Oprah’s weepin’ again. Her South Africa boarding school rocked by another sex scandal.

tear_oprah Two years ago, TV talk show queen Oprah Winfrey was said to have “wept” when she learned of a sex scandal at her elite South African girl’s boarding school. Well, break out the Kleenex, because she has another sex scandal on her hands.

Seven, count ‘em seven, students have been suspended for sexually harassing other students at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy School for Girls.

One 15-year-old girl was accused of…uh…imposing herself on another girl. Investigators say she also lied about it and coerced other girls to lie about it. Additionally, another group of girls were caught…uh…fondling each other or recruiting others to join them in “lesbian liaisons.”

A spokesperson for the TV talk queen admitted the girls had been given the boot. “It is because they contravened the school’s code of conduct,” she noted. “We regard the incident as confidential.”

Sad as this incident is, we’re sure it will give Winfrey several hours worth of programming. She’ll weep. She’ll apologize. She’ll be outraged. She’ll consult with Dr. Phil. She’ll talk to Dr. Oz. She’ll write a book about it.

And then she’ll give everyone in the audience a car and call it even.

Source: New York Daily News via Drudge Report

Boohoo. New government website helps people who are sad and crying

But what if your depression is caused by the administration, not the economy?
But what if your depression is caused by the administration, not the economy?

Are you sad? Are your spirits lower than your bank balance? Are you as depressed as the economy? Fear not. It’s Obama to the rescue. Because as all good Americans know, there is nothing this 21st century Superman cannot do.

Our thanks to Drudge for breaking the news of this latest nanny state fiasco:

The U.S. government is set to offer an online emotional rescue kit!

“Getting Through Tough Economic Times” will launch Tuesday with a media push across all platforms.

The site is meant to help people identify health concerns related to financial worries.

The feds will warn of depression, suicidal thinking and other serious mental illnesses. It will raise warning flags for: Persistent sadness/crying; Excessive anxiety; Lack of sleep/constant fatigue; Excessive irritability/anger.

The only problem is trying to remember the government’s catchy URL:

samhsa.gov/economy

May we respectfully suggest some catchier, snappier, more memorable URLs?

How about ImMoreDepressedThanMyIRA.gov. Or My401KsNotOK.gov. Or CradleToGraveHappiness.gov. Or our personal favorite, NannyState.gov.

Feel free to use them, President Obama.

Source: DrudgeReport.com

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