowhard was unceremoniously dumped by ESPN Fox MSNBC Current and just a matter of time before he’ll be fired by whoever’s stupid enough to hire him next.

‘TEN COMMANDMENTS’ RERUN BEATS JIM CARREY, TINA FEY & ‘GIRLS.’ Now THIS is funny!

Stockton, CA becomes most populous U.S. city to file for bankruptcy, setting up pension fight. “And, here’s where we run into an issue that will reverberate around the country. What wins out? Federal bankruptcy law, which ostensibly allows for the tearing up of contracts (even pension promises) or state and local laws, which protect pension promises?” Not the USA but the USB – United States of Bankruptcy.

COULD THIS LAWSUIT REALLY KILL ‘OBAMACARE’? Perhaps Justice Roberts is a lot smarter than everyone thought he was. If this case wins, it knocks the whole thing out of the ballpark, not just sections.

Death knell for global warming hysteria, Al Gore full of sh*t. “Throughout human history we have witnessed swings in temperature. Glaciers have come and gone. They will probably come again and human beings will still die from climate changes. That’s a fact. One day, the earth will cease to exist as well. And it does not matter a damn whether or not the whole world is driving water mobiles or a Prius.” What about a Fisker? Oh wait, they’re bankrupt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGOBm2J4tn0&feature=player_embedded#!

Killing of Texas district attorney, wife, seen as targeted: Some say it was done by a Mexican drug cartel. Some say white supremacists. And while we can’t really say that we prefer one party to be guilty over the other we can say that if the supremacists are culpable at least we will know that Eric Holder didn’t use any of our money to give them guns and there is a better chance that justice will be pursued.

Climate scientists decide expansion of Antarctic sea ice is caused by Global Warming. Modern science is easy. Causation is already decided for you – all weather is caused by Global Warming, everything biological is created by Evolution, hydrocarbons come from decayed vegetation, economic success kills Mother Earth, etc. – so to be a successful “scientist” all you need do is explain your data according to the appropriate scientific dogma using words small enough for journalists to understand. Voila! Nobel Prizes will be yours.

Obama moves remnants of F-22 program he gutted to South Korea… two weeks after moving remnants of anti-missile program he also gutted to Alaska. So far no hard questions from media about previous administration claims that F-22s have no useful purpose and anti-missile systems don’t work.

White House unknowingly plays April Fools joke:

“NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim April 2013 as National Financial Capability Month. I call upon all Americans to observe this month with programs and activities to improve their understanding of financial principles and practices.”

Somebody in the White House has a twisted sense of humor… or they really are that dumb.

Obama Says “I am not a dictator! I am Emperor!” Dateline April 1, 2013. At this morning’s press conference Obama declared himself Emperor Nero II. He made Joe Biden Imperial Jester and immediately declared Sharia Law. He announced Biden will be replaced by George Soros who will have the new title of Vice Emperor Darth and that Janet Napolitano is now Generalissimo of Empire Security. He then refused to answer questions, muttered something about Imperial golf being the new official sport of the land, said he was late for his game and left. Jay Carny, now sporting a new toga announced Air Force One would henceforth be referred to as Chariot of the God 1 and then declared the press conference over. We thought you’d enjoy this story about fools on April Fool’s Day.

Bernanke breaks down: “This whole thing is a kleptocracy”. “Paul Krugman and I put on witch doctor masks and we dance around a campfire waving dead chickens and chanting nonsense. That’s Keynesianism.” Those are masks? Too bad it’s April 1st or it could be a change we would believe in.

President Obama attends Easter service where pastor calls conservatives racist. And sexist and xenophobic, too. Here’s what Rev. Luis Leon of Saint John’s Church preached to the president today while trying to express the Passion and Resurrection of Jesus:

“You cannot go back. It drives me crazy when the captains of the religious right are always calling us back: for blacks to be back in the back of the bus, for women to be back in the kitchen, for immigrants to be back on their side of the border.”

WTF? This is an Easter sermon? Who gave this yahoo a church?

Teen mob action takes over Chicago’s Gold Coast. “You had a group of teens, close to maybe 500. They assaulted a Chicago police officer that was mounted on a horse and all of a sudden they assaulted a citizen walking the streets, just a normal citizen shopping and enjoying the weather.” End stage progressive utopia.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyrtj-idE1s

WaPo executives make millions while paper cuts staff, benefits. “The publisher of the struggling Washington Post made over $2.4 million last year, and at least three other executives made over $3 million…” But like the Hollyweirdos, they’re lefty Democrats so shut up.

In UK, nearly 900,000 leave disability rolls rather than face needs test. “The 878,300 who decided not to have an official assessment of whether they were fit for work was more than a third of the total number of people claiming sickness-related benefits. …some claimants cited conditions such as ‘blisters’, ‘sprains and strains’ and ‘acne’ as preventing them from having a job.” Miracle cure!

Another sign of impending apocalypse? This is the final Easter for Eggshelland. The driving spirit behind the annual display of tens of thousands of colored eggs, Ron Manolio, died last year, so the 55-year tradition will end. Don’t laugh, this is serious. In California they look for signs in the Mayan calendar – here in the Midwest we look at Eggshelland.

Why the Euro Is Doomed in 4 Steps. Just wait until New York, Illinois and California puke and see what happens here. Probably a bank robbery bail-in.

ON EASTER, GOOGLE HONORS CESAR CHAVEZ. Frankly, we’re surprised they didn’t have a picture of Obama on the cross, ready to be resurrected so he can go play golf.

Countdown to chaos: Can the Feds get their Obamacare act together in time? “We are 149 days away from the October 1 deadline for state insurance exchanges to be up and running so that citizens can purchase plans and find out how much of a subsidy they are eligible for. The IT requirements to connect everything, have all the interfaces in place, not to mention securing the system from hackers looking to steal your personal information, are incredibly complex.” And remember that the contract to build them will go to the lowest bidder – or more likely, some pol’s crony.

It’s the cold, not global warming, that should worry us. Since 2003, when Brits were warned that global warming is a more serious threat to human life than terrorism, “250,000 Brits have died from the cold, and 10,000 from the heat.” If you plotted those stats on a chart, would it look like a hockey stick?

Bank of Cyprus ‘haircut’ for big depositors detailed. Now that the EU has Cypress bending forward for 40%, they want them to bend over and spread ’em for 60%. Cypress should tell them to stuff it ala Iceland and watch the EU go into panic mode. We assume their politicians are as nutless as ours are and their next move will be to grab their ankles.

COMMON CORE USES SCIENTOLOGY VIDEOS TO TEACH STUDENTS THEY HAVE RIGHT TO FOOD, HOUSING, CLOTHING, MEDICINE, EVEN A JOB. We say the UN and Scientology are a fluke of the universe and have no right to be here.

North Korea threats predictable but Kim Jong Un is not, analysts say. “Kim Jong Un may need to consolidate his political power at home. A strong response by the U.S. or South Korea, such as this week’s B-2 bomber flyover, helps rally domestic support and distract from economic problems.” Yeah, a good war always makes people forget they’re eating cardboard. Did we say “eating”?