I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Obama drops in on Chinese restaurant … and cheeky owner grabs handful of his BUTT. Kowtowing to the Chinese vote, Obama orders a heapin’ helpin’ of yummy sweet and sour pork barrel butt – with a side of spicy Kung Mao chicken.

Happy Birthday, Dear Stimulus. Remembering the day when 780 billion bucks got together and, at the behest of Obama, Pelosi, Reid and other DC “smart people”, decided to jump down a rathole. Pay tribute to their “accomplishment” by buying an overpriced cake and throwing it in the garbage.

Fears of military coup mounting as Greece melts down. All socialist roads lead to Athens.

DHS: ‘CBP Stops Thousands of Unsafe Hair Dryers’. Fat Sis is really protecting us! Meanwhile, 13,000 illegal aliens snuck across the border at the same time.

Lover Finds Dead Cat Beneath Fat Woman’s Bottom. Two kitties for the price of one? We have to ask – did he roll her in flour first?

 

Geithner: Why, no, our new budget does nothing to address America’s long-term fiscal crisis. A weasel and some bad graphs… what could possibly go wrong?

Christian student quits school choir in protest at song ‘praising Allah.’ I think there would be a lot of outrage if we made a Muslim choir say Jesus Christ is the only truth.’ If that happened  CAIR would be pulling out all the stops. We will give credit, at least they weren’t singing ‘Barack Obama..mmm….mmm….mmmmmmm.‘

‘Sean Penn’s an idiot and a fool’: Falklands hero Simon Weston hits back at bleeding heart actor’s explosive remarks on disputed islands. To this we reply with the world famous IHTM line “No shit Sherlock!”

Pentagon consultant says Eisenhower met with alien. The former consultant claims President Eisenhower set up the meeting telepathically, and signed an agreement with a race called “Alien Greys.” No word on whether that agreement involved making a young Barack Obama president someday.

Raaaaacist ad says “Turn this ship around!” Glenn Morton is running against House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer in Maryland’s 5th CD. He says on his web site that he voted for Obi “I Won” Kenobi in 2008 and now states “Obamacare is the greatest threat to our freedom and way of life.” His ad says it all. Don’t wanna sail with this ship of fools… turn this damn ship around.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vBLAMcyjxYw

Bend over America. There is a new Kennedy ready to claim his birthright . . . and your money.

European carbon market is an expensive failure. “…as a result of a subsequent recession and poor management, the market is saturated – and could be for years to come – with permits that give companies the right to emit carbon without penalty.” Well, Europe itself is an expensive failure these days so their carbon market should feel right at home.

Forget Texas. Don’t mess with this guy . . . at least not on Facebook. Warning: Language + firearms = awesome!

http://youtu.be/y4GE5ncARRE

Obama to cut nukes. It has been said that nuclear proliferation is like two men standing in a pool of gasoline arguing over who has the most matches. If Obama gets his way the argument will finally be settled. It will be the other fellow that has all the matches. And from that point forward the world will pretty much go the way he wants it to.

Obama On Failed Promise To Cut Deficit In Half: “Recession Turned Out To Be A Lot Deeper”. Who could possibly have forseen that the government spending more money than it was taking in wouldn’t lead to a reduction in the deficit? Looks like Khalid al Mansour wasted a perfectly good Harvard education on this moron.

It’s official: Chicago is nation’s corruption capital. “A University of Illinois study has found what many probably already suspected: Chicago is the corruption capital of the nation.” Nice job, professor. NOW how are we going to fund these lame studies?? Oh, the irony.

Obama’s OMB director undercuts legal case for Obamacare. OMB director Zients told Rep. Scott Garrett (R-NJ) that if someone making less than $200K opted not to carry health insurance as mandated by Obamacare, the fine associated with that decision is not a tax. But the administration’s case before the Supreme Court is that the mandate is Constitutional because it’s a tax and government has taxing power. Maybe it’s a quantum particle shapeshifter thingy and changes whenever someone looks at it. Whatzit gonna be next? Look, now it’s Barry’s golf scorecard!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5KuTNQIDQ8&feature=player_embedded

FCC moves to kill LightSquared over GPS interference concerns. “…government testing showed LightSquared’s network would cause widespread problems with GPS devices, including ones used by pilots to prevent their airplanes from crashing.” Reality trumps politics when bureaucrats and politicians find their own asses on the line.

Obama wants cheaper pennies and nickels. In 2011, it cost 2.4 cents to make one penny and 11.2 cents for each nickel, so Obama wants to find a cheaper metal mix. What for? Spending twice as much as something is worth sounds exactly like his energy policy, the Stimulus, Obamacare, etc, etc.

Gallup: health costs, gov’t regulations curb small business hiring. Small businesses asked why are you NOT looking for new employees, 48% indicated “worried about the potential cost of healthcare” and 46% indicated “worried about new government regulations.” Yeah, that’s what they say but the real reason is raaaaacism.

Detroit has been dubbed “the most liberal city in America” where progressive policies still prevail. Howzat workin’ out? In 1950, Detroit was the wealthiest city in America on a per capita income basis. Now, the 2nd poorest after Cleveland. Yeah, but it’s not the policies, it’s the implementation. What do you call something that nobody seems to be able to do correctly? In the real world, we call something like that “unworkable.” In politics, we call it “progressive.”

State agent inspects sack lunches, forces preschoolers to purchase cafeteria food instead. The girl’s turkey and cheese sandwich, banana, potato chips, and apple juice did not meet U.S. Department of Agriculture guidelines, according to the lunch inspector. Well, if the kid needed a vegetable, it sounds like there was one close by – inspecting her lunch.

Gone with the wind? Hurricanes could destroy the offshore wind farms the US is planning to build in the Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico. Yeah, but that means we’ll just have to re-build them again! Stimulus! Sounds like a feature, not a bug (unless you live somewhere where your power will be out for a few years until the wind farm gets rebuilt.)

Slick Willie Struggled to Deal With Lewinsky Affair. BFD. Jaunita Broddrick had to deal with being raped. Which, we imagine, is a damn site more tragic than being forced to tell the truth. Even if you are Bill Clinton.

Obama’s Valentine’s Day advice to America: Go big. America’s election day advice to Obama: Go away.