Just a joke, Contessa. Don’t get your nose out of joint, because then you won’t be able to snort coke with it. Oh, these jokes are just hilarious, aren’t they? Certainly nothing for you and Sarah Palin to get upset about.
Excuse us. We’ve been laughing so hard that we need to stop to catch our breath. (PAUSE) That one was a real rib tickler. Sarah Palin should just lighten up and learn to take a joke like our girl Contessa.
We hear she loves to show the officers her privates, if you know what we mean. Pretty funny stuff, huh, Contessa? You were absolutely right. It’s fun to say hurtful stuff as long as it’s funny hurtful stuff. What’s wrong with that Sarah Palin?
David Letterman’s “Top Ten Highlights of Sarah Palin’s Trip to New York” called Gov. Palin slutty and joked that her daughter got knocked up by A-Rod in the 7th inning of a baseball game. But that’s just fine with MSNBC’s Contessa Brewer. While interviewing conservative host John Ziegler this morning, she said it’s really no big deal, it’s just comedy, and in fact she herself has been called a slut before and she said “I’m fine, I’m still here.”
We’re sure then, that Contessa won’t mind us calling her whorish, since she’s taking it for the team and getting paid for it.
Top Ten Highlights Of Sarah Palin’s Trip To New York
10. Visited New York landmarks she normally only sees from Alaska
9. Laughed at all the crazy-looking foreigners entering the U.N.
8. Made moose jerky on Rachael Ray
7. Keyed Tina Fey’s car
6. After a wink and a nod, ended up with a kilo of crack
5. Made coat out of New York City rat pelts
4. Sat in for Kelly Ripa. Regis couldn’t tell the difference.
3. Finally met one of those Jewish people Mel Gibson’s always talking about
2. Bought makeup from Bloomingdale’s to update her “slutty flight attendant” look
Based on the really strange photos in the April issue of Details magazine, Alex Rodriguez has found his one true love. And it turns out to be none other than Alex Rodriguez.
Now we realize this guy has never been mistaken for a genius. And we realize that some people think Madonna looks like she’s been rode too hard and put away wet (did that line reveal too much about the childhood years we spent on the farm?). And we realize the baseball season is long and arduous and a man can get lonely on a two-week road trip to Detroit, Cleveland, and Baltimore.
But putting all that aside, what the hell was this Rodriguez thinking when he posed for these photos?
Ahh, we just realized the problem. We mistakenly thought there was thought involved. But then we remembered this was A-Rod.