I HATE THE MEDIA ™

“The President is beginning to be a parody of himself.” Newt Gingrich guests with Laura Ingraham and notes that President Obama is beginning to sound like a parody of himself. While that may be true, no one’s laughing at this parody. No one.

Read the Solyndra e-mails. Want to read the e-mails flying around the Obama administration about Solyndra? Now’s your chance. Hot off the press today from the Republican Energy Committee.

Two Denver men charged after taking their dead friend for a ride. A Weekend at Bernie’s comes alive! Or is that dead? Anyway, their friend didn’t care. He was so tired he was dead on his feet.

Quick someone report this video to Attack Watch. It is a SMEAR!

Boehner: Talking to Obama Like Talking to Someone From Another Planet Yeah, the Red’s Planet.

This year marks the 70th anniversary of the classic movie, Citizen Kane, which many consider to be the greatest movie ever made. Just don’t ask Obama to explain the significance of “Rosebud”. No doubt President Puffnstuff thinks it’s one of the things he and Larry Sinclair used to smoke in the back of the limo.

It’s official, Michelle Obama is the Fry Nazi. We hate to say it but we liked her royal thighness a lot more when she was just patient dumping and living high off our dime.

Obama’s ‘Jobs Bill’ Makes ACORN Eligible for $15 Billion in Taxpayer Money. Oink! Oink! Sooeee! Soooeee! The community organizing pigs again line up to feast at the taxpayers’ trough.

Jimmy Carter endorses Romney for GOP nomination. “I’m not taking a position, but I would be very pleased to see him win the Republican nomination,” Carter said on an interview on MSNBC set to air Thursday night. -Jimmy Carter, a man who has spent the last 30 years answering questions no one asked him. BTW Jimmy, in the future if you want to help a given GOP candidate, you should just say you find his or her positions on the issues reprehensible. Hey, we’re just tryin’ to help.

The vagina’s growing public profile. All we can say is poor Chazz. He’s missing out on all of this now that he’s a he.

Nicolas Cage awoken by naked man with Fudgesicle. Talk about kinky! There’s just no telling what this guy wanted to do with that fudgesicle. Those Canadians sure are wierd, eh?

Tiny Japanese robot will attempt Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii. Afterward, the tiny little robot will get drunk and plug into the first friendly receptacle he sees, then respond to rumors that he used RGH (Robot Growth Hormone) to bulk up to seven inches.

‘Mohammed was a cult leader’: FBI teaches agents that ‘mainstream’ Muslims are violent and radical. Even the FBI doesn’t believe the religion of peace BS.

Trio of Democrats wants to eliminate debt ceiling because it’s dangerous. One of the three is Hank Johnson, the guy who thought Guam might tip over, so obviously the Dems have put their brain trust behind this bill.

Typo in romantic novel causes bowel movement during love scene. “He stiffened for a moment but then she felt his muscles loosen as he shitted on the ground.” As you can read below it’s “sizzling hot!” A sizzling hot turd I suppose? Must be a steamy novel to say the least.

 

Dr. Thomas Sowell: To help economy, don’t just do something, STAND THERE!“There was a stock market crash in October 1929 and unemployment shot up to 9% — for one month. Then unemployment started drifting back down until it was 6.3% in June 1930, when the first major federal intervention took place. That was the Smoot-Hawley tariff bill…”Yeah, no Porkulus, no Solyndra, no TARP, no GM bailout, and no opportunity for the pols to grease the palms of favored constituencies.

Henry Waxman says Jews are only going Republican because “they want to protect their wealth.” Which brings up an interesting philosophical question: can a Jewish congressman be anti-Semitic?

In Not-so-Great-Britain, kids who use petty jibes are now being treated as thought criminals by education authorities.Over 30,000 British schoolchildren, some as young as three, have had their names registered on a government database and branded “racist” or “homophobic” for using playground insults, infractions that could impact their future careers. Last one out of the UK, turn out the lights. Well, never mind, they already seem to be in the dark there.

LA Porn Studio Begins Construction On ‘Post-Apocalyptic’ Underground Bunker. “…with amenities such as multiple fully-stocked bars, an enormous performing stage and a sophisticated content production studio.” It’s hard to choose what to put in an underground bunker… but stocked bars and a performing stage are at the top of most lists. Oh, the production studio – coming soon… “Survival Sue in Arma-get-it-on!”

Michigan to begin tracking children’s weight.“In an attempt to combat Michigan’s childhood obesity epidemic, Gov. Rick Snyder announced Wednesday that the state would begin tracking kids’ body mass index through the Michigan Care Improvement Registry.”Things are going so well in Michigan, they’ve got extra time to think about things like this.

What should the White House do? Panic! How bad is it? It’s so bad that even long time Democrat strategist James Carville is having an Obama panic attack after losing elections in New York and Nevada.

Obama urges African American journalists to push “jobs” bill. “I need people to get out there and support this. If Congress doesn’t get it done, we know exactly who is holding this up.” Translation: My plan for re-coronation in 2012 is to concoct a stupid “plan” not even my own party in Congress can stomach and when they rightfully refuse to even consider the POS, I can label them a “Do Nothing Congress” and run against them as my strawmen just like Truman did. Of course, none of this would be necessary if you were still buying “Bush’s fault”….

Obama: “Folks will look back and say, ‘You know, he wasn’t a bad captain of the ship.’” “Ultimately,” President Obama said, “I’m going to be judged by whether we have stayed focused on making sure that this economy is moving in the right direction. And like the captain of a ship in a storm, you know, when the ship is rocking and people are getting hurt, they’re not going to be happy, no matter how good the captain’s doing. Now, my hope is that when we are on the other side of it, folks will look back and say, “You know, he wasn’t a bad captain of the ship.” The Captain of the Titanic said the same thing.

“If you love me, you’ll help me pass this bill.” Is it just us or does President Obama sound like a teenage boy in the back seat of a Buick trying to convince his reluctant girlfriend to have sex. “If you love me, you’ll prove it.” In both cases, somebody’s getting screwed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoJK7PymvtA

Gore spokesperson ducks debate at last minute. To quote Gomer Pyle “Surprise, surprise, surprise!”