I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Parody or does she believe it? CNN anchor blames asteroid on Global Warming. From the YouTube comments: “How long before they start calling the asteroid racist?” CNN, where The Onion gets its inspriation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-QA-jlbRqY

Obama to lay out “economic growth plan” in State of Union speech. “…offering proposals for investments in infrastructure, manufacturing, clean energy and education…” A remake of “Groundhog Day” starring Barack Obama in place of Bill Murray.

TREASURY SEC. NOMINEE LEW UNDER FIRE FOR CAYMAN ISLANDS INVESTMENTS. Remember Obama and the Dems complaining about Romney’s offshore investments? Looks like the Democrats are finding out karma is indeed a bitch.

University’s butt plug giveaway prompts discomfort on campus. Just when you think educators can’t get any dumber, someone plugs that theory up.

Texas teacher suspended after she emptied PENCIL SHAVINGS into student’s mouth. Yet another moron schoolteacher! We have to wonder what would possess someone to do this? Good thing she didn’t stand him against a wall and blow his head off with a 12 gauge shotgun 12 inches from his face.

When crazed shooters can’t be linked to the Tea Party, media displays admirable restraint. “Dorner’s manifesto clearly indicates that the media, and its coverage of the gun control debate that has followed the Newtown massacre, influenced him significantly.” What’s the difference between hypocrisy and journ0lism? Well, one of them is spelled with an “h”.

I went to hell and have brought it back with me. “…Anthony Esolen argues that our government has failed to admit that its own selfishness is the root of many societal problems it has attempted to address.” Government of the gubbermint, by the gubbermint and for the gubbermint…

Congressman To Truth-check Obama State Of The Union Live, As It Happens. We expect to see a lot of “You lie!” on Twitter that night.

SECRET HAGEL DONOR?: WHITE HOUSE SPOX DUCKS QUESTION ON ‘FRIENDS OF HAMAS.’ Friends of Hamas? Iran endorses him? Next we suppose Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi will fly over to testify what a wonderful guy Chuckie is. Meanwhile the chickens in the White House will continue hanging up when anyone calls about this. Bawk! Bawk!

Federal agents arrest man after he attempts to bomb bank in Oakland. He sought to “…make it appear that the responsible party was an umbrella organization for a loose collection of anti-government militias… Llaneza’s stated goal was to trigger a governmental crackdown, which he expected would trigger a right-wing counter-response against the government followed by… civil war.” He seems to think the entire establisment is left-wing for some reason.

Tony Bennett would like assault weapons eliminated. Yeah, we’ll we’d like bad toupees eliminated. We have a little difficulty taking seriously a man who wears a dead raccoon on his head. Sing, Tony. Otherwise shut the hell up.

LAPD manhunt: Some cheer on fugitive Christopher Dorner with anti-cop, gun control, race agendas. “…a group of ardent supporters who back Dorner for a variety of reasons. #GoDornerGo, #WeAreAllChrisDorner and other hashtags have been gaining momentum on Twitter.” Any bets these same idiots will be suing LAPD if their hero injures one of them?

ERIC HOLDER: OBAMA DECIDES WHO’S ‘ENTITLED’ TO SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHTS. So Emperor Obama now supercedes the Constitution of the United States? Pray hard that Eric Holder never gets appointed to the Supreme Court.

Student: I Was Hospitalized for Calling My Prof a Bitch. Yet more insanity from educators. Looks like they’ve hit a new low.

Horror at mass sterilisation camp in lndia as women are dumped unconscious in a FIELD after painful operation. Hey Paul Krugman! Here’s another way to keep Obamacare solvent!

California no longer requiring eighth graders to take Algebra. They will teach them the new California math. If Mr. Jones makes $250,000 per year and Jerry Brown and Obama tax the snot out of him does he have any money left?

The Obama skeet-shooting action figure has arrived! If only we had an Obama do-something-useful-on-the-economy action figure, but he knows even less about that than he does about skeet shooting.

NY Times notices Obama tax hikes are crushing Americans, fails to mention Obama. Well, if Bushes/tsunamis/earthquakes/hurricanes/one-percenters/Romneys aren’t to blame, it must be some kind of freak accident or something.

Armed citizens force officials to back down. The government wants gun confiscation so they can get away with whatever they want to, Constitution be damned. This is why gun owners need the 2nd Amendment, which seems to have worked as intended.

You Don’t Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way Journalists Blow. Um, you don’t need a weatherman to tell who MSM journalists blow either.

Smart Car: Driver killed after her micro-sized vehicle hits a… motorcycle. We heartily suggest Obama immediately sign an executive order giving Smart cars to all members of the Sierra Club, the Department of Interior, Greenpeace, and the EPA. Jerry Brown needs one, too.

Panetta: Obama absent night of Benghazi. “There were no calls about the what was going on in Benghazi. He [the president] never called to check-in.” Hillary’s 2008 “who’s gonna answer the White House phone at 3am” ad was prescient but ironically, she didn’t answer it either. Where’s that damn janitor????

SEE THE PRAYER BREAKFAST SPEECH THAT’S GRABBING HEADLINES: DOCTOR ATTACKS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS, NATIONAL DEBT IN FRONT OF OBAMA. We wonder if the IRS was waiting for him on his front porch when he got home?

News media scrubs manifesto of suspect in LA killing rampage. Turns out he’s pro-Obama, pro-Hillary, pro-MSNBC, pro-CNN, pro-gay, loves Piers Morgan, and he’s anti-gun. In other words, he’s a typical, bitter, cop-killing, irrational, staunch Democrat… and the media doesn’t want you to know it.

Man claims IRS agent coerced him into sex. First thought: why couldn’t I get an IRS agent like that? Second thought: once the IRS is after you, you’re gonna get screwed one way or another.