UNREPENTANT TERRORIST AYERS’ BOOK BOMBS, DESPITE MSNBC SUPPORT. Well, at 467 copies he’s doing better than Obamacare signups.

47M Americans hit by food stamp cuts starting today. Chicago Jesus rewards his low-information voters. You’d think he could at least come up with some loaves and fishes for them. Genuflect forward!

Obamacare Saw 248 Enrollments in First Two Days. 1 + 1 = Potato. Considering the US population is about 312 million, this basically sucks. Yet another fail from King Barry.

Mitch McConnell: Reading between the lines: We’ve got some lines for Mitch McConnell to read between. And by lines we mean our pointer and ring fingers.

God, Lies, and Obama. The old song said “Been down so long seems like ‘up’ to me.” BO’s been lyin’ for so long…

Flush with the successful launch of Healthcare.gov… the Obama administration is ready to take over the news media. Much as we hate the media, even we don’t hate them that much. If the history of MSNBC tells us anything, it’s that being run by the government is no path to success.

Do the Healthcare Mash. Sing along while you’re waiting for healthcare.gov to become sorta functional.

Rasmussen poll: 37% think zombies could do a better job running the country. Our faith in the intelligence of the American electorate is restored.

Muslim suicide bomber blows himself up on empty beach. Darwin Award shoo-in.

NSA even spied on the Pope! These Keystone Voyeurs couldn’t find Osama bin Laden for ten years but they were all over Pope Francis from day one. Maybe they were afraid he belonged to the Tea Party and needed an IRS audit.

Obama: Bad apple insurance companies are to blame for all this losing of plans you liked. No, President Quagmire, they didn’t un-build that, someone else helped them do it.

The secret no one is talking about buried in Obamacare. “One of the goals of Obamacare… is to separate employment from health insurance. …the ACA law is littered with even worse economic incentives. One of them is mobility. Obamacare will cause people to freeze in geographic location.” Seriously, we think the only real goal of ObumblerCare was to produce something, anything the Demo-media could pass off as national health care and attribute it as a miracle performed by their sort-of-god, Barack Obama. Hail! Eleventy! Unicorns! Obama!

CONGRATULATIONS, DEMOCRATS! Nearly Half of New York Doctors Bailing on Obamacare. If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor he’ll tell you to take a hike.

PETA upset about cruelty to… cockroaches. What’s next for PETA after this? Lobbying for minimum wages for dung beetles? Protests against the solitary confinement of smallpox viruses?

Obamacare website sending people to Brooklyn Cupcake shop. Hey, maybe this is a sign things are improving. “Go buy a cupcake” is certainly more useful than “404 Error.”

Sebelius says ‘Obamacare website never crashed’. Obamacare website promptly crashes. It appears the Al Gore effect has morphed into the Sebelius effect.

As opposed to Democrats, who want it as big as possible so it can be anally-inserted. MSNBC’s Krystal Ball says Republicans want government small so it can be vaginally-inserted. Yup, that’s what she said.

MSNBC host Ronan Farrow is nostalgic for the Clintons. Specifically, he misses their honesty:

“I think they represent a style of honesty that the public craves right now.”

Being professional media analysts here at IHTM, we can read between the lines and ascertain the subtle meaning underlying this statement: MSNBC is smoking some powerful weed, man.

RNC’s new videos mocking Obamacare. Remember those old “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” commercials Apple used to mock Microsoft? Perfect format.

Under pressure from White House, NBC censors news that Obama wrote regs to disqualify and terminate health insurance policies. It’s not only that the WH knew policies would be cancelled, they intentionally wrote the regulations regarding “grandfathering” in order to cause that to happen. NBC reported this info, then deleted it, but now it’s back… for a while, anyway.

Former Democratic staffer, burned by Obamacare: “I was wrong. Very wrong.” Congressional staffer spent two years enduring the slings and arrows of outraged constituents, unhappy over her Party’s crap sandwich. She’s since lost her job and now has to buy health insurance under the law she defended. The result? Petard, hoisted, yada, yada, yada.

PEOPLE BIOLOGICALLY TAKE PLEASURE IN THE PAIN OF OTHERS: This certainly explains Barry’s enthusiasm for the Deplorable Health Control Act.

Dem on ObamaCare: “We will own this problem forever.” As the signs in all the tourist trap souvenir stores say, “You BREAK it, you OWN it.” FYI: here’s the LA Times “sticker shock” story the mail alluded to. The pull quote: “I was all for Obamacare until I found out I was paying for it.”

Libertarian Jesus. “Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s…” not “From each according to whether they’re my cronies, to each according to my need.”

NBC says Obama admin. knew millions could not keep their health insurance. “Obama administration has known [this] for at least 3 years: …50 to 75 percent of the 14 million consumers who buy their insurance individually can expect to receive a ‘cancellation’ letter or the equivalent over the next year because their existing policies don’t meet the standards mandated by the new health care law. …[sources] say that many of those forced to buy pricier new policies will experience ‘sticker shock.’” It’s not a lie, it’s just a truth they decided not to tell until well after the election.