Iran-Backed Militia Accidentally Bombs Chinese Consulate in Iraq

Iran-Backed Militia Accidentally Bombs Chinese Consulate in Iraq. Things haven’t been this crazy since Obama droned a wedding.

The attack on Monday, claimed by an allegedly newly-formed militant group named “Saraya Awlia al-Dam (Dummies who can’t shoot straight),” featured about 14 rockets bombing various parts of the regional capital, including Erbil’s airport, residential areas, and at least one market. Local authorities confirmed at least one death and eight injuries, including civilians and at least one U.S. service member. Iraq’s Interior Ministry described the attack as similar in “method and technique” to past bombings of Erbil.

Ted Cruz Contacts DOJ, Demands Criminal Investigation Of Twitter Over Potential Crimes Related To Iran

Ted Cruz Contacts DOJ, Demands Criminal Investigation Of Twitter Over Potential Crimes Related To Iran. It’s beginning to look like Twitter and its principals may be in deep shit.

“The letter spelled out in detail how Twitter is in violation of IEEPA,” the senator’s letter to the Justice Department and Treasury Department explains. “It explained that the President invoked his powers under IEEPA to issue E.O. 13876, which prohibits ‘the making of any contribution or provision of… goods or services’ to persons designated pursuant to that order. It then cited two specific and active Twitter accounts belonging to individuals designated pursuant to E.O. 13876 – Ali Khamenei (@khamenei_ir), the Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic, and Javad Zarif (@JZarif), the Iranian Foreign Minister – and called on Twitter to come into compliance with United States law by ceasing to provide services to these individuals.”

Missile attacks target US forces in Iraq, senior military source says; Iran suspected

Missile attacks target US forces in Iraq, senior military source says; Iran suspected. 52 of our missiles should be on the way back soon. Make sure and wave when they explode.

Trump orders attack that kills Iranian Gen. Qassim Soleimani, other military officials in Baghdad, Pentagon says

Baghdad rocket attack kills Iranian military leaders ...

Trump orders attack that kills Iranian Gen. Qassim Soleimani, other military officials in Baghdad, Pentagon says. Poor guy and his helpers went all to pieces. The Democrats are already whining.

US Embassy compound in Baghdad targeted by mob protesting airstrikes; sit-in planned

Innocents in Iraq: How an American Diplomat Discovered ...

US Embassy compound in Baghdad targeted by mob protesting airstrikes; sit-in planned. Someone remind the Assahola Ayatollah that Trump isn’t Jimmy Carter 2.0. We suggest a cruise missile through his bedroom window at about 3 AM Iran time.

Iran Threatens Ballistic Missile Strikes on American Forces, Can Hit ‘All U.S. Bases’

Iran Threatens Ballistic Missile Strikes on American Forces, Can Hit ‘All U.S. Bases.’ Dear Iranian dummies, Obama isn’t president anymore, Trump is. If you try this we have a suspicion he’ll lay waste to Iran before you can say Allahu Akbar.

Post reporter Jason Rezaian and others to be freed in prisoner swap, according to Iranian media

Post reporter Jason Rezaian and others to be freed in prisoner swap, according to Iranian media. The way Obama releases prisoners from GITMO for nothing, we’ll say at least he got something in exchange this time. We’re happy for our released citizens.

Cynthia McKinney says U.S. government assassinated damn near everyone who’s ever been assassinated

She showed up on an Iranian TV interview show and said, among other things, that the United States government was responsible for the assassinations of John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and Julius Caesar.

Need we bother saying that this lunatic is a Democrat?

Former U.S. Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney seems to have found an eager audience in Iran. She showed up on an Iranian TV interview show and said, among other things, that the United States government was responsible for the assassinations of John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and Julius Caesar.

(OK, we threw in Caesar. But she probably would have said it if she’d thought of it.)

What could make this story any better? How about the fact that she was in Iran at an United Nations-supported Conference on Global Fight Against Terrorism.

Take it away, Cynthia.

http://youtu.be/uPIuDPdLzDQ

Iran moves into the 13th century: Ahmadinejad allies charged with sorcery

Here’s more proof – as if you really needed any – that Iran is home to more lunatics per capita than any other nation on the face of the earth.

This is one of those stories that sounds like it originated at The Onion, but it’s real.

Here’s more proof – as if you really needed any – that Iran is home to more lunatics per capita than any other nation on the face of the earth.

ahmadinejad
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad maintains is grip on power, but not on reality

The Guardian UK has the details:

Close allies of Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, have been accused of using supernatural powers to further his policies amid an increasingly bitter power struggle between him and the country’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

Several people said to be close to the president and his chief of staff, Esfandiar Rahim Mashaei, have been arrested in recent days and charged with being “magicians” and invoking djinns (spirits).

Ayandeh, an Iranian news website, described one of the arrested men, Abbas Ghaffari, as “a man with special skills in metaphysics and connections with the unknown worlds”.

The arrests come amid a growing rift between Ahmadinejad and Khamenei which has prompted several MPs to call for the president to be impeached.

These people have the ability to make nuclear weapons and they believe in genies. These two facts do not compute.

Source: Guardian UK

13th century nation introduces 20th century technology: Iran has it’s first diesel locomotive

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is particularly proud of this technological achievement and will reportedly celebrate by using the powers of the presidency to force engineers to blow the horn as they pass him at railway crossings.

To those of you who say Islamic culture is lost in the thirteenth century, Iran says, “Hah!” To prove that it’s not true, the nation has introduced early 20th century technology – its first diesel locomotive.

iran-diesel-train
"Come ride the little train that is rolling down the tracks to the junction, Burka Junction"

Fars News reports:

Iran on Tuesday unveiled the first diesel-engine locomotive, produced by the country’s experts, in a ceremony attended by First Vice-President Mohammad Reza Rahimi.

After unveiling the diesel engine locomotive, Rahimi was briefed on the potentialities of this national achievement gained by the Iranian experts.

This diesel locomotive has been produced at the cost of 77 billion rials and it is about 3,710 kilos in weight.

Its engine power is rated at 1,000 kW per minute.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is particularly proud of this technological achievement and will reportedly celebrate by using the powers of the presidency to force engineers to blow the horn as they pass him at railway crossings.

Whooooo whooooo!

Source: Fars News

British leader on Iran boycott of London Olympics: “Don’t let the door hit you in the Farsi on the way out”

That international sporting powerhouse otherwise known as Iran is threatening to boycott the London 2012 Olympics. And the world trembles. Except for British Prime Minister David Cameron.

That international sporting powerhouse otherwise known as Iran is threatening to boycott the London 2012 Olympics. And the world trembles. Except for British Prime Minister David Cameron.

london-olympics-2012
It's like looking at clouds. We saw a puppy dog, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad saw a Jewish conspiracy.

The BBC has the report:

Last week, Iran threatened to stay away over claims the 2012 logo was racist as it resembled the word “Zion”, a biblical term for Israel.

The prime minister told London-based paper Jewish News: “It’s completely paranoid. If the Iranians don’t want to come, don’t come – we won’t miss you.
“It would be a crazy reason for not coming,” he said.

Crazy? C’mon, Prime Minister Cameron. Crazy is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s middle name.

In the 2008 Olympics, Iran one won gold in Mens 80 kg Taekwondo and tied for a bronze in Men’s 60 kg wrestling. That’s it. 73,000,000 people and they won one gold and tied for a bronze medal.

Save yourself the airfare, Mahmoud. And the embarrassment.

Source: BBC

Hillary says, “Hey, Mahmoud, if you like those Egyptian protests so much, how about having some in Teheran.”

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton actually spoke up against an enemy of the United States. Yeah, the Hillary Clinton. She actually accused Iran and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of hypocrisy.

Well, this is odd. This is something you don’t see very often.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton actually spoke up against an enemy of the United States. Yeah, the Hillary Clinton. She actually accused Iran and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of hypocrisy.

Will wonders never cease?

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper to Iran: “Screw you and the camel you rode in on”

While President Obama was busy shining Chinese President Hu’s shoes on Wednesday, Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper was actually acting like a national leader and telling the Iranian government to stick it where the sun don’t shine.

While President Obama was busy shining Chinese President Hu’s shoes on Wednesday, Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper was actually acting like a national leader and telling the Iranian government to stick it where the sun don’t shine. (And when we say “where the sun don’t shine,” we don’t mean north of the Artic circle in January.)

stephan-harper-canada
Would you be surprised to find out that Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a conservative? Nah, we didn't think so.

Canada’s National Post has the un-American details of a national leader who actually stands up for his nation:

The Harper government sent a diplomatic note to Iran Wednesday, as Heritage Minister James Moore lashed out at Tehran for its part in a campaign that cancelled the screening of a movie critical of the Iranian regime at Library and Archives Canada.

On Wednesday morning, the Minister instructed Library and Archives Canada to show Iranium, a documentary critiquing Iran’s nuclear program, after it cowed to numerous threats of protest and an official request from the Iranian embassy in Canada to not present the film Tuesday night, as scheduled.

In its diplomatic note to Tehran, the government said Canada is a free country and that freedom of expression is a core value that won’t be compromised.

“This movie will be shown, the agreement will be kept and this movie Iranium will be shown at Library and Archives Canada. We will not be moving it to a different facility, we’re not bending to any pressure,” said Mr. Moore on the CBC’s Power and Politics.

“People need to be kept safe, but we don’t back down to people who try to censor people by threats of violence.”

Prime Minister Harper, it seems, has bigger balls than President Obama. But then, so does Angela Merkel.

Source: National Post

Gays in the military: Barbara Boxer compares United States to Iran, North Korea and Pakistan

Oh, how proud California’s voters must be. Barbara Boxer, their recently-reelected United States senator, actually compared the United States to Iran, North Korea and Pakistan because none of those nations allow gays in their military.

Oh, how proud California’s voters must be. Barbara Boxer, their recently-reelected United States senator, actually compared the United States to Iran, North Korea and Pakistan because none of those nations allow gays in their military.

north korean army
Who's kidding who? If there are no gays in the North Korean army, why do they look so much like the Rockettes?

CNS News has the details:

Boxer likened the U.S.A. to the Communist regime in North Korea, the Islamic regime in Iran and the Pakistani government at a press conference in which she called for repealing the ban on homosexuals in the military during the lameduck session of Congress, which is taking place now before the new members elected on Nov. 2 can arrive in Washington, D.C. and replace the members who are retiring or who were defeated.

“We now stand with this rule with countries like Iran, North Korea and Pakistan in banning gays and lesbians from military service,” said Boxer. “Our brave young men and women fight alongside allies like Australia, the United Kingdom and others who allow gays and lesbians to serve openly. Let’s not stand with Pakistan and with North Korea and Iran.”

Barbara, honey, you seem to forget that being gay is a crime punishable by death in Iran and Pakistan. And just being a citizen of North Korea seems to be a crime punishable by death.

We have a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. They have a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Breathe” policy.

Source: CNS News

Is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a secret IHateTheMedia.com fan?

That’s right, someone in Iran, home of the world’s strictest Muslim theocracy, is reading IHateTheMedia.com. We were even more surprised to see that he had landed on our “Fox News Anchor Babes In Short Skirts” story.

We have a reader in Iran. We don’t know exactly who he, but we have our suspicions.

We know this thanks to a website called StatCounter.com that provides a set of analytical tools that allow website owners to take a closer look their viewers. We can see things like total page views, unique page views, most popular pages, etc.

One of our favorite tools is the “Recent Visitor Map.” It shows the city and country of each of your website’s last 500 visitors, what IHTM page they landed on and their referring URLs.

ahmadinejads-wife
If this were your wife, you'd be Googling "Hot Fox News Babes," too

So Friday at 10:39 p.m., just before calling it a night, we checked the Recent Visitor Map. The image at the top of this story is a cropped screen capture of that map. As you might expect, most of our visitors came from the United States, but others came from Canada, Australia, Brazil, Turkey, India, China, The Phillipines, and oddly enough, Iran.

That’s right, someone in Iran, home of the world’s strictest Muslim theocracy, is reading IHateTheMedia.com.

We assumed that visitor would be reading one of our stories about Muslims (sorry for the stereotype, but our experience has been that most of our hits from Muslim countries land on stories involving Muslims).

Anyway, we were surprised to see that the Iranian visitor was located in Tehran. We were even more surprised to see that he had landed on our “Fox News Anchor Babes In Short Skirts” story that we did about two years ago. And then we got the biggest surprise of all. This reader found IHateTheMedia.com by doing a Google search for “lovely older black hot ladies.”

Now we don’t care what this Iranian’s personal proclivities may be. To each his own. Traffic is traffic, so we certainly welcome visitors from all around the world.

And in that spirit we say, “Welcome, Mahmoud.” Your secret is safe with us.

Top ten unbelievable things Mahmoud Ahmadinejad believes

What does Ahmadinejad believe? IHateTheMedia.com’s editor sat down for an in-depth interview with the Iranian leader and this is what he told us:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad recently gave a speech outlining his firm decision to govern his nation by guidance from a collection of mistruths, lies, distortions and urban legends. Fortunately, he gave this speech at the United Nations where they’ve been doing that for years.

mahmoud ahmadinejad
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - bon vivant, anecdotalist, gourmet chef, murderous wacko

But what else does Ahmadinejad believe? IHateTheMedia.com’s editor sat down for an in-depth interview with the Iranian leader and this is what he told us:

10. Islam specifically bans trick-or-treating because of shards of glass and razor blades have been implanted in candy by evil people, who are probaby Jewish.

9. While parking with his girlfriend, Ahmadinejad heard the news that a political prisoner who had a hook for a hand escaped from a nearby re-education facility. He immediately left the area and when he got home, he found a hook lodged in the car’s door handle!

8. Captain Kangaroo was a trained Marine sniper. He was also probably Jewish.

7. A Nigerian prince has $2 million that he wants Ahmadinejad to hold onto. Damn sanctions make it impossible for him to claim his cash.

6. Barack Obama was born in the United States

Continue reading “Top ten unbelievable things Mahmoud Ahmadinejad believes”

Gimme a P. Gimme an A. Gimme an N. Gimme a T. Gimme an S. What does it spell? Caving in to Iran.

The political correctness scoreboard the score was Iran 1, USA 0 because the Team USA dancers were required to wear long pants in what was called a “nod to Muslim law.”

team usa cheerleaders
Nothing to cheer about: Team USA cheerleaders cover up for Team Iran

Team USA kicked Iran’s ass in the basketball world championships. The final score was the United States 88, Iran 51.

But on the political correctness scoreboard the score was Iran 1, USA 0 because the Team USA dancers were required to wear long pants in what was called a “nod to Muslim law.”

The Associated Press uncovered the cover-up:

[In] a nod to the Iranian supporters in Istanbul — which included minister of sports Ali Saeedlou earlier in the tournament — dancers were ordered to cover up for their performances during the game. Islam prohibits women from exposing their skin in public, and Iranian officials had turned their backs when the dancers performed in earlier games.

The dancers wore long pants Wednesday.

This, of course, is in sharp contrast to the way the Obama administration normally drops its pants for the Iranians.

Source: Associated Press

Calling the left crazy a year ago makes us look sane now

Don’t look for the Huffington Post to recycle last year’s column about Obama the “strategist” as one of its great journalistic efforts of the decade.

ahmadinejad huffington post
Toying with its prey: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been the cat, Barack Obama has been the mouse.

Don’t look for the Huffington Post to recycle its column about Obama the “strategist” as one of its great journalistic efforts of the decade.

At about this time last year we lambasted a HuffPo article about The Greatest Strategist Ever’s dealings with Iran.

The HuffPo article, hilariously entitled “Outmaneuvering Iran”, contained a lot of material that didn’t make it into our original story. Not because of space, but quite frankly, because we grew weary of reading HuffPo.

Regardless, here are some of the leftist pearls of wisdom that missed our first cut:

“Obama is now well positioned to unite world leaders in a long-term strategy to back Iran away from nuclear weapons. While some nations mistrusted the previous administration–fearing a repeat of the Iraq War–they have more confidence in Obama. They don’t believe he will use military force, except as a last resort.”

And then there was this little gem:

“Meanwhile, Obama’s missile defense decision–a move that puts more military assets in position more quickly against the Iranian missiles–not only increases the pressure on Iran but allows Russia to move closer to the U.S. position without appearing to be buckling to America.”

Yes, all this has obviously worked out so very well. We’re only surprised that Obama doesn’t have the U.S. help Iran load fuel rods into its reactors just to show them that we knew that they knew that we knew they knew. Or something like that.

We may not be Jean Dixon here, but give us credit on calling it a year ago. The left was crazy then. And it’s even crazier now.

Source: Huffington Post

More proof that kissing ass does work in diplomacy. But only for the bad guys.

So who says Obama’s strategy of sanctions on one hand and promises on the other isn’t working? Looks like it’s working fine for Iran and Russia.

This story is slightly confusing, so please bear with us as we attempt to unravel it for you.

It seems that our Diplomat in Chief has advanced beyond mere bowing and scraping and moved on to full-fledged bribery. Mere cuddling up to Vladimir Putin and company wasn’t enough so the Obama administration used something that every Russian mobster understands – cold, hard cash.

ahmadinejad-ass-kissing
Obama kisses Putin's ass. Putin kisses Ahmadinejad's ass. Ahmadinejad laughs his ass off.

According to the Telegraph UK, “The Pentagon plans to buy ten Russian military helicopters for Afghanistan’s fledgling air force at a cost of $180 million (£119 million), ignoring protests from Congressmen who say US aircraft should be considered.”

Oh, sure, a few token Congressmen have a hissy fit because the helicopters are not being purchased from American companies, who as everybody knows, are doing swell these days.

What these sad, pathetic, shortsighted congressmen don’t understand is the fine art of diplomacy. Sure, we’re getting these expensive ass helicopters from Russia, but there’s a good reason – we are trying to win Russia’s support to prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons. Now do you get it?

In a completely unrelated story, CNN reports that “Russia will start loading a nuclear reactor in Iran with fuel next week, moving the project closer to being complete, both nations said Friday. This event will symbolize that the period of testing is over and the stage of physical start-up has begun,” said Sergei Novikov, spokesman for Russia’s Federal Atomic Energy Agency.”

So who says Obama’s strategy of sanctions on one hand and promises on the other isn’t working? Looks like it’s working fine for Iran and Russia.

Source: CNN, Telegraph UK

Emirates ambassador says, “What the hell, let’s let Israel bomb Iran.”

First Saudi Arabia hinted that it would let Israel use the Kingdom’s airspace if and when it decides to take out Iran’s nuke facilities. Now the United Arab Emirates’ ambassador to the United States has made it pretty clear that his nation wouldn’t object to an air strike or two, either.

yousef al otaiba
Emirates ambassador whispers, "Psst. Hey, Israel. Go ahead and bomb Iran."

First Saudi Arabia hinted that it would let Israel use the Kingdom’s airspace if and when it decides to take out Iran’s nuke facilities. Now the United Arab Emirates’ ambassador to the United States has made it pretty clear that his nation wouldn’t object to an air strike or two, either.

The Jerusalem Post has the anti-Iranian information:

The United Arab Emirates ambassador to the United States said Tuesday that it would be worthwhile to bomb Iran’s nuclear program, The Washington Times reported.

Ambassador Yousef al-Otaiba reportedly endorsed the military option if sanctions do not stop Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons.

“I think it’s a cost-benefit analysis,” Otaiba said to an audience in Aspen, Colorado. “I think despite the large amount of trade we do with Iran, which is close to $12 billion … there will be consequences, there will be a backlash and there will be problems with people protesting and rioting and very unhappy that there is an outside force attacking a Muslim country; that is going to happen no matter what.”

“If you are asking me, ‘Am I willing to live with that versus living with a nuclear Iran?,’ my answer is still the same: ‘We cannot live with a nuclear Iran.’ I am willing to absorb what takes place at the expense of the security of the UAE,” Otaiba reportedly said, in response to a question after a public interview with the Atlantic magazine. His remarks shocked many in the audience, The Washington Times reported.

We know a beautiful Chinese woman who tells the story that her elderly grandmother once advised her, “You should marry a Chinese man. But if you can’t marry a Chinese man, marry a white man. But if you can’t marry a white man, marry a Japanese man. But whatever you do, don’t marry a Korean man.”

Looks like the Iranians have officially become the Koreans of the Middle East.

(Hey, don’t blame us for this story. Blame our friend’s elderly grandmother. Old ladies can get away with saying crap like that.)

H/T: Gateway Pundit

An object lesson for President Obama: What happens when you extend your hand in peace to a shark

Think of the fisherman as President Obama. Think of the shark as Iran. Or Russia. Or China. Or Venezuela. Or North Korea. Or Cuba. Or damn near any of the countries to which our esteemed leader is willing to extend his hand with no preconditions.

Think of the fisherman as President Obama. Think of the shark as Iran. Or Russia. Or China. Or Venezuela. Or North Korea. Or Cuba. Or damn near any of the countries to which our esteemed leader is willing to extend his hand with no preconditions.

WARNING: Obscenity mixed with equal amounts of hilarity

Source: Viral Footage

U.S. expands sanctions list aimed at Iran’s nukes. Blather. Rinse. Repeat.

For anyone who hasn’t lived in a cave for the last twenty years, it is painfully obvious that “sanctions” never work. It’s pretty much the equivalent of a “time out” for a serial killer, or in this case a deranged dictator – same thing.

obama-washington
Is it us or is G. Washington blushing more than usual?

For anyone who hasn’t lived in a cave for the last twenty years, it is painfully obvious that “sanctions” never work. It’s pretty much the equivalent of a “time out” for a serial killer, or in this case a deranged dictator – same thing.

The Obama administration has a problem with history. They haven’t read it and are rushing to repeat all the mistakes.

The Associated Press reports on Obama’s historical myopia:

The targets include five companies and 90 ships that Iran used to evade three previous rounds of sanctions, said Stuart Levey, Treasury’s undersecretary for terrorism and financial intelligence. Levey said Iran even renamed and repainted some ships to try to evade recognition.

Marina Ottaway, a fellow at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace in Washington, said she doubts sanctions will push Iran to ditch its nuclear program. “I can’t think of any example of a regime that has been brought to its knees by sanctions,” she said. “Sanctions are an expression of frustration by the countries that enforce them.”

Well, now Miss Ottaway, we beg to differ. We have some ideas for sanctions that will bring Iran to its knees faster than Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office. How about embargoing:

radioactive-symbol
Embargo Item #5: If it continues threatening Israel, Iran may need a lot of these radioactive signs

1. No more “Baywatch” DVDs for Mahmoud.

2. No more goat lingerie for Victoria’s Secret Tehran.

3. No more of those “Miami Vice” stubble razors for Iranian men.

4. No more copies of Mein Kampf for Iranian libraries.

5. No more of those helpful “Radioactive” warning signs.

6. No more designer label dynamite vests.

George Washington said, “It is much easier at all times to prevent an evil than to rectify mistakes.”

Barack Obama said he would sit down with any of our enemies without preconditions.

We think we’ll go with Washington on this one.

Source: Associated Press, USA Today

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