Tag: airplane

What the hell was that Qatari diplomat smoking?

Now we learn that the Qatari diplomat who was arrested for lighting up in the restroom aboard a flight bound for Denver may not have been lighting up a cigarette. He was lighting up a “one hitter.” Unless you’re talking about baseball, we don’t have the foggiest idea what a one hitter is. Shep Smith doesn’t seem to know, either.

Now we learn that the Qatari diplomat who was arrested for lighting up in the restroom aboard a flight bound for Denver may not have been lighting up a cigarette. He was lighting up a “one hitter.”

Unless you’re talking about baseball, we don’t have the foggiest idea what a one hitter is. Shep Smith doesn’t seem to know, either (although his denial seems a bit nuanced to us).

So we went to the ultimate source of all knowledge, the Oracle of Wikipedia, to find out.

A one hitter is a miniature pipe designed for a single inhalation, or “hit” of a smokable product, normally marijuana.

This pipe may be marketed together with a rectangular (or sometimes cylindrical) wooden case with two compartments, the larger to store the herb and a narrower, cylindrical compartment to store the pipe. The case is sometimes called a dugout, hitter box, pinch hitter, a pinchey, a tote-a-smoke, or a pinger (because it makes a “ping” sound when opened).

Just another public service from the folks at IHateTheMedia.com.

Source: Wikipedia

Bird flu didn’t materialize so government works up new “bird strike” scare

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZThquH5t0ow

The latest scare headline from the government is “Airplane ‘bird strikes’ have climbed dramatically, FAA records show.”

Is this really worth worrying about? Or have the number of incidents increased dramatically just because the number of flights has increased dramatically? And is the number of strikes really high enough to cause concern?

An article in the Los Angeles Times said:

Aircraft at Los Angeles International Airport struck birds or other animals in 940 instances from 1990 through 2008, according to data released Friday by the Federal Aviation Administration.

The strikes involved gulls, hawks, pigeons and other creatures hitting windshields, wings and stabilizer areas.

Only 36 of the incidents, or 3.8%, resulted in substantial damage, records show. There were no fatalities. At least five times, planes reported hitting foxes.

According to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, Air Transport World, there were 650,000 take offs and landings at LAX in 2007. The government bird strike report covers a 19-year period. That an average of just 49 animal contact incidents per year. (In addition to birds, the government report also included foxes and lizards but it’s highly unlikely that any of those animals got up in the air high enough to cause much engine damage).

That’s equal to one incident every 13,265 flights. And that doesn’t mean one bird-in-the-engine incident, because the report indicates that the impacts may well have been on the planes’ wings or stabilizers.

Although we’ll take 1 in 13,265 odds, liberals will not. They will demand that President Obama appoint a new government Bird Czar. He will call together a blue ribbon panel to study the matter and they will propose a new bird tax on all flyers to compensate the birds’ grieving families.

It won’t really solve the problem, but taxes liberal solutions never do.

Source: Los Angeles Times, Bureau of Transportation Statistics, Air Transport World

Cowardly Joe Biden wants you to hide in your house to avoid swine flu

Joe Biden stuck his piggies in his mouth this morning while discussing the swine flu on the Today Show.

“I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now. I would tell members of my family, and I have, I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now. It’s not that it’s going to Mexico, it’s you’re in a confined aircraft when one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That’s me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation suggesting they ride the subway. If you’re out in the middle of a field and someone sneezes that’s one thing. If you’re in a closed aircraft or a closed container or closed car or closed classroom it’s a different thing.”

Of course, a couple hours later the Cheap Veep’s people issued a statement saying Biden didn’t mean what he said. That’s not surprising, since no one in this administration really means anything they say.

We strongly recommend that you follow Joe’s advice. Don’t do anything. Just sit at home in your underwear and surf the net all day. Just don’t go starting any smartass blogs. We don’t want the competition.

Source: NBC News

Pilot makes porn while flying helicopter, license yanked

Helicopter porn busted by the Federal Aviation Administration. The FAA revoked David Keith Martz’ pilot license this week when they saw an online video in which Martz had sex with porn star Puma Swede while flying his helicopter over San Diego.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUOoBwa2AVA

The Federal Aviation Administration revoked David Keith Martz’ pilot license this week.

Martz got the FAA’s attention when they saw an online video in which Martz had sex with porn star Puma Swede while flying his helicopter over San Diego. The FAA investigated after the videotaped sexcapade was made available online.

“We’re going to review the video. We’re going to try to speak to everyone in the video, including the porn star, and we’re going to go from there,” FAA spokesman Ian Gregor said. “We probably should have taken a closer look at the evidence when it was first presented to us. And I can assure you, we’re doing that right now.”

To repeat, the guy from the FAA said, “”We probably should have taken a closer look at the evidence when it was first presented to us. And I can assure you, we’re doing that right now.”

When did government guys get funny?

Source: Aero-News.net

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