I HATE THE MEDIA ™

AP: Obama pushes plans that flopped before. Well, Obama is big on recycling, but what we need is less con and more jobs. No matter, Barry, give yourself an A+ for this and have the staff start packing for your next trip.

The first Occupy candidate: Nate Kleinman. Watch out Middle Class. This guy thinks you work for him. And he’s seeking elected office in order to guarantee it.

Obama Gave 1% to Charity, Romney Gave 15%: It would appear that President Greed has again been caught with his pants down. And no, Larry Sinclair or Reggie Love are not involved this time.

CalPERS earns 1.1% on investments in 2011. Only 6.65% below the average annual return of 7.75% that the actuaries say will be needed to meet its obligations. At some point California public union retirees are gonna hafta take a cut and/or members of the 99% like Robert Redford are gonna hafta pony up a LOT more dough. Good times.

Obama Warns He Will Fight Obstruction. Given Obama’s track record with promises we don’t think that AG Murder (or any of his cohorts involved in Fast and Furious) is shaking in his blood stained loafers over this .

C’mon guys, use spell check! Anger and finger pointing over misspelled ‘SHCOOL X-NG’ sign. The dumbing down of America continues. Make sure you thank the teacher’s union.

Al Gore is taking his fight against climate change to Antarctica next week as part of a cruise organized by his Climate Reality Project. Going on a cruise with a bunch of celebutards and bureaucrats to Antartica, trying to raise awareness in the locals of the link between their farting and greenhouse gases or something. Well, if anyone can enjoy a Chicken Little gag, it’s penguins.

Oil companies pay $6.8 million in fines for not meeting federal quotas for blending in cellulosic biofuels even though there weren’t enough of those biofuels available for use. Yeah, ’cause we gotta reduce our dependency on foriegn oil (that’s why no Keystone pipeline?) Oh, and the oil companies ain’t paying those fines… you are.

Atty Says School Threatened, Punished Boy Who Opposed Gay Adoption. Sorry Charlie, only politically correct free speech is allowed.

Filmmaker Oliver Stone would vote for Ron Paul over Obama. Gotta wonder if an endorsement from a pal of Castro and Chavez is more bug than feature.

Buffett’s Burlington Northern RR among winners from Keystone denial. The State Dept (yes, the same one that nixed the pipeline) says “With modest expansion, railroads can handle all new oil produced in western Canada through 2030.” Lord TaxMeMore is rewarded by the King for his loyal service.

Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) says LightSquared offered him a political “win” in exchange for backing down on FCC probe. Says two separate incidents implied a desire to have him “pull punches” in his investigation. More of those Chicago-style ethics, we surmise.

11 stunning revelations from Larry Summers’s secret economics memo to Barack Obama. James Pethokoukis wades thru a 57-page “Sensitive & Confidential” memo written by economist Larry Summers (later head of the presidents’s National Economic Council) to president-elect Obama in December 2008 and finds it contains more than a few inconvenient truths which they hid from the public.

Sen. John Kerry (D-Ketchup) showed up at a White House ceremony with 2 black eyes and a broken nose. Spokewoman said it was from playing hockey. Uhhh, sure… The consensus of the commenters deems plastic surgery to be the more likely cause, though quite a few think the missus clocked him. We’re sure he really was playing hockey, he just didn’t mention he was the puck.

Obama’s commitment to free enterprise is ‘profound’ “This president’s absolute faith and commitment to the free enterprise system is profound,” Carney told reporters during his daily briefing. I think he meant to say “not found”. And by “free enterprise” he obviously means everything is free for everyone. Where’s that DEM-a-goguery dictionary when you need it!?

Biden on Newt’s Marriage: “Character” matters. Times have changed from the Clinton years when the song went “Hey, it’s only sex!” Or from 2008 when it was raaaaacist to ask anything about Obama’s character other than what color one perceived his halo to be. How convenient.

The ‘S’ spot: Why scratching your ankle feels as good as sex. “Professor Francis McGlone, a member of the International Forum for the Study of Itch, said: ‘It was interesting that the ankle was the itchiest site and that the most pleasure came from scratching it, because the back has been well-known as a preferred site for scratching.’” After EXTENSIVE comparitive testing, the staff at IHTM.com has come to the conclusion that more testing is needed. We’ve also applied for several grants to fund our research…

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) detained by TSA in Nashville, TSA denies. Sen. Rand Paul’s chief of staff said the Senator “was detained by the TSA after their scanner had an ‘anomaly’ on the first scan.” The TSA says Sen. Rand Paul “was not detained at any point” but “triggered an alarm during routine airport screening and refused to complete the screening process in order to resolve the issue.” Well, OK then.

Doctors removed a 3-inch nail from a man’s brain after he accidentally fired it into his head. “Dante Autullo remained conscious after the self-inflicted injury and initially believed he had only brushed his nail gun against his head.” Stop right there – why the hell would anybody put his nail gun up close to his head???? We’re happy he’s OK but perhaps he should look for another line of work.

Davos elites to seek reforms of “outdated and crumbling” capitalism. Hey, capitalism wasn’t “outdated and crumbling” until pompous dicks started “fixing” it. The only thing that’s outdated and crumbling is the notion that a handful of self-styled experts is smarter than the free market. But these clowns never learn, do they?

Islamic Law Is Destructive to ‘Unalienable Rights’. “A federal appeals court has blocked an Oklahoma voter-approved measure barring state judges from considering Islamic and international law in their decisions.” Forget about your “rights” – they’ll soon be severed anyway…

After pic HERE – if you dare.

Dowd on the Obamas: “We disappointed them.” Maureen Dowd embraces her inner raaaaacist: “A presidency with all the joy of a root canal.” We agree, America is just not up to the task of having Barack Obama lead it. It would serve us right if he foresook us and never came back. In fact, we insist on it. (Link is to Don Surber’s article for those who don’t deserve the NY Times.)

U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords will step down from Congress this week to focus on her recovery, her staff announced Sunday. Weather forecast: expect a storm system of bullspit-laden bluster to blow in from the ocean of liberal propagandists as they sieze one last opportunity to use this tragedy to manipulate folks into voting for their incompetent boyfriend Barack.

Radical feminist refuses to admit son is a boy. She gave him a gender-neutral name, refused to tell anybody whether “infant” was boy or girl, dresses him in girl’s clothes, and encourages him to play with dolls. We already knew liberalism was a mental disease – now we know it’s contagious and passed down to children.

Cops: Man battered spouse, tried to blame “ghost”. And for some unknown reason, the police arrested him anyway. Maybe it was the booze on his breath and his fingerprints on her neck. Go figure.