I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Duke Energy warns customers to not use EV charging stations after fire involving Siemens charger and a Chevy Volt. Investigators are not certain either the charger or the car is the cause of the fire, but they’re warning folks not to use similar Siemens chargers for the time being. EVs are truly cars for the well-to-do, not only because the price is a bit steep but the well-off are the only ones who can afford to do without their cars for a couple of weeks and have the money to replace the garage that the charger may have burned down. Nuance.

Petitioning the Obama Administration: We demand a vapid, condescending, meaningless, politically safe response to this petition. “…we demand that the White House immediately assign a junior staffer to compose a tame and vapid response to this petition, and never attempt to take any meaningful action on this or any other issue. We would also like a cookie.” At last, an expectation the Obama White House will be able to meet. The one before the cookie, we mean.

#occupy Burger King: bunch of noisy idiots ruin lunch for some of Oakland’s 99%. What are these half-wits protesting at Burger King, their failure to employ puppeteers at the condiment bar? Speaking truth to pickles? Memo to occu-tards: all the big money people eat at places with waiters where a meal costs as much as a BK employee’s day’s wages. If you’re gonna protest wealth and priviledge, at least choose the correct target. And by the way, as long as you’re here, use the effing bathroom instead of crapping the in street.

Chinese distance themselves from Eurozone bailout, saying Europeans are kinda lazy. Jin Liqun, head of China’s sovereign wealth fund: “I think if you look at the troubles which happened in European countries, this is purely because of the accumulated troubles of their worn out welfare societies. I think the labour laws are outdated – the labour laws induce sloth, indolence rather than hard working. The incentive system is totally out of whack.” Memo to Merkel and Sarkozy: the check is NOT in the mail. Occupy China?

#occupylavatory – St Paul’s staff have to clean up human waste INSIDE the cathedral as protestors “use it as a latrine.” Maybe their motto should be “The world is our toilet.” It appears that regardless of what they say (and however incoherent it is), the demand that seems to emerge most consistently from the various “occupations” is for a place to crap. If Michael Moore joins in, some city’s gonna be in deep s**t.

Robert De Niro to star as Bernie Madoff. Sure Bernie was sort of a d-bag. But come on Bobbie De Niro, Madoff hasn’t taken dollar one from us. So grow a pair and do a movie about the real ponzi scheme that is going to drag this country down . . . you know, social security.

Revolt! Now Democrats want Obama off ballot. “One-third of Democrats and independents who lean to the left side of the field are unhappy with Barack Obama as the party’s standard-bearer.” Looks like Obama is so bad he’s losing his luster with his own party.

Members Of Congress Increased Personal Wealth 25% In Two Years. “Three years ago, the collective net worth all representatives and senators was $1.65 billion. By 2010, this amount had increased to more than $2 billion, representing nearly a 25% bump.” Amazing? Nope. See, they’re conveniently exempt from insider trading laws.

Senior officials of the North Korean secret police (NSA, National Security Agency) have been arrested for taking bribes to enable people to escape to China. Better let Jimmy Carter, Ted Turner, Michael Moore, Sean Penn et al know! Hey guys, you can all move to the world’s fairest, most benevolent and egalitarian people’s democracy now, there’s room! Dear Leader Kim Jong Il rocks, baby! Whoo, whoo!

UN nuclear watchdog to release report on activities this week; Iran has carried out experiments in the final, critical stage for developing nuclear weapons – weaponization. Memo to President Obama… Mission Accomplished! Your foreign policy worked as well as your economic policies have. FYI: 6/4/2008 Presidential candidate Barack Obama said on Wednesday Iran posed a serious threat in the Middle East and vowed to stop it from acquiring a nuclear weapon. But he said “acquiring” not “developing”.

Obama makes an appearance at Zuccotti Park. Funny, he’s looking more impressive and intelligent to us now that he ever has in the past. Must be that healthy diet Moochelle has got him on.

Why does Keith “Muslim Brotherhood” Ellison want to outlaw voter identification? Maybe some of those Somali cab drivers at the Mineapolis airport are having trouble voting before they head off to foreign parts to become suicide bombers.

When Prius owners attack! For some time now it has been a pretty open secret that the production of the Prius is so damaging that the final product is already one of the most environmentally destructive vehicles ever made . . .even before it has been driven mile one. It has also been noted that -as any surplus in oil that the vehicle might be responsible for is quickly eaten up by China and subsequently used to occupy Tibet- the car is a racist hate machine of imperialist oppression. Which makes it all the funnier to watch this eco-fascist as she tries to impose her irresponsible ways onto other people and then attacks them when they don’t immediately comply. Personally we think there are some underlying issues here that go beyond her rabid liberalism. Like the fact that nobody asked her to the prom and the Quickie Mart was all out of mini-donuts.

http://youtu.be/CVdMySWfAIQ

Not sold on Mitt. Apparently some conservatives are not convinced that Mitt has what it takes to beat Obama. We’re not convinced that Obromney has what it takes period.

Van Jones Brings Green Jobs Message To Occupy Movement. Finally! Van Jones comes up with something we can agree with! Since most of the green manufacturing jobs are in China, let’s ship the OWS babies over there to work. This kills two birds with one stone. They get jobs and we get rid of them.

Thank you for signing the petition asking the Obama Administration to acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence here on Earth. Breaking news from whitehouse.gov: “The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race.” Too busy for Solynda or Fast and Furious, but not for ETs. And truthfully, we thought that petition was asking the Obama Admin to acknowledge they are an extraterrestrial presence here on Earth.

Getting ready for little Weiner… Pregnant Huma is all smiles as she steps out with disgraced Congressman. Isn’t a little weiner what got her in this condition to begin with?

Fed Planning QE3?: Don’t look now but it seems that the Fed might be planning some more economic tinkering. Just the sort that always seems to explode our cost of living by destroying the value of our dollars. And it occurs to us that the actions of the government and the Fed over this crisis should forever put to bed this myth that capitalism promotes materialism and consumerism above all else. If we had capitalism in this country the price of money would revalue itself to make it more difficult to consume. It would make it more advantageous to save. And this trend would continue until actual wealth could again support spending. But we don’t have capitalism in this country. We have something else entirely. A system that punishes savings by devaluing the currency. A system that promotes materialism and consumption above all else by first making the money cheaper than it should be, borrowing from other countries to extend the spending that wealth cannot provide for and finally -when both of those other options have failed- cranking up the printing presses.

Obama tweaked Sarkozy about his looks, Sarkozy and his country were not especially amused. Obama congratulated the Sarkozys on the birth of their daughter by saying “…I informed Nicolas on the way in that I am confident that Giulia inherited her mother’s looks rather than her father’s, which I think is an excellent thing.” Yeah, sounds like much ado about nothing, but if Bush had said something like this, the left and their media puppets would be calling him “moron” non-stop for the next 6 months.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus speaks out against against Keystone XL pipeline. “Denying the permit for a brutally stupid, money-grab like the Keystone XL pipeline is a no-brainer, right Mr. President?” Correct, all the no-brainers like JLD are against it, as well as being against jobs and lower energy costs. The Chinese are waiting, hoping Obama listens to you no-brainers so they can buy that oil. The real advantage the Chinese have over us is that they don’t have a Hollywood.

Cocaine dealer avoids jail by pretending he is illegal Mexican immigrant and gets DEPORTED instead. “Alvarado was facing a sentence of up to 15 years but instead was deported, according to court records.” Next time you get pulled over just shrug and say – No speeka da englas.

Fatty foods addictive as cocaine in growing body of science. Now that the politicians have nationalized health care, they need a lot more money to pay for the bureaucratic boondoggle they’ve spawned. Gee, if “science” can make the case fat and sugar are bad for “the public health” then folks will accept the gubbermint taxing the crap out of the stuff. It’s “justified” because “we” are paying for the junk-food addicts’ “health care”, you see. This needs to be kicked to the curb before it becomes another “global warming” con.

Traders From Chicago Board Of Trade Dump McDonald’s Applications On Occupy Chicago Protesters. Unfortunately the joke was lost on the protesters because none of them had ever seen a job application before.

Top U.S. general fired after calling the Afghan government ‘isolated from reality’ and President Karzai ‘erratic.’ Change two words and it still rings true. Substitute United States for Afghan and Obama for Karzai.

Albright: Cain ‘didn’t call me’ because I’m female. We’re shocked! Shocked, to find out the former Secretary of State is a woman.