We find ourselves at the point in American history where two remarkably talented American women are simultaneously being considered for important positions as judges.
We speak, of course, of Sonia Sotomayor and Paula Abdul.
Unbeknownst to most Americans, the similarities between these two women are amazing. Far more amazing than those Lincoln-Kennedy comparisons that make the rounds every few years. For example:
- Their first names both contain five letters.
- They were both born in June (Paula on June 19, Sonia on June 25).
- Both are the children of immigrants. Paula’s father was Syrian and her mother was Canadian. Sonia’s parents were Puerto Rican.
- Paula will soon find out if she will continue judging American Idol, the top-rated TV program in the United States. Sonia will soon find out if she will sit on the top court in the United States.
- Paula always admired the Supremes, while Sonia always admired the Supreme Court.
- Paula choreographed the Laker Girls and Sonia’s appearance before the Senate Judicial Committee was completely choreographed.
- Both pursued their careers after being inspired by Hollywood. Paula’s hero was Gene Kelly, while Sonia’s hero was Hamilton Burger.
- Paula is known for dancing while American Idol contestants perform, while Sonia is known for dancing around the Constitution.
- Paula is known for making irrational statements while announcing her decisions, while Sonia is known for irrational statements in her written decisions.
- Paula is often overruled by Randy and Simon, while Sonia is often overruled by the Supreme Court.
- Paula has been accused of screwing one of the contestants she was expect to judge, while Sonia has been accused of screwing over those she was expected to judge.
- Paula was a cheerleader in high school, while Sonia has been a cheerleader for a radical Puerto Rican group.
- Paula had been forgotten by the American public until she began appearing on the TV show American Idol, while Sonia was unknown by the American people until she appeared on television during her Senate confirmation hearings.
- Paula expects a raise to $20 million for being an American Idol judge, while Sonia expects a raise to $208,100 for sitting on the Supreme Court.
What are the odds?
In a move sure to make thousands of singers wish they were dead, American Idol judge has announced that he wants to live forever.