After five million dollar wedding for daughter, Mugabe wants a raise. Before you laugh, consider: East African elected and re-elected in crooked elections, bankrupted his country once he was in office, violates the constitution regularly, assassinates his fellow citizens, and maintains an extravagant lifestyle bankrolled by the public treasury… sound familiar?

Dear Obamacare buyers in Wisconsin:

I’m so glad you participated in our new health insurance system! Welcome to the future! Unfortunately, I have some bad news. 52 of you think you have coverage but actually do not have coverage… and what’s worse, we don’t know who you are. That’s messed up, I know. Don’t worry, if you’re one of that 52 you’ll find out the next time you’re sick. Good luck!
Sincerely, Barack Obama.

Obama’s bracket will be released Wed. the presidential bracket will be used for ACA messaging this year, WH says. Apparently it’s not a joke… well, it’s not a new joke, it’s part of the same 5+ year-old joke.

NY Times: Obama has become “poisonous” to Democrats. From the comments: “I spoke to a Manhattan friend the other day – he’s the Gold Standard of Old School Leftism. He’s pig biting mad at ObamaCare. Not because it doesn’t go far enough, but because it’s destroying his ability to pay his bills. It’s dawned on him that ObamaCare means money for rent, Obamacare, food and not much else. Mind you, he repeatedly insisted he wasn’t becoming a Republican, but that he’s certainly not going to vote next election.” Hit ’em where it hurts, Barky.

Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps Sr. “on the edge of death,” son says. It looks to us like (as always) God will soon have the last laugh, not Phelps.

Bill Maher calls God a “psychotic mass murderer” who “drowns babies.” That is Bill’s intellectual interpretation of the story of Noah… suggesting a theological background short on nuance and long on Saturday morning cartoons.

Associate professor wants Global Warming deniers arrested. “My argument probably raises an understandable, if misguided, concern regarding free speech,” concedes Lawrence Torcello. Gee, ya think?

SOMALI SUICIDE BOMBER KILLS SELF. Premature detonation? We wonder if this dude had other problems? He’ll probably get 72 virgin pigs.

Hollywood rallies for lower taxes… on Hollywood. “Warner Bros, FilmLA, the city and county of Los Angeles and the national labor union representing working actors are just a few of the traditionally left-wing entities that have formally voiced their support of lowering taxes on film makers.” N, Obama and Gov. Moonbeam say high taxes and lotsa regulations CREATE jobs and STIMULATE the economy, so these people are obviously racist teabaggers.

MSNBC reassures its viewers: “Don’t worry, Obama is still popular in Kenya.”

While Russia mobilizes military, Obama whines about mom jeans. “I’ve been unfairly maligned about my jeans,” said Mr. Macho in a radio interview. “The truth is, generally, I look very sharp in jeans.”

Once again, Obama administration says, “Don’t cross this line!” And once again the world chuckles and replies, “Or what?”

Republican challenger in South Carolina calls Lindsey Graham “ambiguously gay.” We give Dave Feliciano credit for his moxie but question his accuracy – what does he mean by “ambiguously”?

Hmmm… More evidence that Flight 370 was intentionally diverted… but why? “Gen. Tom McInerney casually wondered this morning on Fox News whether maybe jihadis targeted the plane because they need a delivery mechanism for, er, a nuclear weapon.” Feh, just a distraction, unlike climate change which is really real and will harm us in a couple of centuries if we don’t get busy. Oh, and Koch!

Obama: ‘Many folks’ will lose their doctors under Obamacare. If you like your liar, you can keep your liar. We’re having trouble here. Has he told more lies or played more golf games?

Reid blames Ukraine standoff on Kochs. Harry Reid is a Koch addict. Make that just addict.

The fundamental value of the Ukraine crisis: some hard truths about how the world is, was and probably ever will be. Such as: “Weakness invites aggression: Russia saw an opening to take what they have wanted… All they needed was for the time to be ripe. Kiev in chaos, NATO weak and thin, and the USA led by the C-team.” Is that “c” for “climate change”?

Patriot Act Author: CIA Spying Is ‘Almost Nixonian’: And by “Nixonian” he obviously means far worse than anything Nixon ever did.

The “irony” of Obamacare: making inequality worse. “It likely never dawned on [Obama supporters] that reducing inequality could also mean lowering everyone to the same low level, making the middle class more like the poor.” Well, you didn’t really expect King BO to redistribute his .00001% cronies’ dough, did you?

Federal committee devising new dietary guidelines based on… climate change. Because cow farts add methane, you murderous denier. Overlooked in this scenario: people fart as well, probably even more so on an all-vegetable diet (beans, anyone?) The biggest source of toxic carbon pollution: political vegetables.

The next step: transgendered soldiers. A study commission led by former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders determined there is “no compelling medical reason” for banning transgendered Americans from the military.

Follow the money. Fugitive bankers from Ecuador flee to the U.S. with millions, donate heavily to Obama’s re-election campaign, somehow get residency status even though they are convicted criminal fugitives, and then, lo and behold, Eric Holder denies Ecuador’s request for extradition.

70% of U.S. spending is writing checks to individuals. “…the government has become primarily a massive money-transfer machine, taking $2.6 trillion from some and handing it back out to others.” Well, they’re not just writing checks, they’re buying votes.

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee: The Constitution is 400-Years-Old. Her brain must be a -400 IQ, assuming she has one.

Oh, by the way: Obama just quietly suspended ObamaCare’s individual mandate until 2016. “…the new and improved ‘hardship’ exemption isn’t limited to people who used to have insurance. Anyone can claim it, purely on their own say-so that they can’t afford it…” ObamaCare eating itself, because no one else can swallow it.