Tag: piracy

The way the Russians handle terrorism vs. the way we handle it

The Somali pirates quickly found themselves at room temperature and the Russians shrugged their shoulders and said, “They’re dead? Really? Must have been swine flu because we treated them with the utmost respect and courtesy.” Then there’s this infuriating Associated Press story about how we’re handling a similar group of Somali pirates.

somali pirates russians
Captain Jack al-Sparrow, Somali pirate and bon vivant

Last week the Russians sent commandos to deal with a group of Somali pirates who had commandeered a Russian ship.

The pirates quickly found themselves at room temperature and the Russians shrugged their shoulders and said, “They’re dead? Really? Must have been swine flu because we treated them with the utmost respect and courtesy.”

Then there’s this infuriating Associated Press story about how we’re handling a similar group of Somali pirates:

A federal judge has postponed the U.S. trial of six Somali nationals charged with piracy off the coast of Africa to give both sides more time to prepare.

U.S. District Judge Raymond A. Jackson on Thursday pushed back the trial to Oct. 19 from July. The suspects are charged in an April 10 attack on the Navy vessel USS Ashland.

The Somalis, who don’t speak English, are charged with piracy and related counts and could face life in prison if convicted.

The judge cited the potential for having to deal with classified information, the number of defendants, the language barrier and other hurdles in issuing the delay.

That sound you hear is Vladimir Putin laughing his ass off.

That other sound you hear is the vehement tsk-tsking of politically correct European socialists.

Source: Associated Press

Somali pirates die of swine flu and Russian bullets. But mostly Russian bullets.

We offer this advice as a public service to those noble pirates plying their trade off the Somali coast: Don’t screw with the Russians.

russians-kill-pirates
Kindly Russian doctors administering emergency medical treatment to ill Somali pirates

We offer this advice as a public service to those noble pirates plying their trade off the Somali coast: Don’t screw with the Russians.

Cleveland.com reports the details:

Following high level complaints about “imperfections” in international law, Russia announced Tuesday that captured Somali pirates “have all died.” A Russian official claimed that 10 pirates seized by Russian special forces aboard an oil tanker last week were quickly freed but then died on their way back to the Somali coast.

The unidentified high-ranking Defense Ministry official did not elaborate on how the pirates died, deepening a mystery that has prompted speculation the pirates were executed by commandos who had freed a Russian oil tanker seized in waters 500 miles (800 kilometers) east of Somalia’s coast.

The official told Russian news agencies the pirates’ boat disappeared from Russian radar about an hour after their release.

“They could not reach the coast and, apparently, have all died,” the official said.

The Defense Ministry could not be reached despite repeated phone calls Tuesday to the press office and the cell phones of spokesmen.

Russian officials have said one of the 11 pirates was killed during a gunbattle when the Russian special forces stormed the tanker on Thursday. The others, some said to have been wounded, were brought aboard a Russian destroyer.

Officials initially said they would be taken to Russia for trial, but the Defense Ministry said Friday they’d been released because of “imperfections” in international law. The statement was met with skepticism, especially in light of a comment made by the Russian president.

“We’ll have to do what our forefathers did when they met the pirates” until the international community comes up with a legal way of prosecuting them, Dmitry Medvedev said on the day the ship was stormed.

Think of the Russian commandos as a Muslim dating service: a direct link to 99 beautiful virgins.

Source: Cleveland.com

Somali pirates hijack Iranian boat. Who the hell do you root for?

It’s a conundrum. Who do you root for when a ragged band of Somali pirates hijacks an Iranian fishing boat?

Is that a Somali pirate behind those Foster-Grants?
Is that a Somali pirate behind those Foster-Grants?

It’s a conundrum. Who do you root for when a ragged band of Somali pirates hijacks an Iranian fishing boat?

Iranian Deputy Managing Director for Maritime Affairs Saeed Izadian said an Axis of Evil fishing boat has been captured in international waters by Somali pirates on Sunday.

“A number of armed men off the coast of Somalia hijacked this Iranian vessel,” Izadian sputtered.

He pegged the number of crewmen held hostage at 29, saying that pirates have not yet demanded a ransom.

Iranian fishermen versus Somali pirates. Vegas oddsmakers say take the fishermen and the points.

Source: New York Post

Idiot Somali pirates attack harmless cargo vessel, find out it’s a French warship

A group of brilliant Somali pirates stormed what they thought was a defenseless cargo vessel. Imagine their surprise when it turned out to be a heavily-armed French navy ship. Needless to say, the pirates came out second best in the encounter.

Arghhhh. No one ever said pirates were smart.
Arghhhh. No one ever said pirates were smart.

A group of brilliant Somali pirates stormed what they thought was a defenseless cargo vessel. Imagine their surprise when it turned out to be a heavily-armed French navy ship. Needless to say, the pirates came out second best in the encounter.

Here’s how the BBC reports the story:

French military spokesman Admiral Christophe Prazuck said the pirates attacked in skiffs late at night some 500km (310 miles) off the Somali coast.

But the command and supply ship, the Somme, repelled the attack and chased the pirates, capturing five of them.

…Admiral Prazuck told French TV station La Chaine Info the pirates seemed to be surprised that the navy ship fought back.

“Once they realised they were facing a ship that was responding and was heading towards them, they stopped shooting and attempted to flee,” he said.

“The Somme gave chase and intercepted one of the pirates’ boats. All the weapons had apparently been tossed into the sea and the suspected pirates are now being held on board the Somme.”

You know they’re bad pirates when they get defeated by the French military.

Source: BBC

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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