I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Tourette’s-like syndrome sweeps through rural New York town. Finally, a possible explanation for the behavior of Anthony Weiner, the verbal gaffes of Joe Biden, and President Obama’s golf game.

Ingenious Obama plan to balance the budget: Charge Americans to renounce their citizenship. You have to give Obama credit where credit is due: This is genius. A record number of Americans renounced their citizenship last year. So Obama has increased the fee for renunciation paperwork to $450. In one move, he has (a) decreased the budget deficit, and (b) reinforced the reason most of those Americans left in the first place. Everybody wins. Like we said, genius.

Report: Obama rehearsed for his “spontaneous” singing debut at the Apollo Theatre for days. Even brought in a voice coach? God forbid he work that hard at his job… and we mean that. The less work he actually does, the better off we are. So plug your ears and play for a few months of encores.

Justice Ginsburg to Egyptian TV: You probably don’t want to use our Constitution as a model. One must certainly wonder why this individual holds so much antipathy for our founding document. Perhaps it is because The Constitution anticipated the rise of such tyrants and, once upon a time, served as our truest guarantee against them.

http://youtu.be/vzog2QWiVaA

Gallup: Mississippi Most Conservative State, D.C. Most Liberal. Memo to Gallup. DC is not a state.

President Barack Obama Friday welcomed data showing unemployment fell, and warned Congress not to “muck up” the recovery by thwarting his economic policies. Hmm the stock market is doing a little better than abysmal because Facebook went public and the price of shares (like the price of bread) must reindex itself upwards every time the value of the dollar drops while “unemployment” is down because in the Obama Nation people that are involuntarily unemployed do not always count as being unemployed. And based on these spurious metrics of “economic recovery” Barry is advising Congress not to muck things up. Well Mr. pResident we’d like to give you some advice too: go muck yourself . . . and the Reggie Love you rode in on.

New York Times loses $40million in 2011. “The company’s loss was blamed on the terminal decline in print advertising.” Not to mention the terminal decline in the quality of their “product”. Maybe Obama can give them a subsidy to make solar panels – they already seem to have the necessary skills (i.e. the ability to blow enormous amounts of money quickly.)

Israeli official: Iranian base that exploded was working on missile to reach the US. Makes sense, the 12th Imam can’t get here by Air Israel, can he? Or maybe because we have no diplomatic relations with Iran, they need a reliable way to send Obama the answers to his overtures: “Mr. President, the answer to your request to meet with President Aminneedofaboobjob is INCOMING…”

Scam-a-rama: The FCC just approved “cheap” internet for the poor. We warned you that it was coming and now it’s here. It was a unanimous vote. All the commissioners said, “You know, what we really need to go along with that free government cell phone scam is a cheap internet program that can eventually become a free internet program. This article says it perfectly. Lord save us.

UN wants World Tax to “help the poor.” The UN, to co-opt economist Peter Bauer’s line, is “an excellent method for transferring money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.” They haven’t given up on the global warming scam either. When’s the UN 3-card-monte game start?

‘What about McDonald’s in the Pentagon?: Extraordinary top secret call between FBI and Scotland Yard ‘tapped’ by Anonymous. We guess McDonald’s must be way better than the food in the Pentagon cafeteria and British food. Sounds like Inspector Clouseau could do a better job of securing their e-mail, too.

Brian Terry’s mother to Holder: You’re “a joke” and a “coward.” If “I know nooooothing” AG Holder is Sgt. Schultz, does that make Obama Colonel Klink? Just wondering.

Unemployment rate falls to 8.3%. The MSM will be trumpeting the 8.3% rate as evidence the economy is improving (and reason to reelect their boyfriend Barry) but it’s really a reflection of even more people leaving the labor force. If BO can get enough unemployed job seekers to retire or go live under bridges, the headline U3 number will be 5% by election day.

Geithner: Dodd-Frank critics are toying with another financial meltdown: Yeah, like we’re really supposed to trust the guy that couldn’t figure out how to use Turbo Tax.

Staten Island Chuck: Early spring in sight. The things celebrities have to do… like being forced to do a photo shoot with a dirty, smelly, corrupt politician…

Roseanne Barr seeks Green Party presidential nod. Based upon photos, eating enough food for 10 people isn’t what we consider green. However, it is fitting she’s a comedian, as if she’s elected it will be a joke.

Man arrested for stealing glacial ice. “A man was arrested in Chile for allegedly stealing more than 5 tons of ice from the Jorge Montt Glacier to sell for use in cocktails, police say. Police intercepted a refrigerated truck Friday with more than $6,100 worth of ice.” What?! There’s still glacial ice?! I’ll take mine shaken, not stirred.

Fed chief Bernanke issues debt warning. How is Congress supposed to reduce the debt when every time you turn around Obama is asking for another trillion?

What does Obama do all day? Obama’s decision-making method as described in a New Yorker piece seems to consist mainly of checking boxes on memos his aides have written for him. Sounds like he makes “decisions” the way folks order food at the fast-food drive thru, except the clown mouth is his own. “Hey, no pickles or oil pipelines with that!”

Saudi Arabia: Christians Arrested at Private Prayer. Just imagine the whining, bitching and moaning if the US Government raided a mosque, arrested all the Muslims and deported them. CAIR and the MSM would come unglued.

Will an investigation of the Nobel Peace Prize committee lead to a revocation of President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize of 2009? Doubtful. For one thing, in doing so they would admit to having made a stupid mistake 3 years ago and for another thing, it would be RAAAAACIST! Still, it’s encouraging to see the effects of the Obama kool aid are not permanent in everyone.

FBI agents chainsaw through mother’s front door and hold her at gunpoint for 30 minutes after raiding WRONG apartment. You’d think that after a 2 year investigation they’d at least get the correct apartment! Well, at least they didn’t shoot the poor dog. Operation Can’t Count?

TSA agent charged with stealing $5k in cash from a passenger’s jacket at JFK Int’l Airport, the latest in a string of thefts. Another Transportation Stealing Agent. It’s what gubbermint usually does to us these days, the only difference is that this crook didn’t get Obama’s approval first.

Why several hundred thousand jobs are about to “vaporize”. Don’t panic – the BLS has a statistical model that attempts to account for the birth and death of businesses in its job numbers. Every January, it revises the number, usually to the downside: avg of last 5 years is -335K. If the gubbermint’s job numbers last year seemed at bit phoney to you, this model is part of the reason why.

At National Prayer Breakfast, Obama grounds his controversial policies in the Bible. Tax hikes for rich “[coincide] with Jesus’s teaching.” Umm, and maybe Krishna told him to revive dead auto companies, Allah guides his foreign policy and Buddha is the inspiration for his constant vacationing. Talk about your religious nuts. What happened to separation of church and state?