I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Stocks finish worst month of the year. Yes we can’t!

Australian billionaire plans to build Titanic II. Sink me once shame on you, sink me twice, shame on me. You won’t see us sailing on this thing.

Top EPA official resigns over ‘crucify’ comment. Instant Karma’s gonna get you…Gonna knock you right on the head.

BILL CLINTON: Mitt Romney’s Policies Are George W. Bush ‘On Steroids’. There goes Slick Willie again. Throwing some red meat to the base. Never mind the fact that nearly every bad decision Bush ever made has been doubled down on by the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Of course after the trashing the Clinton’s got back in 2008 it must really pain the man to put on this show. The Obama camp must know where the bodies are buried . . . literally.

Obama has held more re-election fundraisers than previous five Presidents combined. What’s even more pathetic is a UK media outlet is the only one that noticed. Our gallant US journolists are busy trying to answer the eternal question, “Is it better to take your head out of your butt or to curse the darkness?” We think we know their answer.

Jimmy Kimmel skewers Olbermann: Some pretty funny stuff. And we’d especially like to thank the man for helping make the ever important point about the left’s hypocrisy. After all that is exactly what you call it when a group of people rage against jokes questioning the sexual orientation of one of their darlings while . . . well lets just say their laughter in this matter is deafening.

May Day: Occupy plans “global disruption.” Expect more public pooping, rapes, robberies and murders as Occupy “helps” the common man by making it impossible for him to do business or get to work. Watch as a sycophantic, credulous media gushes over the proceedings like a bunch of star-struck teenagers fawning over a rock star. And, if public sympathy for some reason turns favorable for these idiots, expect Democrook politicians to come out of the woodwork claiming they were with them all along. Occu-puke.

Believe it or not, Dan Rather still thinks the Bush memos are real. Never mind that they were printed in a Microsoft Word font that didn’t exist yet, and never mind that all experts (even the CBS ones) say they’re fake, Dan Rather thinks they’re real. And Dan Rather is a legendary journalist, right?

Obama borrows campaign slogan from MSNBC. No, needs something else… How about “Bend Forward”?

Political foot-dragging in Corzine probe? “…the probers no doubt want to do the right thing, but the heads of the investigative agencies can hardly be described as impartial. Many are presidential appointees or at least have a vested interest in helping Obama avoid a major embarrassment.” Yeah, if only Corzine would switch parties, then these guys would be on him like Obama’s teeth marks on a pit bull.

Wind farms can cause climate change, finds new study. The law of unintended consequences strikes again! It’s logical; windmills convert wind energy to electricity and some additional energy is lost due to mechanical friction, blade intertia, etc. Thus, windmills reduce the amount of energy available as wind – wind is one driver of weather so if you drain off enough wind energy, you change the weather. Defcon 5 Irony alert!

Bloomberg (the Idiot Mayor, not the News Service) Strikes Again: NYC Buys Chevy Volt Police Cars. The nanny mayor turns into the ninny mayor.

Obama got Osama, but lost the Middle East. “There is almost nowhere in the Middle East that the United State is better off than it was four years ago… Yet Obama and his campaign team trot out Osama bin Laden to cure all those political ills, and as political cover for a failed presidency.” So, the candidate with a resume the size of a postage stamp has a list of accomplishments just as small as president. Who coulda predicted that…..

NPR asks: “Is slow growth actually good for the economy?” Yeah, slow growth, high gas prices, 15% real unemployment and a ballooning national debt are signs of health in the economy, but only when an incompetent empty-suit Democrat president NPR wishes to re-elect is in office.

Royal Society publishes new “People and the planet report.” Surprise, surprise, they want developed countries to consume less, they want us to have fewer babies, they want those of who live in the suburbs to move into the cities, and they want to reduce wealth inequality. In other words, they like North Korea.

TSA screener asks 79-year-old if she’s wearing a sanitary napkin. When she answered no, he announced loudly, “There’s an anomaly in the crotch area!” It’s probably rude to generalize, but there also seems to be an anomaly in the average TSA screener’s brain area.

Anti-Bullying Speaker Curses Christian Teens. Dan Savage should write a new book and title it ‘My Hypocrisy Knows No Bounds.”

Vacation backlash: Blue collar Dems jealous, angry at Obamas. “Blue collar Dem voters, taking depressing ‘staycations’ because they can’t afford gas and hotels, are resentful of the first family’s 17 lavish vacations around the world and don’t want their tax dollars paying for the Obamas’ holidays…” Obama doesn’t have to care about the price of gas because we’re paying for his. Let’s tax presidential freebies! As someone once said, “It’s not about revenue, it’s about fairness.”

House Republicans prep Contempt of Congress charge against Eric Holder. Holder lied, hundreds died. Another official, Assistant Attorney General Ronald Weich, will be resigning his position in July. Drain the swamp!

Biden says something incredibly stupid. Well, there’s something you don’t see every day… he often takes weekends off. Speak bigly and carry a soft stick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMRYuq4-PqI&feature=player_embedded

Barack Obama, The Road We Really Traveled. Andrew Klavan and Bill Whittle skewer and parody Barack Obama’s “Road We Traveled” campaign video. No dogs were injured (or consumed) in the making of this film.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aR1ekUSfyU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

CIA memo reveals Admiral McRaven, not Obama, controlled Bin Laden mission. “The memo puts all control in the hands of Admiral McRaven… the notion that Obama and his team were walking through every stage of the operation is incorrect. The hero here was McRaven, not Obama. And had the mission gone wrong, McRaven surely would have been thrown under the bus.” Well, only if they couldn’t pin it on George Bush.

Outrage as Egypt plans ‘farewell intercourse law’ so husbands can have sex with DEAD wives up to six hours after their death. This gives a whole new meaning to your wife being frigid.

Secret Service investigating another overseas trip. The ‘secret’ must really be what kind of ‘service’ some of them are getting.

Michelle Obama: “Fantasy” Is To Walk Out WH “And Just Keep Walking.” She’s unhappy because “It is hard to sneak around and do what you want” with all those Secret Service types keeping tabs on her, ya know. Well, we feel your pain, Ms. Obama, we really do… and we’re gonna do our best to help you realize your dream (and ours) come January 2013.