I HATE THE MEDIA ™

China’s People’s Daily falls for Onion spoof naming Kim Jong Un “Sexiest Man Alive.” Apparently nobody told them The Onion is a comedy website, we get that, but at some point during the process of asembling their own 55-photo-spread of Dear Leader (55 photos!), nobody noticed the guy wasn’t sexy? Really?

BUT IT’S ALL ABOUT FAIRNESS: 144,000 households, 1 percent of taxpayers, pay half of California’s income taxes. Bottom line? Not many people will need to flee California before Jerry ‘Moonbeam’ Brown starts wondering where all the rich people who are supposed to bend forward went. Hint – Nevada has no personal income tax folks and it’s right next door.

Time magazine considering Sandra Fluke for 2012 Person of the Year. This is how we measure greatness now: if a woman flagrantly lies on national TV during a sham congressional hearing while implying that she has extramarital sex so frequently that 3,000 condoms are needed to get her through three years of law school… well, that warrants national recognition. Barf amongst yourselves.

Sandra Fluke is a candidate for Time’s “Person of the Year.” “I know Time also selected Hitler one year, but at least Hitler could draw a crowd.” And at it’s current newstand cover price, Time is the perfect place to dump your unwanted $3.95 just in case there isn’t a rathole or a sewer nearby.

Portugal debates future of welfare state. “The country has to choose between higher taxes or fewer state services, Vítor Gaspar, finance minister, said. “There appears to be an enormous divergence between what the Portuguese believe the state should deliver and the amount of taxes they are prepared to pay,” he told parliament recently. The solution is to tax the rich. If it doesn’t seem to work, try yelling it louder.

Occupy Shows Solidarity With Walmart Employees. Perhaps the Flea Baggers shouldn’t be so keen to get the common people fired. After all if they don’t have jobs who will there be left to fleece when it comes time to pay for all the handouts for the Whiney-whine percent?

U.N. to Seek Control of the Internet. Our prediction? They’ll ruin one of the greatest tools mankind has ever had -one they could never have built themselves- by taxing it, censoring it and looking for ways to enhance their power from their stranglehold on it.

Federal officials take down 132 websites in ‘Cyber Monday’ crackdown: Great, we have a government that can protect us from websites offering counterfeit merchandise but can do nothing to protect us from counterfeit voters or dollars.

Sandy victim who got famous hug and promise of “immediate help” from Obama… still hasn’t received any help.

Obama wants women in combat infantry units… but after opening the Marine Corps’ three-month-long Infantry Officer Course to women, only two volunteered. One dropped out the first day, the other two weeks later. No women volunteered for the next one, which starts in January. Poll question: will liberals respond by admitting it was a bad idea or will they lower standards so women can graduate?

Gaia worshipping enviromentalists rank countries for happiness and sustainability. According to the Happy Planet Index, the United States is a worse place to live than Venezuela, Cuba, and Sudan. But don’t lose hope. Obama has four more years so anything could happen.

Justice Ginsburg: We Need An All-Female Supreme Court: We’d be all in favor of an all female SCOTUS. Just so long as they were females that viewed the Constitution as the ultimate guarantee of our personal liberties in this country . . . instead of ones like Ginsberg that view it as the ultimate stumbling block to their plans for an all powerful state.

Do you live in a Death Spiral state? No, it has nothing to do with the latest psycho-babble from Oprah… It’s a list of eleven states which are danger spots for investors: “They can look forward to a rising tax burden, deteriorating state finances and an exodus of employers.” So don’t buy a house or a municpal bond in any of them. At the top of the list: New Mexico! But California is not far behind.

Truck driver spent seven months in a Mexican prison for wrong turn. He was delivering a load of ammunition to a Phoenix gun shop when he made the wrong turn. When he asked a cop where he could make a U-turn, he was directed down the road which took him across the border into Mexico where they have strict gun laws. Meanwhile, nobody responsible for the “Fast and Furious” scandal has spent a single day in jail.

“Our lord and savior Barack Obama.” Spoken by oscar-winning actor Jamie Foxx at the previously recorded Soul Train Awards broadcast on BET Sunday. No need to dig out of the hole, the sh*t is now so deep we can stand on it. BTW, will Jamie be getting a Nobel Peace Prize now as well?

Assisted-suicide sitcom coming to BBC. “The six-part series is described as a ‘black comedy’ about three men who set up an assisted-suicide business.” Undoubtedly inspired by the UK’s NHS. Another cutting-edge idea from the network that gave the world a children’s TV show hosted by a pedophile.

Bond bubble bust. “Ben’s debt binge to detonate retirement funds.” If you’re near retirement or retired already, beware the bond market. Interest rates would not have to go up very much to squash bond prices and your principal with it. Just another hazard courtesy of Helicopter Ben and his Keynesian stimulus baloney.

A physician’s new reality: patients ask me to break the law. “Obamacare is very clear as to what is covered and what is not. Obamacare — intentionally — makes it as difficult to be seen and taken care of as possible.” Here’s what medicine will be like with the gubbermint looking over your doctor’s shoulder: “I am now mandated by the government to talk to you about your weight, exercise, family life, smoking, sexual abuse(!), and even to ask if you wear seat belts. And I am mandated to record your answers.” It’s not as bad as we thought… it’s worse!

Is western civilization fatally ill? It’s bad enough when a culture engages in perversion reluctantly. When people go out of their way to engage in gratuitous perversion for no discernible reason, well, you might have a problem. One of the above models is male and one is female – can you guess which is which?

Solar power plants burden the counties that host them. Wow a likely 10 permanent workers after the construction is done! Funny we see no mention of who’s going to get stuck with the bill disposing all of this after it’s 20-25 year life-cycle is over either. Bend forward! Eleventy!

Gaza part of secret war in Middle East? “Israeli leaks about missiles heading for Gaza have served notice that the ‘ceasefire’ can breakdown at any time. It also serves to advance the narrative that Teheran is mixed up in things somehow. With Egypt itself in turmoil the area is like a disaster waiting to happen.” There may indeed be “smart power” at work in the region – it just doesn’t work for us.

Obama used green energy loans to recycle money back to donors. His first term was so corrupt, Obama campaign bundlers averaged more than $21,000 in government-backed loans and grants for every dollar they contributed to his campaign. That’s a better return than drug cartels get selling cocaine.

Science journalist equates climate skeptics to pedophiles. “What if I told you pedophilia is good for children?” asks Robyn Williams on Australia’s The Science Show. “You’d rightly find it outrageous, but there have been similar statements coming out of inexpert mouths distorting [climate] science.”

What if they held a cap-and-trade auction and nobody showed up? The brilliant budgeteers in California were planning on $500 million dollars from the auction to reduce their deficit, but the auction brought them a grand total of $55.8 million… 89% less than they predicted. Oops.

The 49ers: How ObamaCare will keep unemployment high — by forcing small companies to cut their workforce to fewer than 50 people. It’s creating jobs in China, though: “Boston Scientific has announced that it will now lay off up to 1,400 workers and shift some jobs to China.” Polls said a majority of voters wanted Obamacare repealed yet they came out Nov. 6 and re-elected Gilligan to ensure that will NOT happen. When in a hole, keep digging. Duh.